The Caregiver & Dysfunctional Families: How are you doing?

no ideas but here is a ((((((((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))). I am so sorry that your dad just lies there. Prayers for today in court to go in your favour, and for you to feel strong and at peace. Let us know what happens. Can you consider the hearing aides lost so insurance would cover them? I know they are very expensive to replace. Would one of the cheaper versions help -ear phones connected to the tv etc.

Hi all - just came on here quick as have been distraught as of late due to this legal mess Mom and sis have waged me into.........I even (my sheer accident) got a letter from a neighbor (just a hi and bye neighbor) that she saw my sister enter my home on June 4 and remain in the home for close to an hour........which means my initial suspicions were correct with the missing house key and all and even so with my bipolar and ptsd, am stressed to the hilt - have to appear in court this friday for pre trial .........they say it is for a continuance but I don't know............not feeling very well and takes every ounce of strength to get through each day..........still no hearing aides for Dad - that is two months now........nurses claim mom took them.........so what is it her goal to punish him for when he was drinking that she will not even allow him to hear tv?? My God, the man can move no part of his body.........this is killing me,,,,,,,,,,,,don't know if I can get some sort of advocate involved...........she does have dpoa but she also has a sign on wall saying to put in Dad's dentures (which is dumb as it is harboring bacteria - eats only pureed foods) and his hearing aides..........any ideas anyone??

(((((((sharyn))))))) so glad your mum is safe. What a wonderful lady the 92 yr old is. Amazing! It does seem like it is time for your mum to get more care by moving into a facility. I know this won't be easy. You have my prayers. The conditions of the POA make caring for her very difficult.
thanks for your comments about me and my daughter. She does tend to be very self centered.She came down when Gordie was in hospital but did not stay for the funeral.That upset one of her brothers very much. I have rarely seen him mad. My thanksgiving,, as other holidays, is spent alone. I used to get invitations from my daughter to join them but that has dropped off. My son and dil here had their own plans. They have been very good at taking us out for a meal once in a while, and we reciprocate.. My food allergies (wheat and dairy) can make joining others at meals a problem -church pot lucks etc.My daughter used to avoid both of those, and made very good substitutions. I have good memories of those times..This is a strange city for friends. The average stay for a family was 5 years. It seemed like you just made a friend, then they moved. I finally stopped trying. Work friends on the whole are just that, though I do keep up with a few.. It is a city of young people - very few my age, and the ones I have met I don't have much in common with. Divorce many years ago, and then losing Gordie, both took a toll on aquaintances. They say after losing a child, your address book changes, and it is true. Gary is away every weekend with work, or the horses, and, for the most part, I don't mind. We are working on finding time for "us" in his busy schedule. I made myself a turkey dinner with a turkey breast etc, got dressed up, and had a nice meal anyway. I will cook a turkey for him later in the week. Gordie loved a turkey dinner, so I do it for him too, if that makes any sense. I will put flowers on his bench for his birthday. You don't stop wanting to do things for them.
Mother has been emailing, and I haven't answered. She just wants social contact at this point, but I am sure the demands will follow.They always do.
And so life goes on.
margeaux - How is your mum? You mentioned she may be declining a bit, if I remember right.
austin - where are you????? haven't seem you post for a while. I miss you!
regan - I wish you could get some help looking after your sis particularly. It sounds almost like she needs to be in a facility. What a dreadful shame that she is doing this to herself. It must be very hard to watch.
book -you are one tough lady! I saw somewhere that your sis in moving in with you. I hope that she will be helpful and give you some breaks. You sure don't need another person to look after. Sorry your dad is so difficult
cmag -hope your wife's leg is healing and you have sorted out the phone problem
burned -hang in there - you have a big load. It would be great if you could move to a larger place and start a "new" life.
don't mean to leave anyone out - you all are precious
hope the week ahead does not bring too many new challenges
Love, hugs and prayers for all Joan

