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You know you have to think that there are a couple good people that works at the nursing home. Why didn't they report that my mom wasn't being fed for giving enough to drink? Just left her immune system very little and she caught the covid-19 from a worker, she had a UTI that was untreated. The nursing home was closed to the public, my mom had dementia. She already forgot how to walk she couldn't hold a phone. I will go to the nursing home I'll look through the glass windows but you really can't tell what's going on I was looking at her and I would say hey is she okay does she need anything and they would tell me everything's fine. I started going everyday to the nursing home before the covid-19. Everyday during the three different shifts to see what goes on you can't trust the nursing home when your family member cannot talk for themselves . Please make the effort go different days go everyday go different shifts if they have her in bed lift up the blankets check over the body of your loved one to make sure there's no open cuts or sores. If you feel like there's something wrong and there is. Don't get me wrong not everybody is bad who works at nursing home they just have to find their voice so innocent people don't die.

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Yes, you need to be your LOs advocate. COVID last April was bad because no one really knew what they were dealing with.

The people that deal with the patient most of the time are the CNAs. They report to the LPNs, the LPNs to the RNs and RNs to director of nursing. There is a chain of command. The CNA tells the LPN, Mrs. S is not eating, thats were her responsibility stops. Everyday they left a big Styrofoam glass of water on Moms side table in her room. Problem was Mom was only in her room at night. But I did see them go around the activity room and make sure everyone got water. You can put the food and water in front of them but you can't make them eat it.

The UTI, the only way they knew Mom had one was she started hitting the staff. With Dementia its hard to know that someone has an UTI because the symtoms are like Dementia. For some reason the elderly don't get the burning or itching. As Geaton pointed out the brain may no longer be able to acknowledge the burning and itching.

You don't say why Mom was in a NH? If she had an already compromised immune system, nothing the NH could have done about that.
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Thank you for highlighting the importance of everyone in a facility needing a person to check on their care and advocate for them. My mother spent four years in a NH and I know her care was better because our family was often there. We’re thankful we didn’t have to go through the Covid time with her. I’m sorry for your loss, I’m sure your mother knew your love, and I wish you peace
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I am very sorry for your loss.

I agree that there are good and bad workers in some facilities. The majority are very hard workers that have an extremely tough job. They are often short staffed. You tried very hard to do what you could for your mom. Take comfort in that.

Covid certainly made life more challenging for everyone, the residents and their families, plus the staff who cares for them. If your mom was unfairly treated, I am truly sorry.

Have you spoken to the NH about this issue? If so, what was their response?

Wishing you peace as you grieve for your loss.
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I'm very sorry for the loss of you mom, especially under those circumstances. My MIL was in a sort of similar situation, but with a different outcome. She is 85 with memory loss, mild dementia and obesity but won't get out of bed so she's in LTC.

In April 2020 covid hit her facility. The facility staff were running around like their hair was on fire working unspeakable hours as they tried to care to the many ill and totally dependent residents while the staff themselves were getting covid and having to stay away for the quarantine time. There were so subs available and a shortage of PPE.

The facility admin did their best to create a covid wing on the first floor so that family could have window visits. The amount of labor involved in this was incredible. Once my MIL was in that wing, she too was so weak from covid she couldn't hold up the phone to her ear so we could talk to her. She only got Tylenol and 5 lt oxygen a day because she had signed a DNR when she entered the facility. The facility by law would not force her to eat or drink. She got no IV fluids (because of the DNR). Every time we wanted to attempt to talk to her on the phone at the window it would mean taking away staff nurse or aid and wasting PPE for a 3 minute call that usually wasn't successful. Her doctor only called us once a week for an update because she was so overwhelmed with work. Nine people in my MIL's wing died. She herself was put on hospice for 4 weeks but then at the end of May she recovered.

You should not totally judge a facility based on how they managed the chaos from covid. It was extraordinary circumstances. Also regarding the UTI issue, in the elderly the symptoms are not the same as in a younger person: often only manifesting in behavior and personality changes, confusion and agitation, and a fever. My MIL has had many UTIs and because of her memory loss and dementia, she doesn't process her pain signals accurately anymore. It is not easy for the medical staff to know when a resident has a UTI and then it's not easy to get a urine sample from a bedridden or uncooperative person. If you think your mother was a victim of negligence then please gather your evidence and take it to an attorney. May you be comforted with loving memories of your mother and receive peace in your heart.
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Like like I said please not all caregivers are bad. Get to know your caregivers you could find a good ones from the bad ones.
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