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She has been getting better with each visit. I was so happy. She was laughing interacting with the others, eating well. She Always wanted to go home but never made a big deal out of it. Today she flipped out. It took 3 aids to somewhat calm her down and they were still with her when I left. Well if she behaved like that at home I was a dead. I have to make a decision by tomorrow whether she will stay there another 30 days or not. I was actually considering to take her home, get some home health aids and see what happens.It's just that she is so frantic to leave with me it pains both of us beyond belief. What am I doing?

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At some point, most of us will end up in a care facility. This should be discussed between couples, before the need arises. I bet that your wife would tell you that she would not want to be a burden on you.

I know how my mother took care of her elderly husbands and it wasn't her doing the caring. So now, I know how to handle her care.

Did your wife take care of the elderly in her family? It is a stressful 24/7 job.

If you were asking me personally what to do, I would advise you to stay away from the AL, for a period of time. Your wife needs time to adjust. If not, you might be moving her home and then, moving her again - or at the very least have numerous strangers, trying to care for her. I am sorry.
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Richie, I went back and read some of your previous postings. So sorry you are going through this at such a young age. It doesn't seem fair. You have a difficult decision to make... you need to stand back and take a hard look... what would be best for your wife AND what would be best for you.

Write down the pro and con of your wife remaining at the continuing care facility, and write down the pro and con of bring your wife home.

You could always try bringing your wife home and hire Caregivers, see what happens. But remember you would need to get a good night sleep otherwise lack of sleep can cause major health issues. At least you know the continuing care facility was good in case she had to return.
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Throwing a fit about coming home is a DAILY occurance with my father. PLEASE do yourself a favor and cease visiting her for a week. Let things calm down. They will. Everybody has been telling me that we should expect 3-4 months for a settling in period.

This is gut wrenching and in my case has the potential to rip families to shreds if there is a disagreement about coming home. You have to keep in mind that your loved one may sound like their own true self, but at this point reality, logic and reasoning are not who is throwing the tantrum. Take care of yourself!
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