Joan~I hope your Thanksgiving Day with family and friends was a good one!! I had a stressful day and it being my first day back at work. I am not going to retell it as you can read it on the YOU thread. Long story short is my mom left her house this morning walking on her own. Caused me considerable panic and stress. I did catch up with her and the rest everyone can read on the YOU thread. Tonight mom told me she was running a fever...I said well no wonder!! You haven't been feeling well and you took off walking all over the place today!!! I am taking her to the dr. in the morning. Joan, I don't know what is going on with your daughter, but I do not see how you are negative. You have been one of the most uplifting people I have met on this site. I am sorry she has put this off on you when it sounds like it is her own issues and inability to really understand what you are going through. I can say that from my own experiences, children can have a hard time relating to the difficulties we are going through with their grandparents. In your daughters case, it sounds like she has her own issues, whether she has a PD or not I don't know, only you would have a good knowledge of her history. Sometimes when I try to talk about my mother with my daughter, she doesn't respond well back. In my daughter's case, I think it is because she doesn't know what to say. I hope your daughter considers going back on the antidepressants. I know how hard this must be for you, someone you could confide in before but now is preoccupied with her own issues. I don't think that you being too negative is the issue here. It sounds like she needs stimulation to bring about good feelings which all relates to depression. (((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))) to you and i am so sorry you have this added to everything else you are dealing with right now!♥♥

Happy Thanksgiving all - though I know it is only in Canada today. I took the risk last night and emailed the cousin I talked about in the past few months. I kept it as short and to the point as I could, and we will see what his response is. I had hoped to get out of town in the next few days, but rain and snow flurries are forecast for the days I had planned to drive, the days which fit in with the plans of the people I was going to visit. I have cataracts developing and passed my "old age" drivers test this summer, but I know my vision is not as good as it was, and don't want to drive long distances when I know the visibility will not be not good, I hope I can have surgery on my worst eye next year, as the eye doc suggested - that or the years after. I hope sooner rather than later. I decided once i reached 75 I would be more careful about the conditions I drive in.
Emotional distancing is an such important tool when dealing with difficult family members. It is not easy to accomplsh, but really becessary for our survival sometimes. I am having to do this with my daughter now. She has been in depression, as far as i can see, or has something like mother has, and switched from being friendly and supportive in the summer to being sullen and non communicative since then. I am concerned from my grandchildren, and don't feel welcome to drop by any more, but I think i will anyway - just need to be sure that the children are home, and maybe better when her husband is too. He doesn't seem to notice these things. I asked her what the problem was, and she said I was negative all the time. I really don't think I am, and I have made efforts especially not to be when I talk with her, but when she asks how I am and I answer - not great - which is true some days, I guess I am being negative. I would rather she didn't ask. I called her to tell her when mother was in hospital, and apparently that is being negative. She is the only grandchild of mothers who has any regular contact with her, so in the past I have let her know when mother is in hospital. She has no girlfriends - one that she had for 10 years she got upset with in the spring, and that was the end of that. The friend said something she didn't like. She started making another friend in the summer, and then dropped her and said she was too negative. She is well educated but cannot hold down a job. She leaves jobs, because she can't cope with the people. Prayers would be appreciated. I think she needs to go on antidepressants, but she won't. She was on them before and did so much better, but won't take them now. Like mother - any problem is someone else's fault. Friday, we took a couple of box spring and mattress sets that were is the house, and not needed over for the grandchildren, and got not a hello, a thank you or a good bye. I told her we would have appreciated a thank you. It was after that, when I asked her what the problem was, she said I was too negative.

Sharyn, yesterday I was watching that show about the city meter people giving tickets regarding the meters, parking the wrong way, or parking at a no-parking area. One young man parked on the side of the road and got a ticket for parking there. His mother walks up and said, "I told you not to park here. Now you have to learn your lesson. I told you not to park here." Sometimes, kids think they know everything or know better than the old folks. They just have to learn the hard way from their actions. Like you said, they need to learn to get their finances in order.

Regan~What a tough situation with your sister! I suggest you start detaching emotionally from her. This doesn't mean you no longer care about her. Setting boundaries and distancing yourself protects you from being as hurt plus it gives you a different perspective of the situation so you are not caught up in the chaos of her addiction. There is a lot of information on the web about emotionally detaching with love from toxic relationships that may help you.

Well, my son and daughter-in-law can't get a loan anywhere for a car. This time it seems no one is available to help them out so I am hoping they learn to get their finances in order now. Time will tell.

