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I guess I was having a pity party since nobody in my family calls or emails or texts to see how I am doing with that woman next door. All she did was the same as always. Lay around,take pills,overdose on pills,talk about how sick she is.etc.etc. So my day was just another day in my life. I cooked,cleaned,potted flowers for myself,and just basically felt so lonely. When I went back over there just now she starts telling me "who called you?" anybody call you? I just didnt answer,I had nothing to say to her dumb ass. She is plotting to call 911 in the morning and I am glad today is over now.

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Hi Deb, Happy belated birthday to a kind person who deserves life's best.
I, too, cried on my birthday because a close family member knew it was my birthday, but did not acknowledge it. I am glad you planted flowers. I love them too. I wish i could have taken you go lunch on your special day. What i can and will do, is say a special prayer for you.
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Deb, I'm sorry you are having such a rough time.
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Deb, when it is my birthday, I call it my birthday MONTH.
SO many more days to celebrate, it doesn't matter if anyone
remembers, both the pain and sharing my celebration is
spread out over the month.
After a trip to Trader Joe's for my cake, I'm good.
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRL!!! I soo know what your going thru as I've felt that way for so long too, especially since the guy I take care of is getting more irritating as he gets closer to the end of his life. I do understand that this is hard to face and he may not really mean all that is said, none the less, it has been said. He is also about the only one who offers a small gift to me for my b-day, as my own with 6 siblings, of which 2 txt me H.B.Day, and I don't expect mom to as she has dementia from a stroke, so some days are better than others. I too love gardening, I think its the feeling of goodness in living things, and I gave my granddaughter her first set of sunflower seeds and she and her mom planted them and she was so proud of them growing and looking so pretty. I hadn't realized the extra bonus of the pleasure of sight of those little seeds! May you also know the pleasure your garden brings to others, even when your not looking! Know your thought of daily, even on your special day! Take care and God Bless! mzlinda
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEB!!!
I'm glad you're feeling better. I know how it hurts to be forgotten on your birthday by those family members that are supposed to care for you. I have one adult son, a daughter in law, 6 grandkids, one brother, and of course Mom (but she doesn't count because of her dementia). Not one of them called, texted, or sent me a card for my birthday in March. This is the second year it's been that way. Last year I was terribly hurt, this year I'm just pissed off about it. They all seem to have my number when they need a loan or to borrow my truck, but they couldn't even send me a simple little birthday greeting.
Well, times are a changing!! I guess I know where I rate in their lives. It's time for me to re-evaluate where they rate in my life.
Just like with caregiving, it's amazing how we can get more support from a group of folks on a website than we can with our own families.
Again, Deb Happy Birthday to you and I wish you many more!!
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Happy birthday Deb! :)
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Happy Birthday, Deb!!
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Hee! My husband grew up in Eden Prairie and my father in law and a sister in law and her husband still live there. I get there quite often. We're about 25 miles west of there in a dinky town. :)

So glad to be 'here' for you. You deserve it!
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I really dont know how I would survive without all you. From the bottom of my heart thank you all. I feel so much better now. You all are more family to me than my so called "flesh and blood". Thank you again.((((hugs))).
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Happy birthday, Deb! I planted some today, too! I love gardening and couldn't wait to play in the dirt. I haven't tried sunflowers since I was a kid but I have been thinking about adding some that will give me seeds for eating and a smaller type for cut flowers. Enjoy your new birthday garden!
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deb, your flower boxes sound wonderful... I love digging in the dirt, pulling weeds, making everything look nice... its great exercise, too.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEB :)
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Windytown, My brother and his wife and kids live in eden prairie minnesota. How cool is that?
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That sounds beautiful Deb, I so enjoy flowers and plants of all kinds. Portulacas are so pretty in their bright colors. They remind me of crape paper flowers with their thin petals - so cheery.

So what was for dinner? Wish I could've been there too! It's just starting to rain here in Minnesota so I think I just cancelled my plans to grill. Going to try Trader Joe's frozen Kung Pao chicken with some rice. Not my norm, I like to 'scratch' cook, but I'm getting ready for a garage sale in 10 days. Spent the entire day in the basement sorting through a mountain of boxes of things she wouldn't let me get rid of when she lived with us. I've found boxes of empty boxes. Oh the joy of her hoarding. Yikes!

Okay, now it's hailing. Time to move the pansies under cover!
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Oh and I planted lobelias,sunflowers,vinca vine in pots and the ground and they all are so far doing very well. Of course it had to rain then after I watered them. Oh and some portulaca's. I plant them every year cuz they look so pretty in the flower boxes.
Thank you all for being here for me. I wish you all could of come for dinner I made.
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I dont know how Id survive without you all. That is why I posted again. Nothing ever changes in my life. I am single and dont have any real friends here because she chased them all away. I just miss so much my family up north who would do anything for a party.Lol.
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Dear Deb, Happy birthday. I think suicide is a right, but, when you want to do it, you are in no state of mind to make a major life decision and, when you feel better, you don't want to knock yourself off. Planting some flowers is a strong indication of your will to live. And you took the trouble to get on this site where we would like you to keep on breathing. Your mother is a beast. I don't know if she was always a beast, but she is now. I care for my husband and help with my aunt. Both have pretty good personalities. But I am so lonely for a girlfriend to shop with, a cousin who doesn't think I'm a drama queen or one who gives a sh*t. At a nearby hospital (Providence St. Joseph in Burbank) there is a "Leeza's Room," a place for caregivers. I don't go enough. My husband thinks they have some kind of ulterior motive or evangelistic goal. He's wrong, but it's kept me from being face-to-face with people in our situation. Hang on, darling. Please keep us posted. Pat
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I mostly get B-day wishes from Facebook friends these days - and though Dave Berry says you should stop expecting a lot of fuss over your birthdays at about age 11, it makes my day. Henry forgot once and now knows not to. I remember the first time mom forgot my birthday - she had vascular dementia and there was no way for her to remember that any more, but it was still dismaying!

So, happy birthday, such as it is; you know, planting your own garden is what most of us have to do one way or another (figuratively or literally!), and here is my fond hope and prayer that by next birthday if not sooner, something will have changed and you can find life worth living again.
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Awww Deb! Happy Birthday to You! Your AC family here cares about you. Please know that....((Hugs))

What kind of flowers did you pot up? I made a mini-garden yesterday with baby's tears and some cool low growing succulents. Stuck some tiny ceramic animals from my youth in with the plants. That cheered me up from the unending negativity I get from my mom.

Please enjoy your flowers and when you see them know there are people on here who do care and understand.
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It sounds like you need some good music to pick you up. Being dead is not so good, because it is so permanent. It's not like you can be dead for a little while. I am wondering if your mother's depression might be rubbing off on you and if you need to get away for a while. It does sound like you need a boost to your spirits.
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:( I wish i was dead.
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My daughter texts me. She does all the time. I dont get anything else from anybody else in my family. I dont need cards or any presents. Just the thought they remembered. I still keep crying and that is why I came on here again.
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deb, don't feel bad. I've learned that unless we're married with children, no one remembers our birthday when we get older. They remember it even less when we are caregiving. I feel lucky now if I get a card. And a present or a phone call -- forget about it! It's just another day in the life.

I do wish that not celebrating our birthday meant that we didn't get a year older. Now that would be cool. I would enjoy not celebrating every year.
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