The Caregiver & Dysfunctional Families: How are you doing?

Hi all, I hope everyone is coping with this sheltering in place. It is so scary and at times there does not appear to be much direction. I’m still working🙏🙏🙏
we have as last reported, 1,077 confirmed cases in the state with 10 deaths. My county has about 400 confirmed.
im just trying to stay busy when at home so I don’t obsessively listen to the news. At work we are slow. Stock is not completely caught up. They have hired temporary workers just to restock. The biggest issue I see is the 18-49 age group who continue to socialize.

I do hope everyone is staying safe and sending my thoughts and prayers.

Well, today a bit fed up with this entrepreneurship program. This week's assignment is to submit a personal financial statement. Nope, not doing that. If I were applying for a loan that would be one thing. I am not. I submitted the blank template provided with an explanation why. 😠😵

And the class has become very caddiwompus as a result of the virus.

Hey All!
i know I’m not here much, being wrapped up in everything from sourcing groceries via mail order, to finishing up tax records for accountant to prepare taxes, to medical stuff times two people.
Given the current COVID virus situation, getting ready to explode in our community, I requested my PT evaluate and prescribe me home-going exercise plan post hip and knee replacements, for our own safety. Due to the severely deteriorated condition my muscles were in going into the surgeries, it’s very slow, hard recovery. But I am now doing home PT only. It’s mentally hard to stay focused and disciplined.
I’ve been battling the blues, sad that I had to delay my badly needed right knee replacement. Trying so hard to fit in all these joint replacements, living in pain times the number of failed joints. Hard to function, hard when PT exercises hurt the joints needing surgery, hard to do housework. But I did what was right, to stay out of hospital for what is considered elective surgery right now, though the pain doesn’t feel elective to me.
The other source of my dark mood is that I didn’t get my health back on track as quickly as I wanted, before hubs’ health problems jumped back to the forefront. He had balloon angioplasty yesterday, right femoral artery mostly blocked. After six week follow up, they will go back in and unblock the left femoral artery. I have to call the internist for a referral to the interventional cardiologist, to check his main aorta, heart valves, etc. same blood system, needs re-evaluated. I have put myself behind his urgent medical needs for so long, and now with the COVID virus situation, seems I never get to take care of my own urgent medical issues. Even though I know it is terrible timing to be having a joint replacement, just when will be a good time?! Life is so unfair at times.
I am fortunate to have a generous neighbor volunteer shopping for groceries for us right now. She has lost her job now, hope she can stay well. I feel like I am imposing, so used to doing for myself. But with both of us being diabetic seniors with lung disease, him with heart disease as well, we don’t dare take chances. Unfortunately, his medical situation is too urgent to wait. And of course, I am very concerned for him, even though we’ve been through many of these roto-rooter sessions, patching, stents, stroke, you name it. I just keep propping him back up, like the energizer bunny. Lol.
I also see the urologist next week, follow up on blood in urine, bladder spasms, and urinary muscle that does not fully close. Not fun.
Oh well. Stay well, All, be safe.

Gladimhere,
Last heard Sharyn Marie in Dec. 2019.
She was very busy and posting much less.
Would love to hear from her.

My two week quarantine is up, back to work tomorrow. Then I get a call from the assistant that was sick that sent me home. She has been back in the office for just over a week. Now, she is sick again. So she is out for awhile. Of course, she says it is just a head cold, she was running a low grade fever. But, guidelines are guidelines and this is not my decision up to HR, powers that be and the health department. She is frustrated, me too. This woman, if anyone is going to get it, she will be the one.

Anyone heard from SharynMarie? Pretty strong earthquake in her parts yesterday

You all, it has been a mind-blowing week. A visit this week found mom bruised in several places with live-in-sibling and aides being hush, hush. Then hostility even from the aides when I asked what happened.

Employer refusing to replace aid because everyone love aide so much. Also said aide has no place in calling on hospice if they see an issue with parents and that it falls on the live-in-sibling. If the live-in-sibling doesn't request help, the aide has no responsibility.

Answry,

A pen form another lawyer can change this only if the person granting it means with them and changes it themselves. I don't think that lawyers make house calls.