Margeaux~Most of what of I bought was silk flowers which we hit the sales on @ 50% off, good buys. The cost of living is lower there so things like gas, home prices,etc are lower than here in California. I am sorry to hear your mother's memory is declining. It is hard to witness. My mother does not take any medication, she refuses because she claims she has every side effect listed when she takes something. The dizziness and nausea she had on Friday she is blaming on the cholesterol medication her cardiologist prescribed a couple weeks ago. She was using the walker on Friday and she said it got tangled up in the throw rugs she has on the kitchen floor. Yesterday she complained of being exhausted and her memory was very poor too. She asked me if my mother was working today (Sunday). I told her no...didn't see any point in telling her she was my mother. Sis and I talked yesterday and we are going to get her in to the dr. to rule out any infections, virus...especially a UTI.
Lily~I am sorry you have such a disconnected family. I don't know why families disconnect like that. I have a brother who won't have anything to do with us. We were abused as children and I know this is why, but my brother also is holding grudges against saying we didn't keep in touch with him when he moved out of state. We all did try to stay in touch but we never heard from him. His wife sent us updates on their life but never heard anything from my brother. None of us really knew his wife and I guess it was wrong of us, but we wanted to hear from him not her. My mother is also not one to let you hug her. When my father had Alzheimer's I would try to hug my mother when she was stressed or hurting and she would push me away. I don't try to hug her anymore except when she is sick, that is the only time she will accept it.

Hi Lillyvalley – sorry to hear how bad the family dynamics are. I will make no comment about the woman who gave birth to you. My father was bad to my brothers while growing up – but he’s nothing compared to yours. Thanks for dropping by and telling us about you. Yep, it sure sounds like you have a dysfunctional family. Welcome to this discussion! Please feel free to vent here.
Margeaux – Sorry about your mom’s short term memory going. What makes it worse is the niece adding to the problem instead of helping relieve it.
Prodigalson – It’s hard when the parent refuses outside help. The same applies with my father. He doesn’t want the caregiver I have to come in on Saturdays. I told her in the beginning that I am the one hiring her – not my father. He keeps telling me to tell her to stop coming. She still comes because who is there to watch the parents? I did warn her about my father’s “quirks.”
Emjo – I don’t know what to say about what you’re going thru with Gordie. Just know that since you’ve mentioned it, I have been thinking of you.
Hi Reganee –not knowing what’s going on with your sister, but can she qualify for some kind of program that she can go to? And this way, it will relieve you and your mother temporarily from her influence? Please continue to drop by and vent if you need to.

My dysfunctional is a sister just a year old then me and on meds; who only sobers up to see her doctors. She has pretty much written life off except when she is off being the best friend to her medical community. She is breaking our hearts, we are exhausted taking care of her.
My mother is 90 and looks like my sister's younger sister. My sibs were caring but they are sick of the mess our sister has made of herself. I live in fear that my sister will die and send my mother downhill, so I try to make the best of everything. But it is wearing me out and I do deeply resent being responsible for someone so selfish and manipulating.

Sharynmarie, sounds like you had a great time with your daughter n you needed the break. I too feel like I don't won't to leave everytime I go to Ocala n spend time with my family n I love the country more than the city living. Glad you had a great time.
Emjo-jone, Holidays can be hard when u have loss someone dear n close n especially your own child. I too could not even put my place in your shoes of all the emotions that has to be running through your mind. I hope you r able to find this holiday as peaceful as possible n like Sharynmarie mention that, "Thanksgiving is a great time to honor your son." Your son is in a much better place n he would only want you to enjoy life n the holidays.
Margeaux, you have such a big heart.
Lilyvalley, elderly care does take a toil on us. I wander sometimes if its the family members that have no clue of caregiving if they struggle to ask questions or struggle to whether to hear the answers? I guess that is why we r the caregivers for we understand n have learned from past caregiving experience. Take a bow n don't let the relatives bother you for they have no clue.

Thanks marg. I use candles. Since Gordie died, I have always had a special candle for him. It seems to be a matter of remembering, and including him in some way, and honouring the time we had with him.It helps to bring the feelings out. I can see that going over to your mum's can be unpleasant.
sharyn - glad your mum is better - hope it is nothing more than the vertigo she has had before
burned -glad you are cutting back -that can only be good for you and everyone - hope you can keep it up
book - look after yourself -dizziness is no good
lillyvalley -sounds pretty tough - what you describe of your mum - "arrogant, self serving, opinionated as they are. But my mother is also selfish and hateful" I can identify. Makes life difficult
the prodigalson - tough situation, were you the faimly scapegoat? Seems they often turn out to be the caregive too. Congratulations on 7 years sober.I think they often don't remember outbursts, but we are left to deal with the hurts.
cmag -have you solved the phone problem?
Hope everyone is having a good weekend

