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Jackie, those that are ill often lash out at the ones that are doing the most. It is a comfort level thing, she feels she can be most honest with you. I saw my Dad being so nasty to my Mom as he went through his final stages of Cancer while being totally charming to the nuses and room mates in the hospital. But she was the only one that he could be honest with. Assess her finances. Make sure her legal documents are in order (POA, Health care directives and proxy, Will, etc) Look into senior housing (low income if necessary) where there may be a few more services and more likely heat/AC and socialization. Call the county office of aging to learn about other services. And you may want to fill in more of your profile here to enlist more ideas from the others on this site. Your Mom's age? Other medical issues? Distance from you? Good luck.
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Oh, about the cold. Long underwear works!
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Yes, she has dementia. Yes she is depressed and NEEDS to take antidepressants. My mother is cold in the summertime when the ambient temperture in her AL apartment is in the high 80s--with a sweater on. None of this is your fault.

The fact that your mother is "taking this out of you" is not due to her CHF, it's due to her dementia, i.e., her inability to reason. You and your brother need to be on the same page about treatment for her various ills.

Can you get her to a geriatric psychiatrist? And let her do the talking? This will get you a better diagnosis and a better plan for meds. You don't ask if she wants to take antidepressants. You just give them to her with her BP pills.
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Yes, she is depressed but did not want anti-depressants. Her physical therapist said she had early dementia. No doctor ever said so but then she doesn't speak at doctor's office. My brother was doing all the talking. She was in nursing home 2 times for fallings, so for rehab only. She has said she wants to go down south and live there where iit is warm, but is afraid. truth is she cant do it alone. I have thout she maybe a little of dementia like mood and anger and forgetting (which is not too bad) but talks all over the place and I lose the conversation string.
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Has your mother been evaluated for depression and dementia? Very few AL places will take medicaid. Does she need to go back to a Nursing Home?
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