The issue of “misgendering” is gaslighting seniors

My thought is - It's a matter of RESPECT - to anyone - of any gender they identify with. The bottom line is - ACCEPTANCE.

If an elderly person is being treated and provided with great care by whomever....that is a BLESSING in itself. The rest is not to cast judgement on.

And yet I bet you've seen plenty of male doctors JoAnn, and they've seen plenty of you too 🤣

You all must live someplace where gender roles haven't changed much because it is no longer uncommon for nurses and other care staff to be men, both in care homes and in the hospital.

Just my opinion here. You are born male on female. I don't care what you identify with but unless u have had surgery you are still male or female.

Me, I do not want a male CNA helping me dress or bathe. I have a right to have a woman. To me a man identifying as a woman is still a man and I don't want him caring for me either. He may dress like a women and act like a woman but he is a man.

I agree with MD this transgender thing has gotten so out of hand.

This is what I like to refer to as "fluff" legislation.

Several years ago, the town geographically next to mine passed a town ordinance banning fracking. The town board members had a core group of supporters who were vocally against fracking, so the town board, to appease their support base - who I imagine are also their biggest donors - put this ban into effect. But it was an easy law to get passed, with no real opposition, because there is absolutely nothing underground there worth fracking. It would be akin to banning oil drilling; no one's gonna try to drill if there ain't nothin' to drill for! So why not ban away!

I would imagine that, aside from a very select few, most people who identify as transgender AND are working as caregivers in a facility where the patients can get nasty due to dementia have much more pressing concerns than being referred to as a gender to which they DON'T identify. Like maybe a living wage, or better benefits, better working hours, etc. I can't imagine where anyone who works in a facility taking care of dementia patients doesn't develop a thick skin PDQ, or else I doubt if they last very long in that profession.

This strikes me as meaningless legislation put forward just to appease some political base.

I wasn't going to comment again but I keep coming back to this - I have a hard time imagining how the issue of gender would even come up in a caregiving situation. A CNA would enter the room and say "it's time for your bath now John (or Mary or Bernadette)" and would proceed to get that person ready for her bath. There are already male CNAs, and female CNAs, and there have undoubtedly always been closeted trans CNAs. They are all wearing similar scrubs and a name tag and the resident can either call them by name or not if they can't remember. When any resident has a problem with their sex, race, religion, hair colour, size or something else and chooses to make a scene then that's something to be dealt with at the care plan meeting.

Even we as family are told to superficially affirm things we know in our dementia patient are delusions. They can’t go “home” to where their parents are as the parents have passed. No ones stealing from their purse as they no longer have one.

But pretty much everyone has the ability to distinguish bio males from bio females.

I'll admit I don't know a lot of trans people but those I do know tend to present as the gender they have chosen, so misgendering a person is more apt to be hateful and on purpose than a simple mistake. And I seriously doubt 99% of worker are complaining about the residents that can't get their pronouns right, it's the ones who deliberately spew hatred and insults that are causing problems.

And I want to add - people on the forum are constantly advising not to give people with dementia a pass when it comes to out of line behaviours, most of us have known since we were two how the behave in polite company.

That’s the whole point. Everyone gets treated like s and lots of elders don’t have filters fine enough to pick up on “oh, dude in blue hair thinks he’s a woman so I must say that too.”

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So?
I think that elder care workers are often treated like absolute $h!t and we all know the pay is abysmal, when you force staff to accept being abused physically and verbally then they are going to vote with their feet and leave and the turnover in the industry is already at the breaking point. And often with demented elders their non demented relatives are part of the problem.