Just about to go over to 87yr old Dads, who has seveally increasing vascular dementia.I am only one within 3000 miles who can provide for him, not financially but with the increasing things hes unable to do any more.I am also the problem child which I am constantly reminded of. But tht was 7 years ago now I am able to take care of myself and my father, to the degree he will let me.The part that hurts the most is he treats me as if I am the crazy alcoholic that I was 7+yrs ago. Its like hes stuck in a time warp!. The irony is that I had SEVERE physical&mental problems before I ever started drinking/using.Having those problems starting at 11yrs old ad getting ignored or mocked by himfor them makes it a struggle to have patience and compassion for him now that he needs me.theres no one else within 3000 miles.he will not tolerate a caregiver in home so its me or else. An interesting thing just happened 3 days ago,without provocation he was really vulgar and insulting to me after i got over being angry, I realized it was a releif to hear how he reaaly feels rather than what he usually does which is bottle it up and of course the hostility comes out in other ways.any way he probally does not even remember his outburst the other day. I pray to God for strenghth and the ability to see him as a sick scared human being. It would have been nice if someone would have done the same for tha afformentioned terrified sick 11 yr old. my faith and trust in God will get us through.He hasnt brought me this far to drop me back on the streets!

Well last few weeks I've received emails from my sister about mom, and that her short term memory is really going. She told me that they'd been out all day last Sunday, and when they were back at home, mom asked her, whether they'd gone anywhere that day. I was having a rather bad day, the day I read this, so I decided to go to mom's, fearing maybe she wouldn't remember me.

Then when I arrived there, mom was having a very sleepy day. She was sleeping on the couch, and when I noticed her waking up, I immediately went over to hug and kiss her. She responded, and went back to sleep. So I've accepted this as normal, nowadays. I did stay for about 5 hrs., finally she woke up when I was getting ready to leave. But oh well, at least she saw me.

On that visit though, it was a very hot day. Mom was curled up under a blanket, and when I did say hello to her, I noticed she had cold body language. I went over to check the thermostat, and it was at 76. I turned it down to 70. I did tell the caregiver, that the thermostat needs to be at 70, as it is hot, but no elder, nor baby (niece's baby) being cared for by the caregiver, and my other niece (baby's aunt) should be exposed to those unnatural temperatures.

But I'm not really sure who is the person who cranks up the AC, since the caregiver and my niece are there. My niece (she's the problem one) I've written about who lives there was downstairs the whole time, as upstairs doesn't have AC. She tended to the baby. But while he was sleeping, she was stretched out on the couch lying down like a princess watching tv. I did ask her whether she'd resumed her college courses, to which she replied, "No." My sister, and she said that day that niece is helping her sister by baby sitting my sister's first grandchild.
Well, maybe this is none of my business, but given this niece's behavior in the past of being a lazy moocher, and seems to use her pursuit of college edu., just to keep my sister on the financial chain towards her. She's 22 yrs. old.

So I stayed out of the living room the whole time, in the kitchen reading and looking over some papers. Anyway, this is one of the unpleasant aspects of going over there to visit mother. But I'm glad that I went. Margeaux

Thanks Cmagnum, thumbs up! I struggle with highly educated siblings. They are arrogant, haughty, self serving and dangerously opinionated. They run to the nursing home once a week to see our sick elderly mother, clearing their conscience. Whether this falls into the category of dysfunctional I don't know Cmag. We don't call each other on the phone and have a regular conversation.. We talk to each other going in and out of the nursing home. We don't visit each other homes. The family bond broke (35) years ago when our father passed away. (8) siblings and we are so far apart like east from west. We try to be civil in the presence of our elderly mother who is suffering from a massive stroke in a nursing home, but that's about it. My mother is no help. She's just as arrogant, self serving, opinionated as they are. But my mother is also selfish and hateful
and when we all try to give her a hug, she turns into a "Iceberg". Dysfunctional, I don't know? Elderly care takes a toil on everyone, each family member experiences their own personal pains, struggles and wanting answers to questions that are too hard to ask!

Sharynmarie,

How great that you could have some fun with your daughter!
So was it good shopping out in Idaho?

