Transition: moving mom to my city and a new house.
Please give any tips and experience about moving a widowed and elderly parent. All stories, all angles appreciated. I have to run now, but want to open the topic for advice. thank you-
-She's 93 and somewhat confused most of the time. sometimes she likes the idea, sometimes she doesn't.
-I'm an only child, 56 years old, divorced, with an 11-yr old boy. I simply cannot stretch myself between 2 towns anymore. We are her only family and she need to be near us in her last years.
- I am renovating a house just a few doors away from us where she will live. My goal is to get her here by this Christmas.
- She currently has a daytime and an evening companion. We will set up the same schedule here after the move with new people, but I will be spending a good bit of time with her too.
My biggest challenge at the moment is keeping her excited or at least positive about her new life with us. My father died about 2 1/2 years ago. the first year, she didn't want to consider it. the second year, I had gotten her liking the idea of a nice senior apartment complex near us, but she would miss having her own porch, yard, etc. Last spring a house 2 doors down from me came up for sale and she loved the idea. We decided to make this happen, but the moment it became definite, she started getting cold feet. The situation is actually perfect for her, and her excuses are mostly just excuses because I know she's scared of the change.
There are plenty of pros to this move: a safer, prettier neighborhood, wonderful neighbors, a selection of lovely churches in walking distance, her grandson and me visiting daily, etc etc etc... as well as a few real cons, like finding a new doctor (she loves her old one), the fact that father's grave will still be in the old town (she does not travel well and visiting it probably won't happen any more).
I have solutions for just about all of the potential problems, but we just have to get her here with little trauma.
My biggest concern is her personality. She has always been a martyr, a worrier, negative, reclusive, full of self-pity. (I do love her though it may not sound like it!) I'm concerned that her narrow and negative outlook might affect her physical health before or during the actual move.
I'm looking forward to any and all comments. Thank you-