Once through anticipatory grief, as you watch them disappear to those disease spectrum. Again, when they pass. It's a grief bomb. Dealing with now. Don't have the answers wrapped up in a bow, but this much I do know. For everyone out there currently dealing with, or has, man do I ever know.
And the grief is a process individual to each. Don't let anyone hurry you through it. This is my first week back at work, my mom died June 4th. This week has felt like a month long.
Small steps. That's all we can do. Anyone having hard time eating, like me, I recommend BOOST drinks. Chocolate pretty darn good. High protein, high vitamin. You have to keep your protein up.