Akababy I feel you when you said: I know what it is all about - money - but makes me sad that they would give up their sister and aunt over this when we are talking about not really a whole lot of money here. I feel like they are doing all of this to wear me down mentally and physically so they can get what they want and they are doing a good job at it.

Yes I felt and feel the same way. I beat myself up at times, saying I let them win by physically leaving my parents. But take care of yourself as much as possible.

Golden 23, I didn't see your response. Trying to catch up now.

They are my babies (my heart). I’m tearing up trying to type. But my family has been with the two old-timers a long, long time, even before taking on the role of paid help. We did church, traveled, carried them to doctor appointments, and did fun stuff around the home.

Seeing them once a week or every other week is hard. Talking to them on the phone (whenever sibling allows) and not seeing them physically is hard. Sibling can’t tell one simple truth and aids especially will not say a word even when a problem exist. This was happening before my exit so no expectations.

Sibling claimed so much night help was needed. But as soon as I was out of the picture, an accidental leak let me know no night help (person declined job). One of the parents is no longer on hospice after getting out of the hospital and does not receiving a separate aid. I was ripped a new one from putting that parent on hospice so I was trying to let them decide (but guess what?) The parent without the extra help is begging us to come back and help. I have tried to convince this parent there will be no peace although it is already touch and go from a few calls I've heard.

Don’t know how to get out of the transport business because the health agency says aids can’t do transport (and they don’t seem interested in ride along). Very recent appointments resulted in a big uproar because of this one can’t do this and can’t do that and this one don’t have this so can’t help with that. Can’t use funds to get a rental because siblings aren’t equipped if you know what I mean. We have been the only ones equipped.

So I’m feeling stuck helping with even if we’ve gotten away from the daily grind.
And with the covid-19, nurse visits are down to twice a month (hospice notified) and no one is talking in regards to the pca visits. Feel without health care poa, I will not be able to ensure help at all times.

In regards to finances, I don’t know what to do. One parent is still okay with me handling the social security, although I don't have poa or representative payee status. Other parent will not be able to communicate preference. I usually pay all bills out of their account (my name is not on account) and then ATM out for their pocket money although now I wonder if I need to go even harder on the receipts with western union or similar. Store trips I usually keep store receipts.

With the pocket money that parent can do as pleased which I know some goes toward groceries and other toward helping siblings (runs deep). By the second week, there were calls from siblings about the checkbook and the parent says no for me to keep. Then this week, I get a call asking who carries parents on taxes from one of the siblings. I said no clue. I do not.

This worries me handing finances back to live-in-sibling. Hiring someone is out of the questions, I know one can be appointment but not sure if parent would be okay with a outsider.

I’m resolved to do health care power of attorney to ensure parents get the help and eyes they need. I resolved to get financial poa although reading here it says that can be changed with a quick writing with a pen from another attorney. I'm resolved to start doing certified mail so my sibling can quit saying I wasn't told.

Akababy, you don't ever have to see or speak with any of them again. That is completely up to you. You can use an attorney to settle your mom's estate.

Don't worry about the later now, it will be enough for that day.

Take care of you and your mom and let the rest worry about themselves. I would block them from sending you anything and I would not send them anything, if they want to know they will have to figure it out.

Because of the way my siblings have acted towards me over the last nine years since we lost dad I have not had any contact with them since June of last year. I have poa and trustee over my MoMA's estate. I know what it is all about - money - but makes me sad that they would give up their sister and aunt over this when we are talking about not really a whole lot of money here. I live 5 hrs away and all of the work is left to me. They ignore my text mags when I ask for anything but are real good about sending ugly ones to me. Accused me of taking care of myself to a bigger share of the estate and doing things out of spite. Gaslight me and keeps me miserable all the time. I feel like they are doing all of this to wear me down mentally and physically so they can get what they want and they are doing a good job at it. I have done alot for my family because momma has not been capable too over these years and this is how I am treated. I now have high blood pressure, anxiety, depression and can't have any enjoyment out of my live. So that is why I have gone no contact with them. I have noticed that I am not as stressed out dealing with all of their drama. I found a caregiver's group, a knitting group and I go to the gym and joined ww because I have gained weight. When we go see momma - we just see her - nobody else. We don't have christmas with all of them - just with momma. Momma doesn't understand or wants to believe that her kids are acting the way they are
So when we are with her we don't talk about them. I was raised by the same parents in this family and I just never thought that it would be like this. How much worse is it going to get after we lose momma?

glad - what a nice gesture from neighbour. Happy to hear you are not very sick. Don't think this is anything to do with antibiotic use. They are for bacteria and this is viral. I heard there was no yeast around. Can your dd make her own starter?

beatty - whatapp group chat sounds like a great idea!

