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Unintended consequences
She's apt to be lonely and you'll probably feel sheepish trying to send her back to her unit as you sit down to a family dinner

Sorry I don't have any suggestions but maybe some of the nightowls will
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She would not be becoming an unpaid caregiver. My worry is that I might eventually slide into that role as she ages. She will be free to come and go as she pleases. My kids don't need any care except transportation (ages 12 & 14) and I would not be paying her for her time. The reduced rent should cover the once a month rides she would be providing.

My problem / concern is that she wants to do too much. She wants to vacuum my house, help with laundry, start dinner etc. I don't need help with any of that so I would not offer to pay her for it.

I would like our lives to be a little more separate than I think she is picturing. Example: The other day, a comment was made about if my husband's TV was too loud and she said "Oh, I could just shut the door" And I am thinking that the door would always be shut and we would knock if we wanted to visit.

And if she starts our dinner, there is a presumption that she will be joining us for dinner - which would be fine sometimes but I don't want it to be an "always" thing.

I just have to find a way to let her know my expectations.
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I would say that you are unwilling to set up a situation either one of you may regret some day, where she may feel she is not free to come and go as she pleases or has become an unpaid caregiver and you begin to resent your lack of privacy. Tell her that you appreciate her offer to help you and will avail yourself of it only when you both agree in advance. And of course set up an understanding about how much to pay for her time.
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Good luck, but, it's very difficult to set boundaries when you are practically living under the same roof, with a person that you have had a previous relationship with and consider more a friend than tenant.

You may want her to perform some things, like being available for children's transportation when needed, but, at the same time expecting her to not be overly involved. It's ripe for a terrible outcome, imo. If there is no contract yet, I'd reconsider. There are so many things that could go south. And then how would you feel evicting someone at her age? That's what I would look at. What is the remedy if things don't work out? It could make for a very uncomfortable situation.

If you still want to proceed, I'd consult with an attorney and get help on getting a written Lease that includes provisions that protect your interests.
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