Sorry that I can’t figure out how to append this to the previous Q&A.

Mom helped fill out the intake paperwork and went to the evaluation. Psychiatric PA was very kind and helpful, and Mom was cooperative, but Mom scored in the minor neurocognitive disorder range on the SLUMS evaluation, so psychiatrist wouldn’t write a letter declaring her incompetent (I understand why and don’t blame them). Mom’s performance was amazing to me, all my siblings, and the realtor working on her house sale, but I am pretty sure it was her best day in months. The PA reviewed a CT scan from an ER visit in early May, which showed some brain shrinkage and blood vessel restriction (ischemia?); they felt the cause of her cognitive decline was vascular.

Mom finalized sale of her house a day later (I was on an airplane going home), closed on it days later, and we were all celebrating until she took the check to the bank and couldn’t deposit it because it’s made out to her trust and she never set up a trust account. The bank wouldn’t open a new account in the trust’s name (I am not sure why, as I wasn’t there), but advised her to go back to a lawyer. Her trust is self-written and possibly not legal, although she told me long ago, she’d had a lawyer review it. Meantime she is holding the check, which scares me because she organizes things repeatedly and forgets where she puts things. She called me in tears claiming my brother had taken the check and asking me to help her get it back. She had put it in a folder and forgotten it, then claimed my brother replaced it there when he showed it to her. She obsesses over money, doesn’t realize she can’t call people and have them do her bidding immediately (on weekends and holidays), and even called the realtor and accused him of giving her a bad check because she couldn’t deposit it.

Although I was glad, she scored well on the psychiatric evaluation, it seems obvious to me and others that she does have dementia. But how to get it confirmed when she’s “passed” not one, but two evaluations done by different medical personnel??? Her anxiety and behavior are hurting her as well as all her children.

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She self-wrote a trust? After having created a trust with my husband, that's something I cannot imagine anyone but a lawyer doing. She needs to find the original paperwork. I don't think lawyers are responsible for saving copies of client's documents (mine sure didn't, but it was 10 years later).

Our trust is in a 3-ring binder - that's how many pages there are. I think she needs to talk to a Trust bank where they're familiar with these types of issues.

She is experiencing memory impairment and paranoia, which are part of dementia -- unless your Mom has a history of mental illness. With all the testing she's already had, more right now probably won't prove anything. People at the beginnings of dementia certainly have better days than others, although no one can predict it. If I was to take my LO for cognitive test, I'd make sure the appointment was in the late afternoon, which is usually the time of day they are "least" good.

So sorry for your family's distressing situation!

Wow - this is a lot of crazy stuff with the check and the "trust" etc. Yikes! She is obviously having some cognitive issues. It's a bummer when they are having a good day and show timing and this is the face that doctor's see. Not the one freaking out about the check and falsely accusing her son of taking it, etc. This dementia ride is definitely a roller coaster.

So I guess enacting her POA will have to wait a bit. I assume that you and your siblings are treating these situations and your interactions with her as if she is somewhat incompetent? As in, not being surprised by her lack of ability to handle these financial things? I'm assuming she does not want to turn over any control? Or will she accept "help"?

Sorry for your tough situation. Best of luck

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