Vent Warning! So Dad is living in AL! Hives/Rash is almost all gone! BIG BUT coming!


Awesome Peeps who care for your parents, PNlaws etc. I appreciate you all. I am very Happy Daddy Bear is moved in to his studio apt. Really my awesome Hubs did it all as I was in pain with hives/rash thingy, fatigued, seeing several Docs to figure it out. Dermatologist took one look two weeks ago stating a bit freaked out sounding YOU Should be in the hospital for wound care! WTF! I knew I looked bad as I scared one lil girl in the waiting room at the Allergist who said loudly Daddy what happened to that Lady's face, arms and legs! I laughed out loud. Any who after I had this amazing cream and Dad was out a week it was going away which is awesome. I look like I had a dermabrasion done on my face, my arms and legs look like I am an alligator but not peeling, just think skinned and purpily I will take that look over looking like a leper or cast member for the walking dead for the past three months. About Dad, I am fine when hubs runs over and deals with his needs. I answer his no less than 5 and well over 10 calls a day! One daughter said well that is great mom you have all this time now and Gpa is being taken care of. Sure as I answer yet another call and have piles of paper work and bookkeeping to do still as I am the Large Marge in Charge regarding all of Dads legal/ will /trust and money stuff. YUP It grieves me the only time I will have total peace is when Dad is with Mom. We sell the house, settle the trust and I can shut the door and walk away from it all! At times I feel badly for thinking/feeling this way but it is true. Because everyone else gets to go back to their lives after a visit or family 3 day reunion, me the hits keep going on and on. Anyone else feel this way at times. I love my Dad with all my heart he is my Daddy Bear and I am his Goldie, yet I am so freaking exhausted. I want my life back to what ever it will be now three years later of course. Hugs and thanks for being a non judgmental group of awesomeness. BB



I know how you feel. I am the oldest of four. My sister passed 20 yrs ago so I have two younger brothers, one living 8 hrs away. So its always been me. Moms gone and still dealing with a house that is falling down and a disabled nephew that she felt she should allow to move in when he turned 18. My brother had raised him and would have made arrangements in his state for his care. Soooo, I had to help him apply for SSD and Medicaid. Finding services for him. Now working on getting him house for housing so I can shut Moms house down. It needs at least $100k done on it to be livable. The roof is leaking. Bathroom floor about to fall in. I don't have the money to fix it and he can't live there much longer.

Dad is in an assisted living apartment and doing pretty well. Except for the numerous phone calls. He is basically ok. We had his meds taken over as he is not able to do them but needed him to see he couldn't do it any more. Hubs runs over any time he needs help which saves me from an outbreak from the hives. I am now starting to see if he leaves a message or they call me cuz he has fallen. It is still somewhat of a nightmare but doable now that he doesn't live with us. My sister is willing to take the brunt over as she is afraid I will leave without a forwarding address. :)
We leave soon for a month of respite. My sis is willing to do the month I am away. She truly is afraid I will drop out of sight and doesn't want the responsibility of the money or his dr appts. LOL So for the first time in ages I am not feeling overwhelmingly depressed or breaking out in a horrid rash. Hubs is amazing and I am so thankful.
I wish you the very best

BBC, you sound like an awesome, powerful woman. Put some more boundaries up and you will be the BOSS!

BB, is your dad living with you in a separate apt?

5 to 10 calls a day is unreasonable. Call him once in the AM and once in the PM. Do not pick up the phone in between. Let it go to voicemail, which you can screen.

BB, some days you could only answer some of the calls.... Can't help you with the paperwork; my wonderful younger hubby does all ours!  BTW, as you basically said, nothing is forever...