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As most of you know, the person with dementia seems to be "nice" and "normal" to most people but those of us doing all the work, tend to get the short end of the stick. Every 2 weeks or so, things get tense with me and Mom and we sit and talk about it. It's always the same conversation. I explain things to her that she "gets" when we are talking, but soon forgets. Today I wrote her a letter. I wrote it large. I wrote it to the point. She "got" it. I am saving it for 2 weeks from now when she has forgotten it all. I will keep giving it to her when needed.I wish I had thought of this a LONG time ago!

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I agree Jeanne is great! And I was just teasing you, Cap'n-I gave Ferris heck on her profile for not accepting your apology awhile back.

Ahh, I really am ornary tonight. I need my sleep. Not that I will sleep. Darn insomnia is creeping back in. But I am gonna try.
Night guys. ((((((HUGS TO YOU ALL)))))))
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i answer questions sometimes then read back and see that jeanne has said the same damn thing except properly punctuated and extremely less " cursive " yup, shes a doll. suffered years of heartbreaing caregiving then lost her loved one but still tries to help others on here. thats the defination of selfless. IMO... IMO... get it? everything is just IMO..
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i like ferris but she gets brisk with people sometimes ie : why are we still discussing this outdated thread? duh, because a newcomer found it somewhere and had questions pertaining to it.
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I love Jeanne!!!!
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And I like everybody, ferris included, I have found this site a wonderful outlet. I would hope any discussions comments we can all learn from, both parties, thats all!! Even scolding !!! ;o)
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oh cmon, mishka. know it all and clown arent exactly the same thing. i apologised for sounding all knowing. im not sure what else to do. i am skillful in dealing with the mental impared i shouldnt have to apologise for that, and yes im sippin loudmouth tonight. thought i was being pretty civil. lastly, if you want some educated advice, listen to jeanne. the girl is smart.
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Rite of passage -OHGOSH!!! I have PMS and cannot spell!!
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Rite of passaage?
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I think we have all been schooled by Ferris. It is an Aging Care right of passage-consider yourself part of the club ;0)
(I like you, Ferris, btw !)
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Thanks mishka, u n cap'n always make me laff.... and sorry it has been a extremely emotional few days, don't mean to stir the pot! Just thought I would share, I would expect the same...if I am or will be outta line, somebody bitchslap me by all means. And I will say 1 she was somewhat accurate but what bugged me I had caught it already publicly and privately apologized for it and still received a scolding! anyway off to xray. Thanks for your patience!
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:0) (hee hee)
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LOL! Misha you are one smart, funny, loving old broad! That post made my night!
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Oooo-jujubean- what a way to spend the night- for you and , of course, your ma. Keep us posted. (((hugs)))

Ferris comes off like a know it all but she does know a lot

cap'n comes off as a know it all when he is drunk-

And I come off as a know it all when I have PMS.

I have PMS.

Just teasing with you guys.
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Well I am sitting in ER with ma and somehow came across hardass comments re: ferris. Pardon me for chiming in but I have to agree. She had referenced or responded to three of my post and all 3 had a somewhat condescending tone. Enuf for me to feel the need to message her directly and ask her to respect my opinion! Anyway so we sit here waiting to find out if moms ribs are broken-gaaaa
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normally i always use the term imo, but sometimes i hope its just implied. im no expert in anyting sorry if it sounded that way. i dont do bad for a guy. southern cares regional director thought i was one tactful and effective sob, again for a dullard. and boni, im good with criticism, it shows that someone cares enough to help me.
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Bonichak - Excellent slapdown.

God made us all different because we all have different jobs to do.
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Capnhardass,
From your first several wise, calm, insightful comments, I was going to ask Who are you and what have you done with our Capn? Glad to see you haven't been educated out of your sassy ways.
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@ cptn, respectfully you often come off as an expert. youre heading for resentment and combativeness.. lol, you piss me off and im not even under your care..
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Thanks for the support.
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aint gonna work boni. clarity is rare, brief and fleeting. @ ferriss, respectfully you often come off as an expert. youre heading for resentment and combativeness.. lol, you piss me off and im not even under your care..
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Thanks Mish....Nothing ventured nothing gained, and it sure couldn't hurt. I am quite enthusiastic that this is a great idea for OUR situation. I will let you know how it goes. : )
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no mentally ill person recognizes that their thought process is skewed. they dont possess this ability because their THOUGHT PROCESS IS SKEWED..
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I'm convinced. Next time a class rolls around again I'll sign up!
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turn on lights to reduce potential for mistaken visual / hallucinations...
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sit and eat with them so they can mirror your actions, common sense folks, aint taught in schools.
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it was a damn good class about how you dont take their tasks over, give them time to think, redirect the conversation instead of argueing / correcting, etc. ive learned most of this just with respect for the elder and common sense. lot of reading, but id recommend the class to anyone. clear their closet, reduce confusing choices, if they favor certain clothes, buy duplicates of the outfit, common sense stuff..
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BoniChak- I think it is worth a shot--what can it hurt? And I bet it was cathartic to write the issues out!
I think we all try different things and have hits and misses. and have hits that then later turn to misses --now if only we could have some misses turn to hits! OK- I am rambling now

Good luck with the letter ---let us know-in 2 weeks if it worked! :0)
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where behavior is concerned there isnt any difference yaya.
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where behavior is concerned there isnt any difference yaya.
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Roni, I think capn made some excellent points - I agree the written word can be helpful sometimes because it allows more time for them to process the information...they can keep reading it over and over again until, like you said, they "get it". But they have to be in a receptive mood in the first place, or that carefully worded note you took such pains to write might just end up getting crumpled into a ball and stuffed down your throat!
Cap'n, was the class you took specifically about AZ or did they discuss other forms of dementia too? I'm wondering cuz classes like that are offered around here every now and then. I almost went to one once but my MIL doesn't have AZ (Lewy Body Dementia, I think?) so I figured it wasn't really going to relate much to our situation.
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