Thoughts on the Aging Care website?

Pam, “replies” all have a report button but the original post does not have a report button and I think that’s what geaton is talking about. There should be a report button on the original post but there isn’t.

The forum is separated in two different formats-questions and discussions. On the questions side, we can reply to individual responses. On the discussion format, which is where this thread is posted, we cannot reply to an individual response.

Every post I can see has the report button? I do wish each post had the respond to function.. only some of the ones I see do, with no rhyme or reason I can see. I also wish we could see a list of who liked our posts.. I only get a notification about the last one,, no way to see them all. Other wise I have gotten used to it.. things change and we adapt! This is a forum, so I don't worry about getting "legal advice",, it is not an issue for me,, its all opinions and people who try to help (except for the trolls)

Geaton, yes people here have taken faulty advice that caused problems. Big problems. Legal problems. Tacy is speaking from experience.

While I don’t think we can place all the blame on the forum for that, because we are all grown adults who should know better than to take legal advice from random internet strangers, I do think we should be careful when posting advice especially concerning legal matters. We also shouldn’t be sending people on wild goose chases trying to track people down in hospitals because of HIPAA laws.
If you don’t have authorization, no hospital will tell you a)if someone is a patient or b)where they were discharged too.....yet some of ya’ll regularly tell unauthorized people to call and find out!

1) the ability to delete your own post if you regret making it. Many times I have written a response (late at night) and then hit the "post comment" button, only to read it later and wonder what was I thinking?? Maybe this is already possible but I've not been able to figure it out.

2) the ability to report an original post. A few times there have been posts that are straight-up inappropriate solicitations. I know others usually post a comment for the AC admin to remove it, but wouldn't it be easier to just have a Report This Post for this purpose?

I do understand Tacy's comment about non-professional legal, financial and medical advice. I don't have a better solution to offer but I do feel that the site being more open is better than being more restrictive because advice may not be "perfect". People are adults and should be held to a standard of knowing they have a responsibility to vet info before acting on it. Maybe when new people sign up and before they can participant they must check a notification from AC that reminds them they take any advice at their own risk and AC always supports getting final advice from actual professionals in those fields? Has there been actual incidents here where participants have followed faulty advice and it caused a problem? If not then if it ain't broke don't fix it.

Every day I learn something new or a fresh way to look at something thanks to this site!

Good afternoon all,
We've resurrected Glad's thread to inform you of upcoming changes that will strengthen the security of our site for members.
Password changes will now occur through an email link. If you have forgotten your password, or would like to reset your password, a link will be sent to the email address with which you registered for the site. Administrators can also send the email link through the contact us location on the About Us page. Simply let us know that you need assistance with changing your password and we will generate the email for you to start the process of choosing a new password.
Additionally, users will no longer be able to change their own username once registered. In a situation where you need an immediate name change (for example, your name contains your real name), please message one of our active mods on duty with the messaging tool, or use the contact us location on the About Us page and let us know you need to change your username. Administrators will retain the ability to change a username. Please remember that changing a username can be confusing to other members on an interactive forum, and is viewed by some members as duplicitous. Requests can be made at any time, however it's best practice to choose wisely in creating your initial moniker.
Thanks to the tech team for these improvements, and thanks to all of you for your understanding and support!

I have “met” many wonderful people on AC and a fair number of others. Five of us who met on AC have developed an off site friendship. We have visited each other homes in various locations, but we don’t discuss our activities on AC and don’t acknowledge each other’s posts one way or another on line.

I agree with Tacy about the financial, legal and medical stuff. I am a licensed clinical psychologist but I don’t “practice” on line or give clinical advice. Support is fine.

The nested reply feature is very confusing and makes following the conversation difficult (as others have mentioned). I wish they would get rid of it.

I agree on the legal advice dizzybritches. I don’t mean any offense to anyone but a lot of people here either forget or are don’t realize that the law varies from state to state, and that we have federal and state laws. And that people here are not all from the US, so while people are generally well-meaning, giving legal advice isn’t a good idea.

I would like a mute or ignore feature. But seems to me the powers that be are not interested in that. Other forums I have visited won’t add those features and they say it’s because it would be too hard for you to follow the conversations if you can’t see everything that being said because you’ve ignored someone and that it can cause problems. The admins here don’t see to care about our complaints, they let people run around posting with multiple user IDs, baiting the members here, sending some of them harassing private messages and causing disruptions. We all try to ignore it but it’s hard and some of us lose our minds temporarily and start engaging them. Guilty as charged haha!

I don’t know what the site used to be like.

I haven’t been here very long and sometimes it feels a little clique-y here. I sent someone a message, never heard back. I wonder why that was. One of the first times I posted here someone who doesn’t know me told me to seek counseling. I just thought that was a weird answer.

Mute buttons usually make life more pleasant on other sites. I don’t see why this one would be different. There are a lot of people under varying degrees of stress here and we’re all human; tempers can flare now and then.

