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Good morning, all.
Well, mom and I went to see her primary care dr yesterday... Seems her unbalanced gait is part of the progression of the dementia. I told him I would like to know what kind she has and he referred me to a neurologist who's been with the clinic forever. We are going on March 3.
In the meantime, he kept suggesting ALF. Mom's eyes got big like saucers when she heard the response to her question, "What's that?"
She looked at me and that look of "OH NO YOU WON'T DON'T EVEN THINK IT" came over her face, then she looked at the doctor and said, "that's not going to happen. I will just sell the house and move." Then she smiled at him.
He looked at me, I rolled my eyes, and I said well we'll try to keep her in the house as long as we can, maybe get a companion or something (this is a two-fold reason on my part for not wanting ALF: It's very costly and she does NOT want it. So ok, it has to cost less for a companion to come in a couple of hours a day, right? I mean like I said, while her dementia is entering the moderate stage, we are still looking at a woman who can make homemade meatballs with sauce, do her dishes, make her bed, wash herself, put her earrings and lipstick on, read her magazines, and comment about Judge Judy. The dr said that is because her long-term memory is SHARP but the short-term is disappearing.
His worry is a fall that could break a hip because we all know it's common knowledge once that happens at 90, you are pretty much done...
And I know a part-time companion can't help a fall if they are not there.
I am going into her house this coming week to remove all small carpet mats and rugs which are all over the house. I am going to remove 5 of the 7 dog beds strewn about for the dog. I am going to look for one large area rug for her two main living areas. (the rest are carpeted. Bella is sure to pee on all of them, but it's ok I'll buy cheap just to get them down because it's a safety issue and no doubt will look better than 8 pee stained little rugs throughout the house. Her tile is that big white slippery gloss tile. I hate it. It's shiny and slippery. So we will cover it up a bit.
In the meantime, I would like to know what kind of dementia she has, so I can better understand it myself.
I want to know where we are at; she and I, so I can prepare.
The doctor did tell mom these places are not like the old smelly nursing homes anymore; they are freaking RESORTS. And being in Florida I have seen the outside of some of them and I would have to agree. I'd like to go hide for a vacation in one myself sometimes! lol
So we will see what this neurologist says on March 3.
Meantime, today mom is awakening in her home across the street as I type this. Bella wakes her same time every morning at 8:15. She will cook herself two eggs, coffee, and peanut butter toast, and then will get washed up and dressed for garage sales with me.
I want to keep these memories good for her as long as I can.
I do not like being in the middle like this. I am POA but still...there has to be a better way. I am going to wait to see more decline in the brain functionality before pushing for ALF... at that time frame when it comes it will be more like memory care anyhow...
Thank you for supporting me here on this site. It is really a lifesaver for me.

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Whistle won't help - I live out in the middle of fields and forest
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I bought some of those rubbery puzzle-like flooring at Sam's Club. They come in packs of 21 squares. Each square is about 20" on a side. You can put them together in whatever shape you need. They don't slide about easily and they are easy to walk on. The nice thing is they also can be wiped off. They don't absorb liquid. They make the floor warmer feeling, too. I bought them for my rabbit, but liked them so much that I bought more for the hallway. They're softer than the hardwood floor, so maybe they'll provide some cushion if my mother falls there.

I found these colorful squares in the office section of Sam's the last time I went. They are so useful.
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I do have one but it is very easy to set off accidentally so I don't use it. Instead I carry a whistle and a house key on my person at all times
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My grandma had green furry things in her frig yet she lived into her 80s and grandpa into his 90s I think, When grandma passed my mother wouldn't lift a finger to help grandpa so her brother took him into his home (next door to my folks' house) and they never spoke again ... totally dysfunctional family.

Nikki you could get chocolate coloured carpet then the pee stains won't show. My mother's little dog Sue peed all over on cream carpets, ugh. Sue lives with me now and, almost 5, is pretty much house clean.

With respect to something like life alert, my mother had something similar but wouldn't wear it and never knew where it was. The company would call her at 8 a.m. every day and if she didn't answer/reset they'd send emergency services. Many nice summer mornings she'd take Sue to the park and return to find her house surrounded by cops, fire and EMS ... OMG! Close to 65 and living alone with my dogs way out in the country I'm considering getting one for myself as a safety precaution.
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brilliant of you to be so proactive about fall hazards , nikki. i screwed about a 2-1/2 inch sapling into the wall during mothers last days because she said she nearly fell into the bathtub once. common sense doesnt have to be expensive.
when her mobility gets bad, hospice can provide a bedside comode. these sit overtop an existing toilet nowdays to provide a little extra seat height and arm rails. youre going to do a great job, im sure of it.
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You may want to consider a life alert type gadget. I recently checked on them, there re choices, some offer no contract, one had a 30 day money back guarantee.
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OH PULEEZ Ashlynne. I am thinking W...TF..... !!! It was really smoking! Like there were these poisons ELUDING from it! I smelled it on my hands all night after pushing it down the garbage disposal, to which she responded, "oh NOOO! Don't DO that! It will get STUCK!!" You gotta laugh sometimes. Found Cool Whip in there this week with mold starting... said ma you gotta throw this away! She said, oh no, I'll pick off the green part. It's whipped cream! ugh.... I'll sneak it into the garbage when I go over next time..
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Nikki, God bless you, you're doing all you can. I'm sure it wasn't funny at the time but the smoking ziti really made me chuckle.
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Thanks both Veronica and assandache (cute name) you both have good points. But with mom falling in ALF.... not so likely.... you haven't seen her house! It's pretty crowded with her decor... that's my worry.. so for now I will try (and I emphasize that word) to make space in there, at least walking space for her. And yes, I am checking on her daily, taking her out... at least she is close enough where I wouldn't have to get into a car and drive to do it every day... that would add more pressure. So we'll see.
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Imo As long as you are checking on her daily she's fine for now.

Here's your chance to remind her that if she continues her compulsive shopping that the DR will definitely see that she goes in a NH! LOL
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All I can say is that Mom is just as likely to fall in ALF as at home
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Also I did tell the doctor that I found some really moldy ziti in a pyrex covered dish in mom's fridge....when I went to throw it down the disposal it SMOKED with a fog over it... gross - but then in her defense I said, 'well I'm sure I have rotten food in my fridge too.....' (I don't, but..) and he said, 'yes, but the difference is you take it out.'
Looks like I will be cleaning out her fridge this weekend.
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