What do I do?

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I'm still not getting anywhere with my situation..my patients is fading and my frustration is rising. In no way is my aunt in any danger from me, but what about my health? I've been trying to get her to make some phone calls to find a short term care facility, but it just doesn't happen. I'm way past burn out, but still managing to hold it together somehow. Oct 2016 was when her husband dropped her off at my door. I am alone and the only assistance I get is a provider 4x a week, lucky if I get 45 minutes 2x a week. Physically I'm no longer capable, I'm going to end up 6ft under if something doesn't change real soon.


Its been almost 4 months since I have gotten to get out of this house. My chest is extremely tight all the time and 45% of the time chest pain along with it. I'm having trouble breathing...and a double inguinal hernia in need of repair...I do good to get out of bed on the morning...some days I tend to her and go back to bed with out bothering to do anything for me. I love her to death and I'm trying hard to do what's right, but I'm fighting the urge to simply walk out the door and never return...this is my home and its paid for...but I don't really care. I'm beginning to think the only options are to walk away from everything and never look back or end up with ruptured hernia and toe tag in the morgue...there has got to be a way?

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Just read your profile. You got your aunt on Medicaid; now you need to get her into a skilled care facility that accepts Medicaid. Her needs exceed your capabilities. Aunt needs 24/7 professional care, in a setting that is designed for her limitations.

Make an appointment with your county’s agency for the elderly. Bring all of aunt’s paperwork and credentials. And your own — there may be extra assistance for you. And/or they’ll prioritize aunt’s case, due to your issues.

As you talk to the agencies, be very clear about aunt’s husband’s role — or lack thereof — in all this. This is critical information. Be persistent with the social workers.
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" I'm trying hard to do what's right,"

What is "right"? Why does it mean YOUR health has to suffer?

Posters have given you good advice already. Why is it that you don't seem to want to follow it?
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You got good advice the other time you posted. But it only works if you actually follow it.

You need your dear aunt out of your home. Call APS and tell them that you can no longer provide her care.

You say that you love her to death. It would be pretty sad if that turns out to be your death! That surely wouldn't do her any good.

There is a way! Please let us know what APS does.
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Have you called Adult Protective Services?

Have you scheduled your surgery and sent whomever has POA a certified letter telling them that you can no longer care for her after x date?

Have you started eviction proceedings?
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