for instance my earlier conversation with her went something like this. She said well I thought that I would take the night off and you go sit with mom from 7 till 9 p.m. I told her I wasn't planning on seeing mom tonight because I was having a dinner party at my home. She just thought it was terrible that I was going to miss seeing mom for a day and said well I guess I will have to go but you owe me. What's up with that? I am married and have children at home still and she is older and divorced and lived with mom forever with mom supporting her when she was younger and now she cannot spend an evening with mom because she would rather stay at home and spend time with her dogs! I am very ashamed of her attitude towards mom. I do go to visit mom but mainly late afternoons after I get off work so that I can still go home and cook and spend time with my family without feeling like I am disregarding my kids and husband. We should not have to spend every day with mom and make time for ourselves also.

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You are doing the right thing. Your sister probably feels guilty and is trying to push guilt on you. Keep doing what you are doing. You can't change her. Take care of your mom the way you are and keep taking care of your family. Try to detach from your sister's comments. If you must answer them, just say something like, "Well, we each have to help mom the way we feel is best. I'm doing it the way that works for us all."

I know it's hard to take unearned criticism, but it's not unusual.
Hang in.


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