Follow
Share

My husband's worthless lazy nasty, liar and thief has lived with us for 10 years now and it has been nothing but a living hell for me and our animals, their one brother who could take him and his spoiled rotten wife won't because they are spoiled rotten. For 10 years me and my husband hasn't had any alone time, the only time we get to ourselves is when we go grocery shopping, after 10 years of my husband's brother's daily living hell I have had enough. The only thing I wanted for this Christmas is for me and my husband to get to spend Christmas just the 2 of us but instead our marriage is being murdered by his brother. After 10 years this will be the last holiday that I have ruined by someone who only cares about himself, 2026 it will be just me and my animals and my husband can be the only one here to go through his brother's daily living hell. I am getting a divorce after 34 years all because of my husband's brother and the rest of their family who can't and won't stand up to help their own brother or anyone else.

Wondering if OP moved out?
(1)
Report

You posted about this brother in 2024 and in 2025.
Your husband could have changed this situation 9 years and 11 months ago but he chose not to.
You chose to remain. Granted I am sure that you did not know that this would go on for this length of time.
I do not think anyone would put up with this for 10 years.
Make sure that you have a goo lawyer. Make sure that you and your assets are protected.
(0)
Report

There's always 3 sides to every story. His side, her side and the truth is somewhere between them.
(0)
Report

I hear the anger and disappointment in your post, but name calling is off limits here.

It doesn't sound like a caregiving situation is involved so I don't have any input about your situation.

However, I would explore an eviction process first to get your bil out of your home first.
(2)
Report

Good for you for finally saying enough is enough. I just hate that it took you so long to realize that you deserve SO much better.
(0)
Report

I am glad that you are divorcing and only sad that it took you 10 years to reclaim your life. This wasn't a brother-in-law problem; it was a husband problem. He chose his family over you, and I am so very sorry.

Not everything has an answer. This is why in my family we all laughed so hard when my step-daughter gave everyone a sage smudger to burn on New Year's Day to wipe out all the bad "ju-ju". It has been a YEAR for us. Hopeangel, I wish a good new year for you. Often you are never as alone as you are surrounded by a family that isn't loving. You will, I hope, find PEACE big time, even though I recognize that being divorced can bring new problems to many in terms of financial survival. Best out to you.
(1)
Report

This is an issue between you and your husband. Your husband needs to choose between staying in the house with his brother while you leave and divorce him, or keeping you and the marriage intact while kicking his brother out. Tell your husband he needs to choose by January 1st, and on January 2nd you will either look for a new place for yourself to live, or look for a new place for his brother to live. Then follow through.
(3)
Report

This is a marriage problem, not a caregiving problem. Find a therapist who can help you understand why you've stayed in this situation for 10 yrs, building up so much resentment that you're coming to a public internet forum to name names. That won't change a thing, my friend. Only YOU can change a living situation you find to be "a living hell."

I hope you do.

Merry Christmas.
(4)
Report

See my response to you under JoAnn's comment. I commend you for being willing to go out on your own and getting a divorce rather than live as you do. I really hope it doesn't come to that for you.

Legally evicting a person from your home is easier than ending a 34 year marriage. Have your BIL served with eviction. Don't call these people's names and locations out to strangers on an international forum. You don't want your BIL living at your home. You also had the last ten years to evict his a$$ from your home but did not do so. That's on you and your husband. Not the other siblings.

Complaining about it will not get him out. Pinning a scarlet letter on the rest of the family by giving their names and locations is not going to shame them into 'helping' you by taking the mess off your hands. All that did was possibly put them and their families in danger. You and your husband took his brother in ten years ago. That was a CHOICE that the two of you made. The other family members are not wrong for refusing to take responsibility for your BIL. No doubt, if you could turn back the clock with what you know now, you would not have taken him in.

Go to the housing court and do an eviction. Your BIL will get a certain amount of time to pack up and go or the police remove him. He'll probably show up at another sibling's home. Not your problem.
(2)
Report

@hopeangel12250

I'm reporting you also for two reasons. You don't respect the rules of this group. You call people by name and list addresses, and you're getting political. Don't be such an instigator.
(3)
Report

Your first post was this time last year with no response from you. Second time was November of this year and the one response with your ID was like you were answering yourself.

I skimmed you other 2 posts and you received some good advice. This man needs to be in a facility. I would hope that he receives Social Security Disability. I would call Adult Protection Services and say you will not be caring for this adult male any longer.

If you can afford to, get that divorce. Walk away. Your in-laws are no more responsible for this man than you are. They probably see what you put up with and are not going to do that kind of caring. You are angry and rightfully so. If your husband is not willing to find someplace else for his brother, then you need to walk away.
(1)
Report

I am reporting this post because you have nnamed people and addresses. This is not allowed on this forum.
(5)
Report

Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter