It’s been a while since I posted. I’ve been busy trying to work things out here, and trying to take care of myself and my health as this living situation has been a nightmare. I do have an update. And please don’t judge, I feel bad enough as it is how things have turned out.
I’m unable to get these two out as was recommended here, because my mother took my name off of the house, and so far she refuses to put my name back on the house (both of our names have been on the house up until 4 years ago). It’s a very long story, and I’m not sure if it makes a difference to tell the whole story (?)
I put all all of my time, energy, money, and resources into this house. Her companion has been here almost the entire time. He is a mess, he’s verbally and emotionally abusive, showers once every 1-2 weeks (see my first post a few months ago for more info). Every year she tells me she will get rid of him in one year’s time. I’ve been hearing that for 30 years now. He is legally disabled and handicapped, he has many health problems, he is on many medications.
I’ve lost 30 years that I’ll never get back, I’ve run out of money and resources, I’ve lost most of my friends, relationships, and I’ve run out of options. My mother has turned my entire family against me, and she blames me for everything she’s done wrong in life.
I’ve wanted to leave this situation many times, even though I’ve put everything into this house, but my mother is very manipulative and cunning. She’s managed to block my every exit via very serious threats. She has a lot of friends and allies.
Since I’ve lost pretty much everybody and she’s turned my entire family against me, I have nowhere to go. And I have multiple senior dogs, so I can’t rent in most areas. I have considered buying an inexpensive camper van/van conversion, or travel trailer. Someone suggested that here, and I’ve heard it elsewhere. That way I could travel and live fairly comfortably AND take my dogs with me. I found several possibilities and I have a handyman who will help me. I’ve seen pictures on Instagram of traveling nurses living very happily and comfortably with their multiple pets in travel trailers. I told my mother about my idea. She threatened me again, said if I left her “alone” here, she’d sell the house and move into a senior apartment, and whatever was left over, she’d put into the trust. Which is sad, because this is a beautiful house, it’s always been my dream house, all of the renovations and upgrades and solar have been made. And it’s paid for. It’s my only nest egg after tolerating YEARS of this BS! I’ve been denied a normal life because of these two, and it’s NOT for lack of trying. The entire family has ganged up on me. Nobody has helped me ever, my family makes fun of me, calls me names, talks behind my back. I’ve tried everything to make my brothers share responsibilities because I am EXHAUSTED, and so far nothing has worked.
I have begged her to put my name back on the house, so far she refuses. I don’t want her to sell the house, and I see my brothers circling like vultures wanting it, so I need my name put back ASAP. She spent thousands of dollars building a tiny house for her companion in the back yard in order to keep him living here, and she blames me for that, even though HE wanted it built. So now she owes money and is in debt AGAIN and threatens me to pay for it if she gets rid of him.
I don’t want to spend the rest of what’s left of my life living in this situation, and caregiving for her AND HIM (whether it’s emotionally, physically, ER visits, cooking for her and him, reminding them, problem solving, entertaining her, helping her with her health issues, etc). But the latest threats of selling this beautiful house (which she paid off with her ex husband’s money and her parents’ inheritance) if I take my dogs and leave, either temporarily for an extended vacation, or permanently for my own sanity and peace, is sad. And I would lose everything, including all of my investment over the 30 years. She’s been dangling this over my head. And I have no one to talk to about it anymore. Meanwhile my aunt has been texting my mother all kinds of ways to torment me even more, and make my life worse.
I don’t have much money left. Everything I had I put into this house (and now she’s asking for receipts, when a large part of it was giving her cash for whatever she needed). I barely have a small amount for medical emergencies, veterinary emergencies, and a small amount for a used camper van or similar. The van conversion is my only way out now. But she won’t let me leave in peace without more piles of legal threats, stalling, the family ganging up on me and threatening to take the house from me when they’ve done NOTHING to help. She refuses to pay me back my share of what I put in, and she refuses to pay for all the caregiving off and on all of these years. I’ve asked.