Tough Father's Day because guardianship hearing is this week.

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My husband and his brother are taking his dad to court on Friday for our temporary guardianship hearing. Dr's report confirms he needs one and this all came about since his girlfriend took him on vacation and had a secret marriage and didn't tell us about it for 6 weeks until he let it slip. We asked her to sign a post nup and she said no. she then took him to put her on all of his accounts and changed his trust fund to her name. He always told us he wouldn't marry her and in the mental evaluation he said he wasn't married. He doesn't even remember it. She shut of his phone and won't give us the number. She has completely isolated him from his kids and his grandkids. In his interview he said his kids want to take all of his money and put him in a home which I am sure she is telling him that. We asked the attorney if we could talk to him on fathers day and they responded that he is mad and we can send him a letter or a card. This is awful. My kids want to see their grandfather and my husband wants to talk to his dad. Now she is fighting us for full guardianship over him. We can only hope the courts can see the truth of what this woman is doing. I guess no question here but just need some support. I don't know how everyone does it. This AD is devastating to all involved. Thanks for listening.

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This situation is why my husband and I had a trust set up that takes half of our assets and puts them in a family trust for our kids if one of us dies. The surviving spouse only has access to that money if they spend the other half and it's deemed necessary. We're in our 60's and our attorney recommended this. He's seen too many remarriages where the new spouse takes advantage of an older widow or widower with dementia.
I've read enough on this website to know he was right:)
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Goodluck Mojo22!
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Update: went to court for temp hearing and judge decided he didnt want to hear any testimony until the full trial. He did freeze all accounts until the trial and is giving FIL monthly allowance. Also giving us visitation rights and phone number. It was sad to see how much he has deteriorated in the last couple of months. At least we can get in now an evaluate for ourselves the level of care he really needs and wait 3 months for the trial.
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Mojo, do some research on your own. I vaguely remember coming across something on a legal website, within the last year or so, addressing marriage by someone who wasn't capable of making decisions. it might have been another state though.

Still, even if he was allowed to marry, dementia would preclude proper and I believe assumption of legality of documents he might have executed.
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That's what we are hoping to do. However our attorney advised us that marriage is a civil right and even with dementia they are allowed to marry.
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If FIL was not able to make informed decisions at the time of this marriage it should be null and void. Check on getting it annulled after you go to court.
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yes we have a doctors evaluation. says he is need of a conservatorship and guardian. That is def not in question anymore. We already know he can't use a phone. He even turned off his cell phone bc he didn't know how to use it anymore. It's just now if she will win or his 2 sons.
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Hopefully you at least have a doctor's letter stating incompetence, but it doesn't sound like it. Ask the court for an evaluation of him by a doctor of your choosing. Ask for dad to make a call from his cell phone. What else can you ask the court to order that could possibly show his level of incompetence?
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I think she took him to that vacation spot b/c it had memories for him, and she played on those memories. Sounds like she "had her cap set for him" .
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new wife is 68 and works full time. They won't tell us how they met. He can't remember and just says 'we just met" and she won't tell us. Yes he was married before for 47 years and she passed away after a quick battle with cancer. Then he slipped into a depression and started drinking and then the dementia came on quick. He got into a car accident and totaled his car so it was at least easy to have him stop driving. its so frustating. We went from being a family to having this person isolate him from us and there is nothing we can do but wait for court. she took him to the vacation spot that him and his wife went to every year and where he spread his wife's ashes and thats where she had him marry her. such a slap in our faces.
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