We went to see Mom, after 15 months.

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She became dependent on us.

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Yes, you did the very best you could. But you aren't God and you can't heal the sick and infirm and give a 95 year old woman back her youth and home. But you did the best you could and that was wonderful of you and your sister.
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Sorry Chicago, d**n if you do d**n if your don't. Impossible situations.
You tried, between all the nonsense, she felt your love.
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She was so dependent on my middle sister, that I believe the stress led my sister to an early grave. So, Mother didn't live long at home. She fell and eventually was moved to a NH.

My 75 yo sister lives in WY. I am 60 and in AZ. and mother is in IL.

The first 2 days were great. The NH is great and has saved her life. The aids are helpful and nice and the food is giving her the nutrition that she needed. She is clean and dressed and safe.

But, on day 3 of me visiting, she suddenly needed me to ring her call light, push her wheel chair, brush her teeth, etc. She started talking about "going passed her house, to pick up some stuff." She can't sit up in bed, or stand w/o assistance. They do make her walk down the hall, with a walker, but she fights them, about it.

I finally told her flat out, that I cannot put her in a car and get her out. She says that she can walk. I was almost tempted to push her out in the rain and tell her to get in the car.

One of the main problems is that she can't hear and she did nothing about it, for 10 years.

I stayed a week and my elderly sister is still there and is still listening to the nonsense about "going to the house, to pick up some stuff."

We gave her a nice 95th birthday party (which worried her) and she had 25 guests and family members. Most of the people that have cared for her in the past, are sick with cancer, but Mother says that there is nothing wrong with them.

She asked me to bring her back to AZ. with me and I said "Are you going to get on an airplane?" No response.

Anyway, she was doing so well - until we showed up to celebrate her birthday. There just wasn't anything we could do, but go, since it had been so long. But, the whole thing, did her no good.

This is just my perspective on how I upset the apple cart, by trying to help. Yikes.
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