As a retired lawyer, I try to refrain from giving what I consider legal advice, when I’m pretty sure the law is different in different jurisdictions. That’s why I often tell people to see local lawyers. It’s not sexy advice, but it is what it is.

My husband isn’t as sick as some of your LOs, and if he gets worse, I’m of two minds about confiding about it here.

No soliciting would be nice, just my opinion.

AC can improve the reply function by making it a link so that when you click on the reply, it will take you right to it so you can read what the poster replies to. Then you don't have to search the whole thread from top to bottom looking for it.

I came on here when the old forum was up and was having a hard time navigating my way around, however with this new format I find it much easier.

I do wish there was a way to save your post or pm because like Isthisrealyreal, I have loss countless pms and post as I am typing them just to loss them by my phone slipping out of my hand.

I also wish if you report a comment (just the nasty ones) not only would the AC administration would take them down, but if the person repeatedly keep posting the same comment they would continue to remove it. Furthermore, if someone is posting or pm nasting messages to a person that the AC would take care of it. Like banned them from the site or something. Nice helpful people should not have to turn off their pm just because someone disagree or whatever the reason is so, they don't get slam with nasty pms one after the other. Maybe a way of setting up pms to block certain users or something!


Just my 2 cents!

I agree the reply function is difficult to follow because it's no longer chronological but rather nested within previous replies.

I don't feel I need to be able to mute someone. I can choose to not read their post. If it's offensive or off the mark, I do think it's helpful to let the original poster know that I disagree.

Commonly used acronyms ought to be limited to medical conditions, diagnostic tests, and the like. "DH" = dear husband is not essential knowledge, and may just be someone's initials.

Everyone ought to be able to express him/herself with words. Restricting language e.g. can't use the word diaper without someone taking offense is not helpful.

Newcomers really ought to be encouraged to use the search bar and read threads related to their question/concern. They ought to have some information in their profile. It is difficult to help when a profile is empty.

Trolls need to be called out and reported. "Report" ought to be included in replies.

I've gotten used to the new site and it's fine.

I wish the AC forum would have the 'mute' feature which you can use to mute posters whose posts you don't want to read.

Then, there's no need to reply which then leads to unfriendly exchanges which then leads to some good posters leaving the forum.

I wish that you wouldn't lose your post if you hit the wrong button. Sending a message that has taken some time to compose and loosing it all because the phone slipped has brought tears of frustration more than once and I know I am not alone.

I like the reply button, mostly, but I find it encourages posters to tell others how wrong they think their opinion is. Such an oxymoron, your opinion is wrong.

I am also disappointed that new members are being attached when they are obviously drowning in their lives and posters keep after them and it becomes a warped game for them. So sad that it can't be deleted and save the rest from having the hatefulness spewed all over us. (Yes, I am guilty of getting suckered into with certain posters, so I apologize to anyone I spewed on during a pizzy petty argument)

Overall, it was not as bad as it originally felt. I suppose at the time so much was changing that I didn't want anything else to change. But I survived all the changes.

It looks good. I do miss the ability to report someone's post like there use to be. I've been here since 2009 and it's been helpful and I have been able to help others.

Becky, flattery will get you everywhere ;-) Actually I'm in the process of figuring out if I want to start a "crisis coaching" enterprise here in MN/Twin Cities area. I'm finding that 1) too many aging boomers have not given a thought to post-retirement issues in any realistic way, and; 2) their children usually only find out that their parent/s are in the midst of a train wreck when a crisis happens (driving incident, falls, financial abuse, etc). It is all too evident on this website! But I'm so grateful for this forum.

I actually have a 3-page worksheet of To-Do items for adult children for their parents during a crisis that I created that is not the sugary sweet, "plan ahead" rhetoric you see on almost every aging website. Most people don't even know the difference between Medicare and Medicaid! Most people don't know why a DPoA is so critical. I've already done this informally for a few people who were like deer in the headlights panic mode. They just needed someone to sort through the mess and point them in a direction of where to start (especially when they don't have PoA), and also to understand dementia/cognitive decline and treat their elderly LOs with more respect and compassion and not just boss them around.

I was juggling 5 seniors at one point and learned a lot the hard way. And I was pretty pro-active as I saw the trainwreck in the distance and knew it was going to inevitably land on our doorstep. Even so, it was stressful and exhausting. I have a lot of compassion for those posting in the midst of their elder crisis...and for the burnt out caregivers.

Since I'm new I don't have any input about the changes in this site. I did just ask for a poster to clarify if her AL meant Assisted Living or Alabama! The way it was written in her sentence you couldn't tell. I do wish you could be alerted actively when you get a reply. Most commenters have been very civil and polite, which is essential.

I've told many people about this site already. Thanks for YOUR input (and AlvaDeer's).

I wish there weren’t so many distinctions made between posters. Just my opinion, but maybe isn’t very welcoming. There are some good new posters - Alva Deer and Geaton 77 are great.