Got my second grocery delivery several days earlier than they said. Yay!!!! It works pretty well and I trust that will continue. Washing off everything isn't a lot of fun but has to be done. The kitties like the grocery bags. They were nuts today. Not sure what that was about. Saw Pumpkin across the road this morning but she came home quickly. I worry about her and cars as when she sees something she wants she rushes at it with no caution. I didn't want to call her in case a car came. Rocky is very alert and cautious.

Hope everyone is relatively well. This is one crazy ride for sure. (((((((hugs))))))

Just workmate had fever. I don't think I have had one, no body aches as I always get with a fever.

Yes, thankful for this neighbor!

Glad, did you have the fever? Or just your workmate?

Your neighbour sounds lovely. That's some of the good isn't it? Our street has a group WhatApp group chat now.

Well I hope your scratchy throat is it & that's that. Got it, bit of a scratch, recover, done!

Assistant went back to work Thursday. Fever free for three days. I and my other assistant are on quarantine for another week following exposure to her. Working from home as we can. Talked with her for 45 minutes today on where we are with projects. One thing learned is that two monitors sure save time and makes work easier! Much less switching back and forth between tabs.

I have been issued a laptop to access work servers. It is really slow, and two sets of task bar is goofy to look at. Gotta be careful to click the right task bar.😕

Never thought I would see anything like this in my life. Makes one wonder if this is one of those illnesses that we were warned about because of overuse of antibiotics.

Next door neighbor sent a FB friend request two days ago. Offering to pick up anything I needed when she went to the store. Very sweet of her. I told her I have been on quarantine for a week with scratchy throat and a cough. I asked her to check on thermometers. She stopped at two places, none to be had. Then tried Amazon. A selection of probably 10 different brands of the digital ones. All were listed as available for a penny plus shipping and handling of $6.00. Placed one in my cart only to find out delivery not until the end of April. I don't call that available.

DD2 with girls home wants to make bread. No yeast to be found.

Back to sweet neighbor. She asked me if I had ever heard of, I think, Dotsero sinus. Nope, not me. It is a mixture of essential oils that has helped to clear my sinuses. She brought it over in the cutest little blue roll on bottle, like a tube of lipstick. So sweet of her.

Watched Dr. Phil yesterday, some 22 year old bimbo, yes I said it, won't go into it as don't want to give her the attention and notoriety she obviously needs in her self-absorbed life. Just really ticked me off!

duck - safe so far!!! Your mother in an NH looked after by professionals might not be so bad. You are "putting out fires" all the time. You must be burned out. The virus is upsetting everyone's plans.

Ali -glad to see you back for a visit. Sorry you lost your job but glad to hear that your life has been good. and the anxiety is decreasing. I have self quarantined, I think that is the right term. I do not suspect I have covid-19 but don't want it as I am a higher risk age group. My day to day life hasn't changed a lot as I am an introvert anyway. More shopping is getting done on line and I found a grocery service that delivers. On the other hand I was going to move south this summer and all those plans are on hold. My dream of being in a nice home with sig other in a cosy little town have evaporated along with any plans for travel and trail riding. On the other hand, I have more time to do what I have to here (get rid of stuff) so that's good. Gotta go with the flow. I have acquired 2 beautiful fluffy orange kitties and they keep me entertained and busy.

re the TP -Have you asked the weird room mate why?

yoda - you have been busy and involved!!!

glad - you are right, we have missed ali. How is your assistant?

