My 86 year old father lives with my family, he wanted to purchase a car so my husband reluctantly helped him. Dad was in an accident and now wants a different car because he says he never liked the other one, he says it wasn't comfortable and he couldn't see over the front. Next up he wants to see his TV wants my husband to place the add well he placed it once but it wasn't what dad wanted so he changed it. TV never sold. Agin dad wants to sell TV we told him to place the add himself we don't want anything to do with it cuz nothing we do is right. Dad can't find his medicine guess who's fault it is.. Mine so he says. I cook dinner he dosnt eat it says it taets funny. How do you get your parent to do for themselves so that they can't blame you or your family??? He acts helpless but then when you help him it's not good enough. Whole family is tired of this and I feel stuck in the middle.

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Does your father have dementia? Or what is the reason he is living with you?

Sometimes nothing we do can make someone happy. If they are determined to be unhappy, everything falls short. The only thing we can do is use our good reasoning and provide good enough care. Buying a new car because he wrecked the other and didn't like it, anyway, would not be good reasoning. You know that already. If he pushes, the answer is no and hope he doesn't go over your head. I wondered if he even needed to be driving. Is his driving okay?

I like the way you handled the TV -- you didn't say no, but you told him he would have to handle it.

When my mother doesn't like something I cook I tell her fine, she doesn't have to eat it. She can make herself something else. It works with her. She decides eating what I cooked is better than fixing something else. I wonder if that would work with your father.

Dad should not be driving. Dad is having trouble managing his meds and is likely skipping sometimes and doubling in error other times. The only good thing about dementia is that he doesn't know he has it. You can't bargain with dementia, you can't debate dementia. You just do what is safest for them.

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