Okay I admit it. I want my dad OUT.

You are not cold for wanting our dad out of the home...your feelings are very normal since many caregivers suffer from stress and depression because they are taking on many responsibilities. You do have options, depending on what your dad needs are and the resources in the community.
Options:
Assisted living facilities. Many have multiple living areas for those who suffer from Dementia, Alzheimers, etc so that it allows for your dad to receive the proper care he needs. Every facility is different in quality of care, so you may need research several before placing him.
There are Adult day care where you dad can socialize with others since its frustrating for him to rely on you 100% for his every need. This allows him to spend time with others his own age and gives him a break from you as well.
Respite care- there are in-home care services (some counties/cities may have a fund that can assist you for a few hours a day) every so often so you can stay healthy to care for your own needs.
In-home care: Thes agencies take on your roie and will care for the needs of your dad so he can age in the home. Prices and quality also vary- make sure you use a home care agency that employs their caregiver so you won't need to assume the extra stress of paying employment taxes. Ask about their screening & hiring processes....just like assisted facilities, these agencies vary widely too.

I hope this helps.
Ann
Accessible Health Care of South OC

Thanks for relying. I know I need to start looking at facilities so that if I make that choice, i will know my options. My problem will be him accepting anything. He refuses any kind of help outside me taking him the places he needs to go. His diet and medication habits are terrible but he gets very angry if I try to help or even make suggestions. He will not do adult day care because he is "not that old) (89). He will not answer the door if I am not here and I have offered to have lots of different people stay with him if I have to be gopne overnight or longer. I recently had to be gone two weeks and he allowed my friends and family to take him shopping but that was it. Nothing else.
He would not go a home willingly. I dont know what to do really.