
Many of us, myself included, come from a dysfunctional family which adds a lot of weight to the challenges of caregiving. I have read stores on various threads on other topics and decided it would be good to have a thread just for this topic for people to share, vent and discuss.
The idea for this thread originated on the thread named "The Caregiver....How are YOU doing today?"
1. I'm not outside in the heat doing manual labor all day every day. At least so far, I haven't been out there watering the plants in our large front yard. We've had a good rain/sun balance so far this summer and haven't had to deal with drought. The only times I'm outside the house are if I'm standing at the door feeding the cats, tending to the trash, or running errands.
2. Outside of taking her usual pills and brushing her teeth, she's not drinking much water herself. She is drinking 2 cans of Coca Cola every day, while drinking at most 1 cup of water. Hypocrite much?
She probably thinks I'm in danger of becoming dehydrated, even though I'm drinking a few cups of water every day.
With your Mom, either just AGREE she is hard done by. That old age sucks. Give her that gift & let it go.
Or JOIN her that life sucks & wallow together.
As a kid, if anyone strayed into that type of talk it could be lightened up by someone stating "Well I lived in a shoebox in the mddle of the road.."
If you've not seen it, google Monty Python Four Yorkshireman (The Good Old Days). Now that's how to enjoy a proper pity party! 🤣
She told that to the person that's been forced to be her hands and feet and severely limit his own life in the process. No vacation in nearly 8 years. I've been outside of my home county ONCE in 7 years and I had to wait nearly 6 years to do so. No social life. And I'm severely limited in how long I can be out of the house.
I may be able to walk, go to the bathroom without using a potty chair, get a shower regularly, and drive, but I can't do much else. I just wish she would finally get the ball rolling with my grandmother's bank accounts and get our names on them so I can finally have the financial leverage to put her in the nursing home. There was a story on the local news yesterday about getting regular checkups at the doctor and she opted to mute the TV during that news story.
I will say she deeded me the house next door to us a couple of weeks ago and the rent house is officially in my name. However, the overprotection, overwork, refusal to let me have breaks and help, and refusing to see things from my perspective make that major moment more minor as a result.
bob - your mom is really restrictive to you. You know you can make your own judgement if it is safe or nor. It';s healthier for you to set your own limits. It's not up to her to live your life for you.
As life is fairly stable I've had a chance to reflect on just how much sh*t I've been through most of my life with my dysfunctional family. It's a lot!!! I'm glad to be at a stage where life feels safer and I have distance between the remains of my family. Peace is a priority as I age.,
A few nights ago late at night, I was emptying a pot of old spaghetti in the side yard. We live next to a small forrest. It took about 10-20 seconds to go out, do it, and go back in the house. Out and back in ASAP.
I've done it before but I never told her. When I told her on this occasion, she didn't like that. And I had my phone with me, something she always wants me to do whenever I go outside for ANYTHING, and I had the outdoor lights on, as I always do when I'm outside at night for whatever reason. She was somehow of the impression that I didn't have the outdoor lights on and I walked out in pitch black darkness. It was either that or pour the juice in the kitchen sink and risk stopping the sink up. And I recently got the Drano on that sink to stop the build up.
She insists that I don't do that anymore. She was like "there's snakes out there," even though we rarely get snakes. The only living beings out there were 2 of our cats and a couple of raccoons that ran off as soon as I stepped outside.
im starting to go through my husbands belongings. Clothing I will donate. Who knows what I will do with the rest. Of course anything that has sentimental value to family I will offer to family.
I hope everyone is having a decent summer.
I've been needing some quiet time.
Vermont is a lovely state. I visited there once in the fall and the colouring was gorgeous. Maple walnut used to be my fave ice cream, next to chocolate, of course.
Me and hubs explored Vermont today! Had a nice day!! Pulse a really good maple flavored ice cream cone!!
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Don’t let idiots ruin your day.
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It’s my turn
to take a
selfish.
She just called, she has covid and was scared to death hubs got it. He is fine, he would of come down with it by now. Just interesting anyways
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The longer you live in the past, the less future you have to enjoy.
😉🥰
I'm not sure what's tighter: my jeans from high school or my grip on the past.
🌸🌸🙂🙂
When you finally let go of the past,
something better comes along.
🌸🌸😉😉
Been there, done that.
Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.
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Sometimes the best helping hand you can give is a good, firm push.
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The only decent thing to do behind a person’s back
is to pat it.
🙂🙂🙂
Opinions aren’t facts. Stop worrying about what people think about you…
🙂🌸
Don’t let
people decide who you are.
🙂🌸
Call me anti-social.
But please don’t call me.
🙂🌸
Your opinion
is not my reality.
😉
Sometimes I feel stupid.
Then I look at you and it’s better.
🙂
Due to not wanting to,
I will not.
😉
I am never sure if I am socially awkward or the person I am talking to is.
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Don’t let little, stupid people
break your happiness.
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Sometimes giving someone a second chance is like giving them an extra bullet for their gun because they missed you the first time.
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A lot of stuff broke my heart, but fixed my vision.
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Not everyone staring at you is admiring you.
Some are amazed you survived the traps they set for you.