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more words of wisdom 🙂

A liar’s worst enemy is someone with a good memory.
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more words of wisdom 🙂

When people know they did you wrong they avoid you.
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words of wisdom for today 🙂

Have you ever lost all respect for someone? Like you don’t hate them but you don’t feel the need to say anything to them anymore.
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Bob, www.outofthefog.net might be a helpful website for you to peruse.
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Blickbob, your moms using fear to control you, I've been there, done that.

Have you read up on the Gray Rock Method, online. If you stop giving into her anxiety, and just brush it off, it should get a little better. She is doing it for control and wants you to be as high anxiety as she is, I suspect it's working too.
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Deleted
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Bob - those kind of rules are for children, not for a grown man or woman. Adults do not have to do everything their parents or anyone else wants or tells them to do or not do. They can decide for themselves.

I understand you want to "keep the peace". However, that's very costly peace. It's costing you your independence and a life of your own.

Is it really worth it?

Wishing you the best for you in this situation.
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@Beatty

Pretty much. She values safety and security more than recovery. And it's why she shrinks my world.

I'm not allowed to shovel snow out of the driveway. Couldn't go across town to drop some things off for classmates because I didn't have a phone. Not allowed to go to my dad's best friend's funeral because of flu concerns. Have to walk through the yard and open the small fence gate to go next door and not walk next to the street and avoid the plants that are lined up along most of the fence. Can't even do a tree branch comparison.

Back in college, she tried talking me out of seeing my alma mater play a road football game an hour away from my college town citing traffic concerns in the big city that's en route and that hardly anyone from my hometown would be there. Traffic wasn't bad at all and the visitor's section was nearly full with people from my hometown. 10 years ago, she disapproved of me buying an air gun pistol. When I bought it, I was three months removed from graduating COLLEGE.

During junior high, she wouldn't let me walk home. I had to ride the bus with my dad all the way through his route twice a week. One of his stops was at the high school and our house was 60 seconds away. It took 15 minutes to walk home going the long way. The short way was a no go because of two large drainage ditches. I didn't tell her I walked home for much of my junior year of HS until I got my driver's license. She assumed I had friends give me rides home.

These are things normal parents don't pull on their adult kids. There's a reason children of overprotective parents go no contact with them once they're finally out of the nest.
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Blick, a tree can look healthy and be brittle because it is dying, it is a weird phenomenon. If the arborist said it needs cut, I would trust them. However, cut can mean trimmed up because branches get damaged and create a danger or cut down because the tree is unstable and a true hazard. If you think it wasn't a true arborist, get a second opinion, big trees are a long time replacing.
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"She's been afraid of things going wrong since she was 12"

OK. That's how she is then.

Do her feelings of fear control everything?
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@Isthisrealyreal

She did. The arborist said the tree she suspects the down branch was from needs to be cut.

I try not to rock the boat, but it gets more ridiculous. It just keeps piling up.

She mostly likely thinks I would slip and fall and hurt myself. She's been afraid of things going wrong since she was 12.
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Blick, you should call an arborist to come and check the trees.

Just curious, you say she won't let me but, she is bed ridden, how does she stop you? Think about this.
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Last week, a limb fell onto part of the fence on the rental property. It wasn't all that big, but it did somewhat damage part of the fence. My mom thinks it was from one tree, but based on the picture of the down limb, it looked like it was from a tree that was 10-15 ft away from the tree in question. Both trees are in our backyard and both are healthy.

I wanted to go out and compare and contrast the down limb from one of the limbs from the tree she thinks it came from, but she won't let me. She thinks the tree in question is the one & wants it torn down to protect both property and the renters and doesn't want me out in the backyard because it rained an inch at our house last night. It isn't flooded btw.

It's all I can do not to go off on her. It would've taken literally a minute to compare branches.
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More words for today:
🙂

You should really come with a warning label.
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Today’s words of wisdom:
⭐️⭐️⭐️

I may love to shop, but I will never buy your bull.
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Welcome, Osmosis - sorry for your dysfunctional family. It is hard to deal with. Good luck with the POA revocation. let us know what happens.

