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I finally said I don’t want anymore surprises. I am tired of secrets. Of course my brother was the one with the secrets. I brought something to her attention. She was talking about how one of her brothers didn’t think he was getting anything. She felt bad but she took him to the lawyer and showed him the will. WoW how ironic that is all my brother wanted was to see her will. But he wouldn’t have done anything different. I guess we get 10 acres and the house of gold and if my brother farms the land it’s his except a percentage but if it’s rented out we will share that. Then she said this house is yours as long as you are alive. Also she is back up her leg is swollen and needs to be taken care. I hope I don’t sound like a brat. On the 9 th it’s my 50 th birthday and my husband and I were just going away to a lodge near my mom. Then my daddy’s old army friend passed away and is being laid to rest on the 11 th. I know my mom really wants to go and I do too he was a great person. So we canceled and now even my birthday meal alone with my husband is gone too. I can’t leave my mom here. February is the worst month and this year from last keeps continuing. I have been so positive and happy and grateful but now I feel so bad and selfish for even thinking about me.

Your heart is in the right place Here, dear, But as for Mom....I hope she did the "Five year Look Back" So Medicaid one day if it comes to a Nursing Home, Won't take all of her "Will Money."
Talk to Her. Talk to an Estate Lawyer.
God Bless you.
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My FIL has taken my hubs and his brother to "see the lawyer and the will" several times,,, it says "everything is 50=50" Yeah I believe that like I believe in the tooth fairy.. BIL and wife talked FIL into buying a home where they would live with him and take care of him,,, lots of back story but I know full well hubs is gonna get screwed..no matter what the "will" says! I am not expecting anything,, but poor hubs thinks "things will work out". Sure if I buy out the river house.. So I have to just sit back and say "thank god for my mom" cause if we ever inherit anything it will be from her! Not that I expect anything... so just be prepared for the worst and hope for the best, It is all any of us can do
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Thank you all for your understanding it really seems you have walked in my shoes. I know you have.
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You know I asked my husband once do we even have to retire down there. I just feel like it’s never going to get better with my brother. It’s funny how my mom is still going to make sure her grandkids end up with it. Yet they have not spoken to her since my daddy’s funeral except to tell her she never worked a day in her life. You guys are right she should use it for her care. She thinks now that my brother is back that if she really needed him he would be there for her. It’s funny as we have been talking it has really aparent that no matter what my brother does he is her angel. Like I have said we would do everything to keep her farm going. Say he didn’t pay her rent last year. We were going to buy her luxury home 🤗for 30,000 so she had the money. We would do all the work and he would still have gotten the 280 acres and he could rent it from whenever he was. Gosh we would put up her dish for tv in the rain and it was expected but my brother Changed a light bulb and he was god. I remember sending them to Las Vegas for their 45 anniversary mgm air fare but according to her it could be better. We were idiots because she went the next 6 years and we ended paying for something either air fare or hotel. No matter what I did in my life was never good enough and if I hadn’t left 30 years ago I probably would be dead. Remember that’s all my brother ever brought up is i left 30 years ago I got to go to college. He was 26 years old no one was stopping him but he wanted to farm i figured it out. I was never going to be my brother the one that is living or the one who passed away at 9. All i ever was was compared to my brother who passed. I looked like him i smiled like him. I just want to be me and to be loved for me. I know i am enough today. Thank you all again
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It's not selfish to want time for yourself, or time with your husband. Husbands get sick too, and life changes. Grab time whenever you can to enjoy life together. BTW, my mom would sharply tell us "you and your sister will get everything". "Everything" has long been spent on AL and NH.
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Ugh.

My mother has waved that dang "will" over our heads since we were kids.

DPOA brother told me last year that I will inherit $9875. Total. That's it.

Seriously? I laughed so hard I made myself sick. All this secret back talk and "I'm cutting you out of the will!!" for less than $10K.

Mom sounds like she loves to manipulate you. Not fair.

After I KNEW how much (little?) I was getting, I simply say to her, when the discussion of the "Will" comes up, "Mom, do what you want. I don't want to talk about this".

I guess when they bought this in 1970, $50,000 seemed like a LOT of money.
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SB, It doesn't sound like your Mom changed her Will as you were told previously that you are to inherit the house and 10 acres.  Your Mom is just blowing smoke and trying to get you upset...AGAIN!

If possible, try to eat a meal alone with your husband sometime this weekend to celebrate your 50th Birthday.  Your Mom does not need to spend every waking moment with you and your husband.  Maybe make arrangements for some of your daddy’s old army friends or your Mom's old friends to visit your Mom while you and your Hubby go out for dinner.

🎂Happy 50th Birthday!!!
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Don't fall for this ruse. You get one life and that's it. If you allow yourself to be controlled by this promise of a few shekels and a bit of land, then you have ceded your freedom and happiness to her. My suggestion would be for her to use some of her money/assets to pay for her care so that your life doesn't end at age 50.
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You are not selfish because you want to do something for yourself.

Mom really didn't change much in the Will, did she? You were suppose to get the house and 10 acres.
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M;y experience with this using the will to manipulate was to simply ignore the whole kerfuffle.  After all, you make a will one day, and the next you make a superseding will. On and on if you get on this treadmill.
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