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Anyone in need of using a soft padded belt to ~temporarily~ keep their loved one from trying to get up and falling from out of a chair should do an eBay search for "NEW SKIL CARE CUSHION BELT 301200 size UNIVERSAL". There are times (such as bathroom breaks) where we simply cannot be with them every single second. A padded belt can come in handy during those times.
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I am going through sibling troubles myself. My sister... wow, makes your seem like a support group! She says I should be in jail (I have cared for both my parents for almost 2 years now... not ONE hour during that time have my siblings cared for them... NEVER.) Said she was coming to do an 'intervention' on me... ??? As she says I am just taking advantage of them. (Trust me, having a regular job with regular hours would be far easier than this!!) My mom has severe dementia, that I supposedly caused. She is on O2, diabetes, diverticulitis, sleep apnea, sleeping disorders, etc etc. My dad is 87, but mentally he is ok, just slower now and not as quick to process things, etc. He LOVES having me here as he KNOWS he can't handle my mom for more than an hour at a time and that is pushing it. He gets stressed out FAST! My sister says my mom should just be taken off ALL meds and she would be fine. That all nurses and doctors should go to prison (I worked for many years as a charge nurse in nursing homes.) She HATES me now.... I don't know why. She lives in Alaska, we are in Iowa. She came to Iowa last Wed... is still here. During the last week and has been staying at my brothers house 15 minutes away... and has been here 2 times for a total of 2 hours. That is an improvement over last year when she left her husband for over 6 months and was at my brothers (15 minutes away) for over a MONTH before she even came to see them... and then for about 45 minutes and left again. During the 6 months she spent a total of 3 hours with them in 3 visits... one of those was for 15 minutes while she used my dad's computer to check her itinerary online and shampoo'd her hair!

I am the youngest of 5 kids.... NO ONE helps. NO one. Yet I am the bad guy. I have put my entire life on hold, gave up all social activities, job/career, etc for this, but I should be in prison?? I don't get paid to do this. I do this out of love. That is all. I just don't get siblings!
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Isn't it amazing that some people have all the answers but no hands on experience! You are doing a wonderful job caring for mom. My response would be, "I would be more than happy to sit by mom's side all day if you hire and pay for a staff to do the cooking, cleaning, and grocery shopping." Then send her literature on a business that provides these services along with literature on all the responsibilities involved in elder care.
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Your comments here have already helped me feel alot better about my so-called inadequacies. Two years ago Mom signed over her house to me in exchange for my long-term caregiving, and I was afraid this sister might go to court to contest that since she doesn't feel I am "doing my job". Ugh!! I will definitely stand my ground now, knowing it isn't "just me". Sometimes it's hard to have perspective when you're in the middle of the storm... and my friends on here contribute a much-clearer perspective.
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LindaMS is absolutely on target! Old people fall. Old people with impairments fall more often. It is what they do.

I'll bet you'd love to sit by your mother's side all day. All you need is a staff to run the household while you are doing that. Someone to cook, clean, set up medical appointments, pay bills, etc. Oh, and someone to take over the sitting job when you go to the bathroom or take a shower.

If Youngest Sister really wants to learn about caregiving the elderly and the common risk factors, there are many ways she can get educated. If she just wants to criticize you, I think you should gently and firmly disengage from that conversation.
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Wow, your sister needs a reality check! perhaps suggest she go visit a nursing home in her area and speak to the staff, or talk to her doctor, and find out that unfortunately, old people with health issues are prone to falls. Its just a fact of again, and not always preventable. You cannot bubble wrap people, honey, sorry about that.

We call that the "Daughter from (insert name of distant city here) Syndrome". They know EVERYTHING you should do, and will tell you, from a distance. The only time they are ever *smarter* is when they parachute into your life for a few days once every few months/years, in which case they can be even more bossy.

There is no such thing as perfect caregiving for the elderly/infirm, since the dynamics change continually. And, I am sorry to point this out, but the fact of the matter is that unlike child-rearing, where they grow up and flourish, in this case, the situation is not going to get better (until it is over, that is). There is no happy ending. We are just doing the best we can, with quick sand under our feet.

Tell your sister that if she wants your mom under constant supervision, and totally safe, that she will have to be sedated 24/7 and kept in bed. If you want Mom to be as mobile as she wants to be, it would cost thousands of dollars to hire enough staff to have someone on either side of her at all times to catch her if she falls. Its a tough thing to wrap your brain around, but you cant protect them from everything, and bad stuff happens.
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