I have learned a lot since joining this forum and learning so much about caregiving and all the damage it causes. I only had a year of caregiving; I failed when it came to giving up my goal of having my mother pass at my home. Her smoking issue became dangerous when she started waking all night long and smoking while falling back asleep: she burned her clothes, her cancer hat and her skin (at her fingers and forehead). At the very end, I had to place her because of my toddler and the baby in my stomach I felt guilt, but I knew it was the right thing to do.
Back to my gratitude here. I have learned that I never, ever, want any relative to "take care of me." I have learned that the situation ruins relationships and memories. Just recently my estranged daughter sent me a message, that if I'm ever in need of caregiving, she will step up...............OMG, NO, NO, NO. I am diligently setting up my "endgame" plan where I can leave this world knowing no one resents me or is burdened by me and, hopefully, will just smile when they remember me. Thank you all for teaching me how to plan for my own expiration date and what memories I want to leave behind.
"Back to my gratitude here. I have learned that I never, ever, want any relative to "take care of me." I have learned that the situation ruins relationships and memories."
I only feel love towards my Mom. But I can see how some people's situations can turn into ruined relationships and memories. Good warning!
I'm sorry for your loss.
Consider sticking around? Others here could use the opinion of someone who has been there and done that, who has marched right up to her own limitations and who has done what had to be done.
Best out to you.