Down south my oldest son and spouse are both self isolating. She is a health care worker and has been tested. He said it was just a slight cough for both of them but they were told to stay home from work and now all the stores in the chain he worked for have closed (non essential services). Middle son started working from home last week. (he's in IT) The students were all dismissed from the college a couple of week ago. Things have settled down at dd's house as dgd has been on meds for long enough now and they are making a big difference. The grands are happy to have been let out of school. Bil still has his job though about 25 were let go in his area. That is a blessing.

My thyroid has been off again but getting sorted thankfully, About a week ago I found out that my ex sil,(oldest grandson's dad) has bone cancer, metastasized from prostate cancer (which was not properly cared for when he was in Egypt for a few years).and he is on chemotherapy and therefore vulnerable to the virus. He has been given about 2 years. All around that is a bummer!!!

The economy here has tanked with oil prices and now with the virus many businesses are suffering globally. We are in a different than ever before situation world wide. Recovery will be slow and some things will be different, I think.

I like the fb quip that "I never thought I would see the day when cannabis was easier to buy than toilet paper and hand sanitizer." 🧻 🧴 🖐

Well, I can’t believe this, but my one weird roommate (I have two, the other is a nurse and a lovely person) started taking toilet paper off the rolls in the bathroom, did this to 6 rolls in the past 24 hours. What a world, right?

I finally thought “they must not know the packages of TP are kept under the sink, and so they think this may be the last roll or two, so they’re taking it for if we run out.” I put the rest of the package in the bathroom cupboard and hope that stops their need to take the TP off the rolls.

Im finding it funnier now then earlier today. lol

Ali, we have missed you! So many out of work right now, absolutely frightening! Sounds like otherwise you are doing great! These are very anxious times for so many.

Ali,

My wife was making great progress once she got to outpatient PT after her troublesome knee replacement surgery. Her sinuses started acting around the start of the virus here in the US. So, she's cancelled her appointments of every kind through the end of this month which was when she is supposed to see the surgeon again and to see if she can be set free from PT, but that is all up in the air now.

I have cancelled my PT for my frozen left shoulder which has improved greatly after months of PT. I've gotten to the point that I had signed up for a personal trainer that I met with for five times before the virus got more serious. There are four cases of it now in our section of eastern NC.

Along with playing nurse for my wife, I've been financial adviser and emotional support person for my SIL who is retiring in June, but almost made a few costly mistakes. Thankfully, we are such friends that she took my advice and my wife is happy that I have helped her sister. We really relate more like siblings after all of these years. If you wonder about her husband, well the best thing I can say is very little other than he is. She has to be his caretaker. She's a uterine cancer survivor since 2000 with complications from the treatments and thus has not been able to work since then. She has to clean the house, do the laundry, take care of business matters because she can't trust her husband with money, and for the last two years, she's been co-exectrix of her mother's big estate after her death 2 years ago. Frankly, she hasn't had the time of energy to think about retirement; what she's entitled to from work that she was not sure about, etc. because we have worked for the same group. After helping her make one last course correction, she told me on the phone that it was so nice to have someone care so much about her. Poor thing, that what a good brother is for.

It's a long sad story, but that is all I'll say about her husband other that I praise God for my Lexapro when he is around. My two sons either go up into my man cave or go walk the dog of something. My wife takes more of her anti-anxiety pills.

My wife had to go to the doctor about her sinus infection that would not go away. He prescribed her some meds. She's still sleeping in the bed that she went to after surgery so that her left leg would be easy to get out of the bed. At 4 ft 9, she has to go up steps to get into our big queen sized bed that I've been falling out of before moving to another room. She's still in that room because she doesn't want me to catch her sinus infections since I'm very susceptible to those kinds of things. I'm in this room because I don't fall out of the bed. It has a firmer mattress and the side I had been falling out of the bed on is up against a wall. Also, this was the room to be in after her surgery and going to rehab. I'm across the hall from her and can hear her easier in here.

Even further away from my is my God sister whom my dad had been her God father. She's going through a lot with being her husband's caregiver and he is very, very sick. So, I'm in touch with her often doing what I can.

I have one more person on my concern and support list, but she is a survivor like me and we have been surviving life since before we met in high school. I think that is one thing that brought us together. She's my unofficial sister that I never had otherwise. She has said that she appreciates how I can be the wind beneath her wings at times when she needs it.

