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I have recently gotten some comments on questions i had while my grandmother was still with me. She passed on Jan. 10, 2023 at 3:35pm. The last time she spoke was about a week prior. I was talking about random things, and at the end i said “i love you”. Her eyes lit up and she said “oh i love you too”. I had wondered if she was understanding me, or if my miscellaneous tangent was in vain, but indeed she was listening :) In her last days, it was hard for me to tell when she was awake or asleep, and i do admit i spent less time with her as i did cleaning the house and such. I regret it immensely. I wish i had spent every moment holding her hand, talking about memories we shared, singing our special song, but for some reason all of these thoughts just escaped me when i was sitting with her. All i could think was how sorry i felt that the woman who i had so many years with, couldn’t speak or close her own eyelids. I would swab her mouth with lemon swabs dipped in ice water, comb her hair and massage her hands with lotion. I really couldn’t find much to talk about, so i sat with her and watched tv and held her hand. One of the last movies we watched was Burlesque, which she showed me and what began my love of Cher, which we shared. She lived with untreated breast cancer for nine years. Her nurse said that was one of the longest journeys she had come across, as it didn’t physically affect her until three months before her death with weight loss and a limp as it spread to her bones. The nurse also mentioned that she was the only cancer patient she had seen (who had it so long) whose cancerous areas hadn’t opened up to sores. This was due to her constant lotioning and application of vaseline. My grandmother also introduced me to putting on lotion after every shower, which inspired a love of skin care to me. Her nurses said they tell their other patients to apply vaseline to their affected areas. My grandmother’s name was Lillian Kelly Sims, the only difference in our names being the middle. She loved to decorate, and made every house she moved into a beautiful creation of her own. She took meticulous care of all her possessions, wiping the hotplate of her coffee pot every time she poured a cup, keeping it from rusting. She and my grandfather owned a pipeline company called “Maverick Pipeline Services Inc.” They made so much merchandise with the name and label printed on it such as letter openers, coffee mugs and notebooks. I am lucky enough to have at least one of each of these. My grandfather always told her (based on a song i believe) that he would love her forever and a day. My grandfather would drive seven hours to come pick me up just so i could see my granny for a weekend. When i was young, she would sit in the backseat with me because i couldn’t stand to be out of her arm’s reach. When i got too big to be picked up by her, she had told me one day that she didn’t have the confidence to pick me up, and i told her she could borrow some of mine. She loved to tell that story. She and my papaw had a mizpah coin, with their names on one side and on the other, a verse something along the lines of “the Lord watch between me and thee, when we are absent one from another.” My papaw was buried with his half, and i will wear her half until she is buried with him. From the time i was two weeks old, she called me “girlfriend”. Many of my family members didn’t even know my real name. The day she passed, she could not speak. I read her a religious joke that she got in the mail. I didn’t know she was about to leave, but her eyes began to water, she blinked and turned her head towards her doorway. I told her that i loved her, that i would be okay and that if papaw was here, she should go with him, because he was going to take her somewhere nice. Within five minutes, i watched her take her last breath. I am so proud now to have my grandmother’s name. I got to spend her birthday, Christmas and New Years with her. I will miss her forever and a day.

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My goodness!!!! What a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing. That is wonderful that you were there for your grandmother in her final moments.
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So much love and care, that brought me to tears. Beautiful memories from someone who was well loved. Thank you for sharing that. May her memory continue to be a blessing as you navigate life with her in your heart. Peace.
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(((((((((((Hugs))))))))))
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I am so sorry for your loss. My oldest was close to my parents. We lived in her home for a year. After that she was dropped off at Moms to get the bus to school and the bus dropped her off after school. Mom had her on school holidays when I worked and Summers. My daughter just posted on FB that someone had reminded her how great her grandmom was. I did not have that growing up. Moms parents were gone, Dads had their favorites. His parents were not the huggy, kissy type. You are one lucky woman.

Please do not feel guilty about the times you were cleaning and cooking. In times like this, that helps us get thru, keeping busy.
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That was beautifully written and clear on how much you loved your grandmother and she you. It brought tears to my eyes.
You both were blessed beyond measure to have shared such a special bond, and you will treasure the memories of her for many years to come.
May God bless you and keep as you now travel down this road called grief.
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What a beautiful tribute to your grandmother. Thank you for sharing.
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Lillian,

I completely understand. We all need time for ourselves and it wasn’t necessary or important to post on the forum during your grandmother’s final days.

I am glad that your mom came in from Texas to help. It’s nice that you weren’t alone at the end.

I adored my grandmother and grandfather. They were very special to me.

After my grandmother died, I found myself dialing her phone number to chat and invite her over for dinner. Halfway through dialing her number, I would realize that she was gone.

I have a million wonderful memories of my grandparents that I will cherish forever. She lived long enough to see me get married. She died before my children were born but she knew my brother’s kids. She loved children.

I enjoyed reading about the special times that you shared with your grandparents.
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Thank you so much :) I try not to have regrets as i now know the job of a caregiver is a taxing one. And thats true that i was prepared for the end, but i didn’t expect how hard it has been still. I thought i may feel relieved that she was finally at rest, but i definitely find myself walking back to her room out of the habit of checking on her. Absolutely wish i could take care of her for just one more day, but i know she had a beautiful 87 years and i know there was a lot of love between us. I’ll definitely continue to be active on the forum because i love seeing these familiar names and this is just such a wonderful community of people to be a part of :)
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I didn’t post much when it got a little harder, and my mom came from Texas to help out, so I spent my down time with her :) I honestly think i would have been lost if I didn’t join this forum when I did!! Everyone had been so supportive, especially you!! I love to see all these familiar names and i really hope that i can help someone out the way you guys all helped me someday!
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What a beautiful story, Lillian, and what beautiful memories you have of your grandmother. Thank you for sharing it with us.
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Lillian,

I posted earlier but I would like to add that you are very welcome to stick around on the forum and help others who are caring for parents and grandparents.

I am truly sorry for your loss. I hope that you are at peace knowing that your grandmother is out of pain and at peace. You did a beautiful job of caring for her.
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lilliansims,
Thank you for sharing your beautiful story.
You and your Grandmother were so blessed to have each other.
You loved each other so much~
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Well, hello again neighbor…even though you are in the northern part of our state and I am in the southern part of Louisiana.

I have thought of you since you first posted and hoped that you were at peace during this difficult time in your life.

I absolutely believe that your grandmother knew just how much you loved her. You were blessed to have such a loving and warm relationship with your grandparents.

No doubt, your grandmother was truly blessed to have you in her life.

You will always miss your grandparents but you have wonderful memories of them to cherish in your heart forever.

Take time to grieve this tremendous loss in your life. Your sadness will one day lessen and you will find joy again.
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*big big hugs*

Thank you so much for sharing this. <3
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Great big warm hug!

The love you shared with your grandma and papaw is a beautiful testimony to who they were as people.

May The Lord give you peace, comfort and strength until you join them again.
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