When mom started to fall, is when we actually found out she'd been taking meds for ALZ, since mom and the narcissistic sister of hers were trying to keep it under wraps. I know my aunt, & even mother were really trying to control their independence via this behavior. When a more serious fall occurred with mom, she was admitted to the hospital. After a check-up, they found she needed a heart pacer, since her heart apparently was not functioning properly. This could have been why she was loosing her balance, and falling, since it happened more than once. After this stay in the hospital, it was determined that the POA, who was my irresponsible brother at the time, by law had to take charge of them. They could no longer live alone.

Well, it could be that your mom's ALZ is progressing, and be that turning point you'd written about in previous posts. But dizziness could also be a contributing factor to a fall.

Anyway, I'm so happy for you that you and your husband had the vacation with your daughter and son-in-law. You more than deserve it!
Much Love, Margeaux

Hi Emjo,

It's difficult whenever holidays and birthdays come up and we have a loved one who is no longer with us. I remember when it was the first years after having lost dad, this would happen. It still is hard, when St. Patrick's Day comes, which is his birthday. You know what helps me, is I burn some sage. I don't know whether you like sage, but it seems to evaporate some of those sad feelings for me, clear the air. You can even do this with your favorite cent, doesn't have to be sage, any
incense or candle of your choice, and cherish Gordie's memory.
Your in my thoughts Emjo, and I send you big hugs, know that you are not alone,
we are all with you! Plenty of Love & Light! Margeaux

Thanks sharyn ((((hugs))))

My mother is better. My sis spent the night with her last night and she thinks mom was dehydrated since it has been so hot here, she refuses to use the A/C. Sis got her some soup and water and by this morning she was much better. It could be because I was gone, that mom went into one of her episodes of being abandoned and neglected that she wasn't taking care of herself. Sis said she called my brother to go over to mom's house since he lives closer and would get there faster than her. Mom had blood on her shirt and face from one of the falls she had and apparently hit her nose. We are going to have to watch her more closely to see if this is an isolated case or advancing alzheimers.
Joan~I know about the past hurts from family dynamics makes it difficult to move forward or to put things in the past especially when you have new hurts piling on top. I hope you can reach some decisions soon for your peace of mind. I have not experienced the loss of a child as you have with Gordie, but I do know that it has to be very painful. I just can't imagine the loss and I wish I had something more to offer you to help you with that pain. Do know that I am thinking about you and wish you the most positive, heartfelt thoughts that I can. Thanksgiving is a great time to honor your son and I wish you and your loved ones a Happy Thanksgiving!!

Hope your mum is OK, sharyn. So glad you had a good vacation. Glad too that you let you son work out his own finances. My kids have borrowed from me once in a while, but always pay me back. If they didn't I wouldn't do it again. I am dealing with old hurts triggered by new ones from mother, and really want to unload them, and will see what my counsellor says next appointment.She said she wanted time to think about it. I know I have to distance more to prevent more hurt - hard to heal when more keeps coming. Gordie's birthday on Oct 10th and Canadian Thanksgiving this weekend, coming up brings up feelings too. Well, life goes on... Hope eveyone is having a good weekend. Joan

Oh yes, I am glad it is at the end of my vacation. My sis was not happy when I called her last night to look in on mom. She said, "Why didn't she tell me?" I said, "Because she doesn't know, she doesn't ever remember having had vertigo before." I told her don't sweat it! Sis had to drive to Manteca from Galt and I know she doesnt like driving after dark, her stamina is low because of her health but you know, Im 9 hours away by car so make do til Im there. Welcome to my world sis!!

Hi Sharyn, look in the positive side of this...at least mom called you at the END of your vacation! I get dizzy and nausea when I have urinary/bladder infection. I'm thinking mine came back cuz the dizziness is getting worse. Nausea only when I drink water. Go figure! Anyway, I'm glad you all enjoyed yourself!

I just talked with my mother. She said she does not feel well has fallen twice today. I asked her what her symptoms were, she said she is dizzy and nauseous. Okay, we are dealing with another episode of vertigo. I told her I would call Kathy (sis) and she will call her. Called my sister and she is now on her way to Manteca from Galt. Mom will need to be looked after and spend time in bed until it passes usually a few days. Yay...a great end to my vacation but like I told my sister...it's life don't stress the small stuff!!