Wondering how or if I can start communication again with my dd. Her BPD has flared up with the move, she has made some unwise financial decisions which has put them under a lot of pressure (=debt) and I have bailed her and them out before but I believe that has to stop. They may as well learn better how to handle their finances now than after I and whatever money they get from me is gone.
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Quote for today:

“If their absence brings you peace, they were the problem.”
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Hi Osmosis,
I would contact APS (Adult Protective Services) about all you have told us. They can intervene to check on things for you.
I hope you will do so and let us know how that goes for you and your Mom.
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Hi osmosis, welcome to are Forum, when you get time fill out you're profile. Lots of us here have had these issues, ask anything you want in questions, or vent away.
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Not good POA not paying bills sibling intercepting mail mom's requested monthly bank statements are missing

Im trying to get POA revocation ASAP () mom's rapid recliner, her lawyer is semi-retired, not available, slow to respond. Lies told to me and about me.
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Today’s words of wisdom:
⭐️⭐️⭐️

I don’t have a problem with those who don’t like me,
but I do have a problem with those who pretend to.
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Margaret, thanks for that info. I try to keep up on that stuff, knowledge is power. I've been very lucky the drug epidemic hasn't touched my imidiate family, but I like to know what I can .
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Anyone with drug problems in their family? This mornings news here says "Nitazenes found to have caused the four deaths in Melbourne were estimated to be 100 times more potent than heroin. The manufacture of nitazenes was driven by the opioid epidemic in the US, which was creating a market for the drugs even as it killed up to 90,000 Americans annually". Yuck!
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My mom's phone has been having issues detecting the SIM card. On some occasions, it would say no SIM card and I would have to turn it off and turn it back on.

As a result, she's been using my phone of late to text and call her friends and neighbors. She has hardly been on her own to make sure it didn't get too hot and it would cause the SIM card to move out of place just enough to cause issues.

I got her an iPhone case to see if that can help remedy the SIM card situation and it doesn't get moved out of place. I got it set up and...

...she's still using my phone.

She's currently contemplating buying a tracphone. She refuses to get another iPhone and let the current one be used as an iPod Touch, even though she won't lose her texts or pictures on it.

It only gets more ridiculous. If the case doesn't remedy the situation, then it'll be proof she's on her phone way too much and at the computer too little. She was on the computer TWICE all of last year.
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that quote i posted down below is just a warning of how toxic/narc people think:

“I’m comfortable with you being my scapegoat.”
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Also today’s words of wisdom:
🙂🙂🙂

“Life is too short to be normal.
Stay weird.”
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⭐️⭐️⭐️
Today’s words of wisdom:

“The most effective way to do it, is to do it.”
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😉
Today’s words:

“I’m comfortable with you being my scapegoat.”
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@WomanWarrior - welcome to Aginc care. I hope you find the support you need here.. Other posters, including myself, are called to live like Jesus. He made the ultimate sacrifice so we could live an abundant life. No one else could make that sacrifice.
John 10:10  "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it to the full,"
The point burnt makes is a good one. We are far more limited that Jesus is. The Holy Spirit works in us to bring us to the likeness of Christ. We can't do it in our own strength nor will we reach perfection in this life.
The greatest commandment is that we love God with all our hearts and our neighbours as ourselves. In this case your neighbours are your parents. This means you count equally in the equation,
Love is seen in action. You are to do good things for yourself as much as for your parents.
If this situation is too hard on you then figure out what is loving for you as well as for your parents. They need care - it doesn't mean it has to be you doing the hands on care. If it is too hard on you it can be done by others. Jesus says his burdens are light. He does not want burdens to be too heavy for you. Yes we encounter tribulations. He also shows us the way through them. regarding boundaries. There are lots of boundaries in the bible, and consequences when they are breeched. God/Jesus is not against setting boundaries and following through with consequences, Quite the opposite. The answer is not to just tell people that they have broken your boundaries, but to then calmly to enforce the consequences. Boundaries are of no use without consequences.
All the best and prayers with and for you.🙏🙏🙏
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BOJ - Re narcissistic mothers breeding narcissistic sons - they also bred narcissistic daughters as evidenced by my sister, the golden child.
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