I finally said I don’t want anymore surprises. I am tired of secrets. Of course my brother was the one with the secrets. I brought something to her attention. She was talking about how one of her brothers didn’t think he was getting anything. She felt bad but she took him to the lawyer and showed him the will. WoW how ironic that is all my brother wanted was to see her will. But he wouldn’t have done anything different. I guess we get 10 acres and the house of gold and if my brother farms the land it’s his except a percentage but if it’s rented out we will share that. Then she said this house is yours as long as you are alive. Also she is back up her leg is swollen and needs to be taken care. I hope I don’t sound like a brat. On the 9 th it’s my 50 th birthday and my husband and I were just going away to a lodge near my mom. Then my daddy’s old army friend passed away and is being laid to rest on the 11 th. I know my mom really wants to go and I do too he was a great person. So we canceled and now even my birthday meal alone with my husband is gone too. I can’t leave my mom here. February is the worst month and this year from last keeps continuing. I have been so positive and happy and grateful but now I feel so bad and selfish for even thinking about me.