Oh, I have been encouraging friends to get on here as they deal with their aging parents. I've described how great this anonymous group is with information and support. I pray that the government will pass an emergency bill soon!

One of these days, my wife and I will return to our room. I hope this bolster pillow helps keep me from falling out of that bed. This bed I'm in now is firmer. We may need a new mattress that is firmer and maybe not as thick for the other bed.

This seems like a good time to come back around AC for awhile, as I'm very recently out of work due to the measures to contain covid-19 spread.

I've missed this place and all who participate. Things have been good in my Life, mostly routine the past year and I have very little anxiety disorder any more.

I'll read some, but please tell me how you are doing, and how you are coping with any changes to your life due to covid prevention measures.

I pray everyone remains safe and untouched by this virus as well as maintaining high spirit in this trying time.

Girlsailor, I hope your new knee joint okay, all the best and god speed healing.

Glad, hopefully you were all safe and didnt exposed to the virus.

Golden, always good to hear from you.

Barb, thank you for your brutal honesty. I just cant bare the thought of my mother needing to be in a nursing home. I thank you for slowly battering that possibility in my head to a point where I can see it could be a true possibility.,

I am truly hoping that with proper homecare we can handle her needs and keep her safe. Yes my mother needs monitoring. She keeps putting things in the toilet its backed up.,, I am plunging daily when I get off and come in. I bought a snake thurs, uncloged the toilet and friday evening it was backed up again. I am calleing this service c alled cheap somebody's plumbing 49.99 hour on my next time off.

Nephew nor sister seem to be concerned or to even notice it. Its so sad. And whats worse is now with this virus it will problably be another year or more before it is legally addressed.

I fight depression and frustration and anger on the reg.

Cant even call the prayer line because they are closed!~!!! Lol

On the real side, sometimes when I am off I dont even want to go down to my mother. I have never felt that way. I just dread sometimes looking at the toilet over flowed or full of sh**. I just get overwhelmed. I know its going to work out and I do get over these moments and I have to program my heart and mind for another year of this nonsense before help or something serious happens.


Rays of love, healing and protection to all.

Sleep tight and be safe.

Sorry for my long absence.. Too much, including the Covid-19, going on. Be careful everyone,

answry - what a mess. Less help hardly seems the right thing. I guess you haven't quite completely walked away if you still have to deal with finances. Can they hire someone to do that Where is the lack of peace coming from? Walking away means letting go.

goodbird - agreed dysfun family members can be worse and they are disrespectful. You probably are being taken advantage of and being used.

duck - things are happening! Glad you have
some ideas for yourself. Keep documenting.

yoda - good news about your wife. I am glad you have felt support. We all need it.

glad - so happy for you that you had a good visit with your son and dgd. A woman with a sewing business would be a great resource for you. Keep us updated. Your assistant could have covid. Better to be careful. You are in the middle of it!!! Definitely falsehood about no contagion without a fever from what I have read. Hope you get the test results soon. Glad you got home safely but no power is a pain. We have had a lot of that over the years. Look after yourself.

girlsaylor - stuff s scarce or overpriced on amazon I found. I am not doing stores. I did find some TP online at a reasonable price. Hope you get hubbies issues sorted out. My thyroid is a bit off to. Doesn't help anything, Yes, there's always something,

sissisu - if you can't go you can't go. Your mum might get a refill now with the covid around.

My thyroid has been off which doesn't help the energy levels, but they are coming back. Usual allergies/nasal stuff acting up. Apparently a drippy nose is not part of the covid infection, I decided over a week ago to self isolate for my own protection. I do most of my shopping online anyway and have found that one grocery store here delivers and my pharmacy delivers free for seniors. Awesome!!! I believe we have one case here in town now that has been recently diagnosed and likely several more undiagnosed as the thing is so contagious. I spent some time in the past while figuring out new safe routines for doing things like getting the mail. The virus lives on metal surfaces for a few days at least. It is hard to break old habits and develop new ones. The groceries come to the door but are they safe? Ity lives on plastic for a few days. I have Lysol wipes, peroxide, alcohol and bleach as well as soap and water. Found it hard to find my usual brand of dish soap, and I need it as I am allergic to many others, I had to search online for TP. Sigh. Crazy times.

