I am alone with 3 kids and ailing parent most of the time. My stomach is in cramps a lot lately. I already suffer from anxiety. But panic attacks getting worse. Broken down home. I think i shouldve thought of myself. But i guess i rarely do. Until im down like now, and cant seem to function through chores and all the things my kids need. I cant physically or emotionally give it. I think i shouldve figured out a different plan. Maybe if someone else is reading this they will rethink it. It seems noble at the time. To take care of parent at home. To save family home. But this sick feeling i have, along with hate for relatives and dealing w my own screwed up childhood and his life. Its too much.