Using life long habits, routine, and muscle memory to provide her direction rather than instructing her on tasks. Is there any real research about this approach?

My mother loved to take a ride and restaurants too.

LRH I understand and agree, it's very hard to strike that balance between not barking orders and/but making sure things get done properly. I'm not sure quoting learned journals at them will help, though; but what definitely should help is if you can say "this way works for Mom." Any caregiver worth her/his salt will be happy to go with the flow.

I always add a pretty please with sugar on it, especially in medical settings. I also try to remember that an experienced, good caregiver may well have tips of the trade I haven't seen before…!

I think you should be insistent. Don't get stroppy, always smile and "pat the goldfish," but in the end what choice do we have? - when it comes to choosing between being Little Miss Nice or having a comfortable parent. No option, really, is there?

Muscle memory is related to such terms as motor learning, body memory and cellular memory, though each means something slightly different. The basic hypothesis for all of them is that the physical body retains a memory of what the mind experiences and the mind, or brain and nervous system, retain a memory of what the body experiences.

Most people have heard that once you learn to ride a bicycle you never forget, even if you haven’t ridden one in years. You may have a bit of a shaky start, but within a few minutes, those once idle neurons will reconnect and start firing. Once again, rider and bicycle will become as one and go merrily on their way.

If muscle memory did not exist, we would probably have to relearn our basic experiences every day.

Muscle memory and the mind/body connection is realized when a person no longer has to think about what is being done, the body and mind go on a kind of automatic drive. The physical aspects are the easiest to understand. They are experienced on a daily basis.