Final estate stuff till hanging around. I told the lawyers office to deal with it. The very nice assistant is working from home with 2 preschoolers. That can't be easy.

Oldest son is on isolation (not going to work) as he has a cough. He did the online self assessment and called the appropriate number and was told to isolate but he didn't need a test. I know the availability of testing kits is an issue in many places.

I suspect we will be on self isolation for some time so I have shelved planning a move for now though will continue to sort out what I do and do not want so I will be ready to act when the situation is safe. Our city has done away with recycling for now so everything goes in the trash

The kitties are care free and cuddly and as they were which is comforting. Hope everyone is doing well.

Because of possible exposure, my office was shut down today. Hoping assistant can get a test to at least eliminate the possibility.

Glad,

Our football coach, New Orleans Saints just tested positive and he already said that he has no fever. So, you’re absolutely right. Not everyone gets fever.

What a day! Office was closed to the general public. Yesterday one of my assistants came in with a cough. Thought about sending her home first thing in the morning, now probably should have. She said she did not have a fever. Falsehood about fever you are not contagious, especially with this CV! Met with the powers that be yesterday afternoon, heard her coughing, said she shouldn't be there. When we left yesterday, told her not to come in today. This morning she texts me this is silly. Told her sorry, powers wanted her to stay home. Then she calls after lunch today, she has a fever! Who knows. My other assistant is immune-compromised. Know nothing yet, of course.

Then we are under blizzard warning. The highway to my house had closed. Usually, powers let us know and send us home. Not today. Probably because they decided today to close to the general public. Sent them an e-mail when I found out, telling them the highway to my home was closed. UGH!

With the blizzard, got home no power, no garage opener, I have now been home for three hours and the power just came on, thank goodness. Now I can watch my evening shows and the house will warm up! And car is put away and should thaw out overnight and I can just chill. I am worn out!

So today I saw my internist. She ordered more bloodwork, thyroid was off a month ago. Also wants to check my A1c since she reduced my diabetes meds (I was the model diabetic, working very hard to eat carefully, since I’m not on insulin). My reward for being very disciplined was having meds reduced, so have to restrict carbs even further, down to keto level, in order to control blood sugar. Gee thanks doc. She is leaving the blood pressure meds as is for now.
Tomorrow I see the podiatrist for toenail trim. Hope eventually he can get the painful pincer nails to not curl so badly. He doesn’t want me cutting my own toenails, doesn’t want me to accidentally nick the cuticle, due to the diabetes.
I have to call the knee surgeon tomorrow. My brand new knee is warm to the touch. Shouldn’t have infection seven weeks out. Pray a round of antibiotics will be all that’s needed. I don’t want either of us in hospital, given the current Coronavirus situation.
Hubs just broke the news, his legs are cramping and hurting. He’s been keeping it secret while I’ve been trying to get my worn out joints replaced.. The man has a terrible vascular system; so many stents and patches, I’ve lost count. Where we used to live the interventional cardiologist (aka root rooters) did the leg artery procedures in his facility. Where we are now, looks like if he needs more arteries opened up, will have to do it in hospital Cath lab. It isn’t something we can put off, if an artery or two is closing up more. He was about 50% occluded last ultrasound. Have been expecting this, but was hoping I could get the right knee replacement and the left hip revision before he went downhill again. Because there’s nobody to take care of him, except moi. They aren’t scheduling elective surgeries now, no matter how bad one’s joint is. And, I don’t want to be in a hospital and exposed to the newest plague right now.
Too dang many medical problems!
On a bright note, I climbed up into hubs truck, drove it today. Haven’t been able to get up in it for nearly a year, because my joints are so worn out. Took his truck because the dang check engine light came on in my very old sedan. Since we just had to replace the HVAC system here, I need to get HVAC paid for before I can have my car looked at.
It’s always something.