Hi Everyone!!
We arrived in the Boise area around 9am Monday morning. My daughter and I hit the stores by 10:30am and shopped until around 3:30pm. I can't sleep in the car so I had been awake since 8am Sunday. I did catch a couple hours after my daughter and I came home in the afternoon. Everything I bought I can justify except for the pair of Toms, Lol!! My daughter cooked dinner every night except tonight...she and her husband are having dinner with SIL's father who flew in from North Dakota for dental work. The more I come here, the more I want to live here. We leave tomorrow morning for home :(. Every time I spend time with my kids and we have to part, it is like the first time all over again. Mike and I went into Boise and walked along the greenbelt river trails that follow the Boise River. We got some pics of Autumn foliage and had a quite day together. Over all we had great quality time or should I say...Girls,
They want,
Wanna have fun.
Girls,
Wanna have.

They just wanna,
They just wanna.....
They just wanna,
(Oh....)
They just wanna.....
(Girls just wanna have fun...)
Oh...

Girls just wanna have fu-un... enough said. Catch up with everyone this next week!!!

Jessie- I can so relate with you. Some circumstances different with me. However, I am glad to read your honesty .
notlikemom- I know about the cooking issue. mom cooked the best food and didnt make a mess. she was quick and I admired that. Now that I am here, she has annoyed me to no end. many of you all may have read some of my stuff. I can relate to the manipulation etc. I do not have answers as I am still swimming upstream. Any advice or suggestions completely welcome.
I think maybe it would be good to let them make large lunches and you not feel quilty about that. hugs to you both

ARRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!! Sorry, just had to get that out to others who will understand completely.

wow that is a puzzler and for u to be charged for it...i do hope u get it straighten it out reasonably and no further chaos ensues from it. On the other hand I have found a reasonable apartment in Tucson...hurrah with lots of amenities and the like for the kids and a nice school system and i can continue to get more hrs as caregiver to continue what i am doing. First things first ...I need a vehicle and be able to ren U haul and then have enough to put down rent and deposit best part most of the utilities are covered huzzah for my family. But I have to get a job or two here in town to save up money for it and clear my school loans etc. to save for the vehicle and get my license and be able to make payments on the vehicle etc...ajo is nice but for better treatment for my husband need to be in a city I guess when I thought i could enjoy this small town but its outgrowing my needs to be self sufficient so i cannot wait to start this 3rd moving adventure when ready so pray for our success it has a 1 to 2 yr waiting list. we need it big time:)

Just when I think mom's situation in the nursing home has reached a predictable state, I get her phone bill and wonder about 5 long distant calls to the same number and two of them before 6 am. I called customer service and discovered she's been calling this lady thinking that she is contacting her daughter in law. Funny thing is that both the lady being called and my wife share the same first name. The phone number that my mother is calling is not even in my area code nor close to my home or cell phone number. I am going to call the nursing home in the morning and talk with the social worker to see if they have any advice. Another strange thing is that I've visited in both August and September, but my mother never mentioned trying to call me or my wife on the telephone.

Burned, good for you holding on n at least you r trying to slack off the drinking n I hope u r able to get some help to fully quit someday. If u read my post earlier you know about my mom n alcohol. My dad as well dranked until he was diagnosed with Alcohol dementa. To this day, I cannot stand alcohol because of seeing the effects it had on both my parents. My sister on the other hand does have a problem n she will have to make her own decision whether to quit when she is ready n if ever. I still love her no matter what, just as you no longer hate your sister. As for your hubby, just tell him that you get nothing for free in this world. Get some rest zzzzzzzzzzz

hi all,
I just found i am going to be aunt 2x over my sister is due with her 5th baby in Jan and my other friend who married childmo is having his baby. I look back on this think and who is in their right mind. I no longer hate my sister just refuse to talk to her and last time I said something to my parents my mother got upset that I treated my sister coldly but I haven't talk to my siblings in forever. On the other hand my husband's family still ignores him and expects him to text which is impossible because he can't hardly do it with both hands. I have to terminate my contract with my cell phone go with prepay easier that way but its gonna hurt cuz i have to buy 2 prepay phones one for hubby and one for myself. I havent pick up much of a drink in the last few days but there are days I needed but I am not consistent like either of my fathers so I think I am doing pretty good on the other hand hubby is starting to believe in phishing emails and thought he won a laptop today and I had to keep telling him its a scam do not do it....I wonder if its a mental sign of something but other than that holding on to everyday like its a miracle.