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Upon returning to my mothers house from Mexico a few things began to bubble up. My sisters had said that they would care for mom while I was on vacation, then just before the flight they both backed out thinking I would have to cancel. Much of my reason for leaving was to force them to step up and care for mom but they decided that they would find my daughter and have her stay here. My daughter has had a crystal meth addiction for years. Last summer she had a brain aneurysm due to meth. She was a jane doe in a coma for 18 days until she woke up and gave the nurses, my sister ( C ) and my phone numbers. I was prepared for brain damage but she did not seem to have any. That was in July and my vacation was in Sept. Like my other family members, I thought that surely after a brain bleed she had quit the drugs. NO she just got better at hiding it. So when I came back, she had my room. I had to pay $200 a month to sleep on a foam pad in the kitchen because no one lives with mom for free ( Look up my post from 2014 called ""A single female is always the one who moves in to care for Mom, they all say "You live there for free'."" ) My daughter ( L ) was being paid $100 a week cash. My sisters absolutely HATE me because I abandoned them to have to care for mom. In late April I realized that my daughter was using again. Her face was a mess of meth sores. She was taking moms car to buy drugs and she was picking up men at 2am at strip clubs because they were too drunk to drive and bringing them here for a bootie call...... lots of men who were all ex cons. (L) was high as a kite on the nights she had drugs and a screaming angry addict when she didn't have drugs. My sisters came to her rescue and told me to get the F out and go back to Mexico because the entire family hates me for abandoning mom in Sept. They refused to even say that my daughter's behavior was wrong. They said they did not care what (L) did and this was all my fault. They did agree that since L had no license that she should give mom back the car keys. Then I got my ipad set up on one of those nights when I knew (L) was going to get paid. The keys were on top of her purse in her room so I put them back in moms purse and when she went to buy her drugs there were no keys and I had hidden moms purse. This time I videoed the crazy screaming fit and showed my sisters. (L) moved out and my sisters still say "our family has been destroyed by you" The sister that I wrote about in my "Live here for free" post that I loved so much has become vicious because mom found out she was spending moms money at casino atms and that seems to be my fault because I explained what those atm charges were on her statement rather then lie to mom. So now I am taking care of mom and my sisters say they cannot visit mom because of covid19. Mom 's health is getting much worse and she has days where she just sleeps and only wakes to smoke, eat or potty. I have told my sisters that her clock is running down but their response is " I hope you are arrested when they see how little she weighs" Mom has a terminal condition like HIV though not contagious, it wastes the body to nothing. It is called Pulmonary Cachexia and is common with stage 4 COPD. I am right back where I was to begin with.

Nemo, Thank you so much for your kind words. Ajijic is still there although the entire Lake Chapala area is in lock down until they are sure that this virus is extinquished. That will probably be when there is a vaccine. A town that completely depends on the income and support of 20 to 30 thousand retired seniors has to be vigilant. The community is staying strong thru facebook posts and updates. The younger healthy locals have designed a fantastic delivery system so that you do not have to go out for anything. All hot dinners from local chefs restaurants with margaritas to go. Here in my fav restaurant there. Notice the rating says $$$ ( expensive) and right below that the prices are $3 to $9 dollars. Seriously that is the price at a gourmet restaurant in Ajijc.
https://www.tripadvisor.com/Restaurant_Review-g499405-d8743815-Reviews-Blue_Rose_Bistro-Ajijic.html.
These seniors are so socially tied to each other that many are having group skype type dinners. They can see each other enjoy their meals and chat for an hour or so a day. I will be there someday and hopefully people will be able to travel because I do so want to have a caregivers retreat. All of the wonderful fun things are still there but it may be a while before they do large house parties at Jerry Browns. He owns Jerry Brown's travel blog and is telling folks that they have to give Ajijic time to recover and become its vibrant self again. Yes , like you , I never realized how dysfunctional my family was until my favorite younger sister's plan to cash out my mom's checking account was discovered. She had made herself the co-owner of moms checking account in 2006 when mom moved to behind my duplex. But she lead my 77 year old mom to think that she was only a co signer. All of these years she has told herself that she would get the balance the moment mom breathed her last breath, all to herself. She was counting on that money to pay off credit card bills. It had always held a balance of over 25K. Once mom saw the atms withdrawals she wanted (S) name off the account and was shocked when she went to the bank and found that (S) OWNED her checking account. Mom transfered all of her money into a new account that was in her name only. That was the day when my sister insited that no one could speak to me if they wanted to be in her rich mini mansion life. She did not want anyone in the family to see the bank records. I miss my family sometimes because I loved her kids and I thought they loved me. For now I will stay and care for my mom because if I left my sisters would go to a homeless shelter and find someone to move in here and "care" for our mom because they refuse to have their lives disrupted. That is what they consider "worth the risk" of moms health so they dont have to change a diaper. I cant imagine how they could think that having a trail of drunk excons staying the night in moms home was okay by them. What if one decided to rob or rape mom? The drug addicts are a scary bunch of people. I know the kind of men my daughter is drawn to and you don't want them around your family or kids.
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I remember your post describing your escape to Ajijic. I specifically recall looking up Ajijic on the internet and feeling inspired that perhaps even I might be able to briefly run away some day and teach my sisters a lesson to boot! That is not how it has worked out for me but I am saddened that it didn’t work out for you either. I also understand the heartbreak of having a family member with drug addiction. It’s devastating and just keeps breaking your heart over and over. There’s no easy answer but I want you to know I read and remembered your posts. I’m sorry for all that you have been through and continue to endure. I pray things get better for you. Me? I take comfort in knowing my caregiving days won’t last forever but there is no comfort in witnessing the hatefulness and dysfunction that has surfaced in my family. I realize now that it was always there and my parents decline just spotlighted the issues. I don’t believe there’s any coming back from it though, and my life has forever changed. Hugs to you, NavyMom, and here’s to better days for all of us that need them!
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