I thought this was a website to help caregivers find answers to questions about caring for someone. When I joined this many years ago, I wanted to read about the logistics of getting proper care for my mother. I thought I would get hints to make her life easier and to make my life easier as well. Instead most of what I read is the belly aching and griping of people who are evidently burned out and have no compassion for their parent or the elderly. I am not sure where this should be posted but for goodness sakes folks, your kids are watching you and learning from you and you will be the elderly one day. Do you want the same treatment that you are giving to your parent? Keeping a home too cold is the same as elder abuse. Their blood does not circulate as well as yours. Walk around in your bathing suit if need be but keep them warm.
After your parent(s) are dead, will you regret the complaints you make and appreciate sacrifices that you make to keep them comfortable in their last years? My guess is yes because I have been there and done that. Read about hypothermia in the elderly, read about the depression of the elderly, read about the loneliness of the elderly and read about the loss of taste, smell, appetite, etc., and the loss of independence. Do you think they really want to live with you? NO. They would prefer to be able to take care of themselves in their own homes. Now grow up and deal with your issues like the adults and caregiver that you are supposed to be. Most likely they made concessions to take care of you when you were young but even if they were not perfect parents, that does not excuse you for basically mistreating them. Apologize to your parent for not being more understanding. Try to accommodate them for this ending of their lives. As I get older, rarely a day passes, that I don't whisper, "Mom, I am sorry, I did not understand" for some stupid comment that I made when she was alive. Again, I have been there and done that.
gmafaye, I'm sorry you read only the bad things and missed the good advice. I would say most of the parents on the group are keeping warm and their caregiver is doing whatever they can to keep cool. We usually find in the words of people what we're looking for. If you look for the positive, you will find it.
Example, my Dad would complain he needed a hair cut, and I would look at him and say "yep, you have a Dagwood going on there", and that got Dad laughing. I was lucky, Dad [95] enjoyed humor and was quick on the puns.
Dad's two caregivers also had a sense of humor so they would be joking about things that use to worry me... then that helped loosen the stress a bit :)
I don't think she's judging anyone more harshly than she's judging herself, and I feel very sorry for her.