I found this very wise post on another (financial) website; I think it is good cautionary advice.

The OP wrote in that her mom, 58, had recently suffered a stroke, was refusing PT for balance issues and was probably not going to be able to return to work. The mom has no savings and still has a mortgage. She is resisting all offers of help from her adult child.

"...When in similiar circumstances, the toughest thing for us was to think about the problem dispassionately: to acknowledge that the limit of your responsibility is to connect your mom with services and to be supportive of your mom’s decisions —good or bad; to decide firmly that Under no circumstances should you consider doing anything that will negatively effect the finances or structure of your marital family unit.

There are natural consequences to your mom’s past and present actions/decisions. You can NOT want things for your mom any more than your mom does. If she chooses to ignore advice, pass on services, avoid decisions, etc then that is her decision as an adult and she alone will live with the consequences. It’s possible that by getting a social worker from Area Aging Agency involved that your mom may find her way to counseling that may start to chip away at the underlying mental issues.

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