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yeah I just called a support group today to go to I don't know whether she would be interested in doing that or not and answer the second question I have told her how I feel and she doesn't feel like she's doing anything she says I don't know that I'm shaking my head and sighing and and everything else that she's doing I don't realize I'm doing it is what she says
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Ok. Well. That's interesting. So she didn't deny it, or tell you not to be silly, or any of the other defensive things that your typical narcissist/bully might say? This is good! If you tell her *you* would find it helpful if she could go with you to a support group, do you think she might bite? A happier atmosphere would be good news for both of you. Best of luck, please update.
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Country Mouse I really appreciate your comments and your input but I gotta feeling that if I ask my mother to go to therapy or support group with me that it would make her feel bad that I had to do something like this because of her and in her twilight years I don't want to make her any more upset than she already is with me at home so I think I'm going to just go the route and try to deal with this on my own unless it's suggested by the professionals that it would benefit me I'm doing this for me not for her so but if I tell her that I don't think it would be that positive for her so I appreciate the input and I will keep that in my mind
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You know her better than I do! - and I completely understand that you'd want to go gently with any efforts to change her outlook at this time of her life. Whatever works best for you, I'm just glad you are doing something to take care of yourself. Best of luck with it, come back and vent if things are getting you down (this is such a nice safe space for it), and do update.
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Mike you might find that going to therapy yourself might be productive. It must be so very frustrating to be doing your best and not have your efforts appreciated!

Is this how your mom treated your dad? It might be a very bad habit she's gotten into (treating men as incompetent ). It sometimes gets passed down from generation to generation.
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