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Oh boy, thank you for your honesty. I have the same thing "knowing at my gut." I am able to make peace with it because I think it improves my stress level but it improves my mother's quality of life. If I don't lie to her,tell her that her car isn't working,there will be a crash of she tried to drive. If I don 't lie to her,tell her one of her doctors is out of town she will harass him until he refused to see her. Get the picture. I just think at this point it's unfortunately necessary . Please don't be so hard on yourself.😉
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We all do this. And it is hard. Find little ways to give him some mail. My family helps so much by sending letters etc. The phone is so hard. Do you know how to program it to make it impossible to call certain numbers? Sounds like you need some respite.
(8)
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We have done everything. Fortunately for my mom, the cell was not a big issue. Buying stuff on TV was. We started with taking away her credit card, then giving her prepaid card, then no access to credit cards at all. One time she called on her home phone, remembered her checking account# and SS# and got a "Bow Flex" credit card, and sure enough a 200# Bow flex stair machine showed up 3 days later.
She has a smart TV, many of the shopping channels are blocked. The TV goes off at 11 and won't come back on till 7.
She is constantly looking for her checkbook to buy something. She never answers the phone when it rings, so we just moved it upstairs and we get all the calls forwarded to me and my sister through the VOIP.
Hearing aides were another matter. She would pull them out and leave them everywhere. She doesn't think she needs them. We finally just stopped, they kept getting lost, it was a disaster, and they are expensive. Wireless head phones so she can watch TV and have the sound turned up so no one else is bothered.
She recently had to get an upper plate denture, it ends up everywhere. She even left it at a restaurant. Takes her "teeth out to eat". Go figure. Sometimes we laugh, sometimes we cry, sometimes we rage.
This is not devious, this is protective. Think of what you do for your little children to keep them safe and prevent exploitation. This is the other end of life where we have to do the same things.
(22)
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CELL PHONE
Hubs advises looking for a technology that blocks that specific cell phone getting to the cell phone tower, and instead going to a box that won't put the call through. It may be called "Cell-be-gone".

Or, you could do what Sharyn did, drop it in a glass of water (joke).

My idea was to "call forward" during certain hours, but that may be labor intensive.

You could get a dummy phone when hiding his, so he won't freak out.

Having things gone missing all the time will add to your hubs confusion and frustration, I am thinking. It depends upon his cognitive abilities, and if he becomes lucid at times.

I empathize with your frustration, and the reason I thought of putting the phone in a glass of water is that it seems so much easier than to have it end up in a trash truck, being tracked to a dump site. imo. So bad, huh? Those things can be expensive.

You so very much need some respite care.
(9)
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And... This morning I looked for an hour for missing hearing aids-this after paying a replacement co-pay on care credit for one purchased in October2017athe second one lost in a year-the fourth in 10'years. When he got up he placed them in an empty cigarette pack, then removed them. After dumping trashe, scouring the flour and under furniture, asking if he had them on, him chastising ME-i looked more closely and, oh yes, you guessed it-both in his ears! Ah yes, please, great spirit, it's only 9 am...
(28)
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I am so sorry you have to go through this. I wish you peace for at least a day. {{{Hugs}}}
(10)
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((hugs))

Coping with dementia is exhausting.. I've been playing these games with my Dad for over 6 years now.. to try to keep the peace.
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