Follow
Share

I miss my dad and he is still here. I am an only child. I have very little family or support. My dad would hate that he cant remember where he lives or when to go to the bathroom. He is in a medical foster home. He has the best care. He doesn't remember me. He cant walk or read. He needs a diaper. I hats to see him like this.

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Find Care & Housing
Amy, I know what you're going through. My mom was fine. She had the usual forgetting that comes with the aging process...but the suddenly, she became paranoid, hallucinations, the works. I see improvement for a few days, then boom, downward trend again. It is soooo hard. Please be assured that your dad still feels you. Your loving words, your soft touch. Keep it up, you'll never regret it. My ex mother in law passed 3 yrs ago after having Alz for 3 yrs. She was 92 and lost her battle with liver cancer. We were close until I remarried (she wanted me to wait for her cheating son, but I finally made a choice to get over him)....I hadn't seen in in a while, but I went to see her 2 days before she died. She didn't respond to her son, and all she could do was stare at my daughter, but when I walked up to her and took her face into my hands, she moaned. Then a tear came down her face. I told her we were all there (my ex, my only child and myself), again she moaned, but this time it sounded like: HA! (almost like ha, I got you two back together)! Then I thanked her for my daugher. I told her if it had not been for her and grandpa, "Babygirl" wouldn't be here. Her eyes did a quick shift right to my daugher. At that point I knew she was hearing and understanding exactly what I was saying. I told her she lived a good life, and that it was time to sleep. She closed her eyes. I held her, prayed with her, then my daugher and I said our goodbyes. She waited 2 days (one what would have been my 35th anniversary to her son), and passed peacefully. So never underestimate what they understand. Your kindness is going a great source of comfort to your dad. I feel guilty too, but my husband brought out a good point the other day. He said, why is your mom like this? I answered : because of the effects of old age. He asked: Did you cause it? I said : No. He asked: Can you fix it? My answer: No....so he nodded. I knew what he meant, I didn't do this to her, so instead of feel guilty, I have to realize I'm needed. She needs the hugs and the support and the love I'm showing, just like your dad does. Take Care.
(3)
Report

Amy, hugs to you!! You sound like you have a very tender heart. I am sure your Dad can feel the love coming from you even if he does not recognize you or acknowledge that he feels it. Blessing to you both!
(1)
Report

My heart goes out to you! It's frustrating to see our loved one decline, and we can't do much to stop it. Love is our only hope! So keep on loving!
(0)
Report

Thank you so much. I am just having a rough day today.
(0)
Report

Amy, it is very sad to see the people we love become someone we don't recognize.... we greive twice.... first seeing them leave little peices at a time, and then the end.... I hate this disease..... with a passion..... so it's up to us to leave them with some dignity... to above all else let them know they are loved.... they still respond to that.... you will just have to make new memories... ones you can look back on and know you did all you could to let him know he is loved.... sending you hugs...
(1)
Report

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.