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Who else tired of an elder's selfishness? My grandmother has always been self centered, greedy and cheap. She is a Slovenian Jew to the nth degree and can make a half penny scream blue murder. Next month, she is going in and getting her other knee replaced and has really ramped up with a Kindle Fire and an internet connection but I am the one who has to pay for it. There are plenty of options, cheaper options. But she wants a Kindle and someone to troubleshoot the thing. I'm sick of her me first and the gimme gimmes and refusal to pay for anything. Won't hire somebody to help her clean the house, keep her yard looking good and my family can't go over there once a week any more due to things we have to take care of that doesn't involve her stuff.

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Why does she expect you to pay for the kindle? I agree with the poster above....just say "I can't afford a kindle. I can help you buy one but Amazon needs a credit card....or if you want me to use mine just write me a check for $xxx (give her exact amount.)" Just curious: what would she say to this? I'm curious about manipulative people, they fascinate me. Does she have a total lack of empathy for you?
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Be a sport and trouble shoot any kindle she buys.
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It's mainly because I have a Kindle and if she couldn't figure something out, I would be tech support for her. My mother tells her that if she wants one that bad, she can find one and order it herself. Oh, she's got enough money to pay for it but unwilling to give me hear card # and permission to use it. It's always something for nothing. Every time she starts up on the phone, I say goodbye and hang up, if it's in person, I walk away.
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Uh,, why do you have to but her a new Kindle fire and troubleshoot it? If her pennies are screaming I assume she has the money for this? She is your Grandmother.. I get this.. but where are her children? Just tell her you "cant afford that now,, but you will be happy to order it for her if she gives you her CC #, and permission." MY FIL wants us to but the river house.. UH.. not in my current budget! Just say no and change the subject.. works for me!
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We don't have her in our home. She lives alone and 45 minutes away. We used to go over every week to try and keep her house somewhat clean and take care of the yard but it has gotten more difficult with my dad going through chemotherapy and we go once a month now and she isn't happy but nothing we do won't make her happy. Her house needs some major work, especially since she is elderly and falling is a concern. She won't consider Merry Maids or something like that to clean her house, even once a week. There are kids in college that might come over to do that or mow her lawn and shovel her walk way and drive way. With all the satellite college campuses, she can easily find one that wants a little extra spending money. I don't know if living through the Great Depression has something to do with it, even though both her parents had jobs throughout it. Or maybe WW2 did. Now she has to get her own groceries, clean her house and schedule her own doctors appointments.
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Dear Evermore,

I'm so sorry to hear how you feel. I know its not easy caring for an elder. Its hard to be in the trenches every day and not start to feel resentful and angry. Being the go to person for everything is overwhelming.

I think our grandparents are a different generation. My father was older when he had kids and he too hated to spend money. I was the oldest so I cleaned the house, maintained the yard, paid the bills and got whatever was needed done. The years catch up this and we become tired of the norm.

If you can try and get some respite care. Take some time away from your grandmother. She is not going to change at her age.

Thinking of you. Sending love and hugs.
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