So today I saw my internist. She ordered more bloodwork, thyroid was off a month ago. Also wants to check my A1c since she reduced my diabetes meds (I was the model diabetic, working very hard to eat carefully, since I’m not on insulin). My reward for being very disciplined was having meds reduced, so have to restrict carbs even further, down to keto level. Gee thanks doc. She is leaving the blood pressure meds as is for now.
Tomorrow I see the podiatrist for toenail trim. Hope eventually he can get the pincer nails to not curl so badly. He SOE sent want me cutting my own toenails, doesn’t want me to accidentally Nick the cuticle, due to the diabetes.
I have to call the knee surgeon tomorrow. My brand new knee is warm to the touch. Shouldn’t have infection seven weeks out. Pray a round of antibiotics will be all that’s needed. I don’t want either of us in hospital, given the current Coronavirus situation.
Hubs just broke the news, his legs are cramping and hurting. The man has terrible vascular system, so many stents and patches, I’ve lost count. Where we used to live the interventional cardiologists (aka root rooters) did the leg artery procedures in his facility. Where we are now, looks like if he needs more arteries opened up, will have to do it in hospital Cath lab. It isn’t something we can put off, if an artery or two is closing up more. He was about 50% occluded last ultrasound. Have been expecting this, but was hoping I could get the right knee replacement and the left hip revision before he went downhill again. Because nobody to take care of me. They aren’t scheduling elective surgeries now, no matter how bad one’s joint is. And, I don’t want to be in a hospital and exposed to the newest plague right now.
Too dang many medical problems!
On a bright note, I climbed up into hubs truck, drove it today. Haven’t been able to get up in it for nearly a year, because my joints are so worn out. Took his truck because the dang check engine light came on in my very old sedan. Since we just had to replace the HVAC system here, I need to get it paid for before I can have my car looked at.
It’s always something.

Sissisu, sports? Lots of people going through withdrawal. I have YouTube TV, an app on Roku. There are many recorded games of all sorts on it, on several channels. Maybe that would help to settle her down. There must be recorded games on ESPN, etc too, I would think.

I hope everyone is safe and doing well. It's been sort of quiet with Mom. I've not been to her place since Christmas which was awful. She's still got her tree up, insisting that I need to put it away. It's just her being vengeful. My brother offered to put it away, but he "does so much". He gets the few groceries she asks for, and take out food. She did not go out during most of the winter, went out briefly a week ago to get her hair cut. She's not been seeing her doctor, whom she never liked, now calling him an SOB. She has one bp prescription, and she says her bp isn't really high anyhow (I think it's 150 with meds). It was 170 or 180 without. Anyhow, she keeps calling for a refill. They finally said no more refills without seeing doc. She went ballistic. It's standard practice; even one of her friends said how do they let you do that? My doctor would not. So doc calls my brother (who sees him and likes him - how dare he!) and says for your next visit (scheduled already) bring your mom in with you - we will do a twofer. Brother said you know she won't come. Yes, he was correct. Now she's saying she'll just go to a urgent care instead. I doubt they will do a long term Rx for her if they even do for bp. She said oh I don't care if I get a refill because I don't really have high bp. I didn't get into it with her, but did say well my doc wouldn't do a refill unless I saw him. Well that's different for you. All righty then, you get special treatment than anyone else. She knew I've had to work for the past 4 weekends, so she was sort of ok with me not going there. Today, out of the blue, she calls me. We're on a mandatory work from home starting today, and I was in the middle of a conf call, so her call rolled to vm. She was yelling at me - I'm evil, I have a bad soul, don't care about her, etc. I tried calling back (why I do not know) and no answer. She really thinks I'm travelling there the next weekend I'm free. That won't be happening. She'd said she was bored, no sports, nothing good on tv to watch now. (She's a sports fanatic). Of course, it's my fault because she's not living with me. And during the same call, she said well I'm tired of talking with you, got to hang up. It was a nice conversation; so if she's tired of me after 15 minutes or so, how would living with me 24/7 be? She's just probably scared and bored, and I know I'm her whipping post. She's also lashed out at my brother recently. I try not to let it get to me too much, as I have other things on my plate now. I also know her pattern; she'll be angry a few days then something will happen and she'll be almost be back to normal. Honestly, I think travel (even by car) will be restricted soon - like say more than 50 miles, so I don't think I'll be able to go there. I know the company I work for said no travel to other offices, even by car.
I hope everyone stays safe and be well.

Girlsaylor, wishing you well through these tricky times 💜