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Ali, I think if you have questions/concerns re mania, it is wise to talk with a dr about these issues. I remember when I had a cycle, at mid point I would kick into a high energy mode where I could just work, work, work. I do miss that energy since menopause just not the cycle.

Upset, you are moving things along and it does sound good for your mom. Keep your boundaries once she is there.

Glad, happy you missed the ice storm. Yes, I would prefer a snow storm to ice. My dad still has lots of snow, ice on the street but they have all weather tires so they can get traction for the short distance to the corner and a main plowed road.

Chris, does your mother take any rxed meds from her dr?? If so, his/her name will be on the bottle. In my state, we reported our mother to DMV as unsafe to drive. They sent her paperwork that she had to have her dr fill out and return to DMV. Of course her dr knew we did this because he suggested it. Within 6 weeks her liscense was revoked.

Stacey, happy to hear Gil has backed off. Did you ever find out when his surgery was to take place?? I am sure you will be a great comfort for your sisters post op care.

Margeaux, hope you are feeling better. Acupuncture may be helpful. Not too familiar with all it can help with.

Golden, hope you are feeling better. Rest, liquids and whatever it takes.

I am feeling more human today, lol!! Dr put me out through Thursday but I think they will call me to come in Thursday. My bakery manager dumped major guilt on me...I should say she tried...I literally stood there looking at her with my mouth open (nose to stuffy to breath), a 102 fever and when she was done I just grunted saying ok good bye. Lol!!!

On January 7th my brothers step daughter (who had the radical cancer surgery), her hubs died. Possible accidental overdose of pain meds/ diabetic. Service is the 21.

My niece in Kentucky is having a heart issue. They will repair some flap??? To the heart where they go in through the arm vein. I am getting this second hand since sis won't talk to me. That is all I know and that she has to change her life by slowing down and not doing as much as she has been.

Take care everyone.
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I contacted my niece. She has a severe mitro valve leak. They say she can live a normal life after the surgery. She will have a surgery date by Jan. 31st. Scary stuff, don't know anything about it but prayers will be appreciated.
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Sharyn-She does take some meds. But from all the incidents I have seen. It isn't med-related. It is because she is not paying attention. She won't admit it. If I were able to drive, I would be totally focused on where I were driving, and how I am getting there.

When I am out on my (road)racing bike, I am totally focused on the traffic and traffic conditions. Some people in the cycling world, will listen to music because of getting bored. That is insane. My point being, paying 100% attention to what you are doing when out on the road.
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Hi all, once again, we set the Old Man up, with his lunch, toileting, drinks, snacks and a telephone near by, so that we could go out to see our Son and Grandies for a couple of hours, ALL GOOD, No falls this time, whew!

Then on the way home, and on a whim, we bit the bullet, and stopped into the leasing office of the newest SHAG (Senior Housing Assistance Group), that is going up in our area, due to be completed in June. Beautiful, but Unfortunately, we don't believe he is capable of living without just a little bit more services, then they can offer (complete independent Senior Apartments), but hubby is ready to move on in! Maybe in a couple of years Dear, Lol!

We then stopped by an IL/AL facility, about 6 blocks from our home, sat down with the coordinator, heard the speel, and took the tour.

We were both impressed, a little older, but cozy, 65 apartments and it is definitely doable, both for convenience sake, price, and comfort too! This is the first time hubby has done a tour, but I toured another facility back in November. I kinda like this one better! So, we're shooting for April/May, but will not broach the subject until about a 2-3 weeks before launch date, so as not to upset him, and have him stressed and fixating on a move.

Hubby came away quite hopefull and relieved, and I came away with knots in my stomach.

Now why is that? Misguided guilt I'm sure, but how the heck am I going to get through these next couple of months, with out fixating, upset and stressed out, that is the question!

I keep going back to how we did this all wrong, straight from the beginning, when he moved in, but he would have been out of money by now (13 years later), and on our porch, broke and nowhere to live, do I guess we did it right? Hmmm...
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Well shoot, I take it all back, while I was outside typing my previous post, hubby was inside chatting with his Dad, and revealed we had been out touring Assisted living facilities. Great, no Not Great! We JUST spoke about how WEREN'T going to say anything yet, and he had to go and shoot his mouth off!

I sure hope that doesn't backfire on us, and we have to hear his fears and anxiety Every Day, until we actually Do move him out!

As it turned out, the Old Man was Absolutely Fine with hearing about, but more worried about what he would do with all his STUFF! Sheesh! I guess I'm the only one tense about the whole thing! Whoduthunkit?

We are trying to coordinate this so we are all preparing and moving in stages over the springtime. Now, who knows? Maybe Sooner!

I do know, once my husband has made a decision, there's no going back, which is fine with me, as we've talked this situation to death!

I am most ready to pull up stakes, and get going onto the rest of our lives! I guess this is finally happening! I'm sure you all are sick of hearing about it, I know I am!
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Sharyn-I just talked to my mother about her driving. She said the signs and physical changes to the road were confusing. I(the one who doesn't drive) was not confused by any of it.

It isn't anything like the 'Big Dig' debacle in Boston. That took several decades to fix.

There are no major sign changes. But she says it is totally confusing around the airport(Dulles International Airport).
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Chris - my mother was like that in her eighties when she moved to another city. She got confused by the directions and street signs. I don’t know if it was early signs of dementia in my mother, but, considering that your mother is driving roads she has driven before, it looks like that to me in her case. It probably means she cannot concentrate as much as she has been able to. !00% for her now is less than it was before. Good for you for talking to her about it. I think it is wise to not ride with her any more
Have you thought of informing the POA in writing (email, cced to other family members) about what decline you observe, and also about the convo with your mother and your concerns about her driving? It is positive that she admits her confusion. If you document things, it is harder for family to ignore what you are trying to communicate.

Sharyn – glad you are better. I am just tired now - don’t know if it is a bug or the cfs. I do not understand the bakery manager. You are sick. Do they want you in there serving food when you are sick??? More family issues for you. I am sorry about the death, and also about your niece’s valve problem. Nowadays valve surgery goes pretty well for most. She should be normal afterwards

Stacey - sounds like you and hub and fil are making great progress. Hub sounds very interested. Apparently, it is important that he can talk to his dad about it. Yeah if fil had gone into a facility he would be broke but he likely will be that anyway -and on Medicaid sooner or later don’t you think? Can you relax a bit now, girl? This has been such a source of stress for you. Thinking of your sis tomorrow and both of you as you go through this surgery and recovery. Yes, it is finally happening.

Slept this afternoon and hope I am getting over this. No more congestion or coughing thankfully. So hard to tell what is CFS and what is a bug. They feel similar. Contacted the hearing aid guy who mother has been going to for years. He will visit her soon to get things started. I want the same kind of in-the-ear aids as she had, as I think she would be confused by anything else. They are costly, of course, but she doesn't have much left in life, and needs whatever she can get to improve her QOL.

Have a good night, folks, and be good to you.
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Golden, CFS is so frustrating to those who have and not well understood by those who don't have CFS.

Sharyn, Your bakery manager needs a swift kick in the butt. Put yourself first and get well soon.
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Sharyn, I have had two valve repair surgeries. One was a flap surgery to repair - the other a replacement. I got along well with both. The recovery with the flap surgery wasn't bad all. The other one was a longer recovery. I've had no problems since.

Mom got here this evening with my aunt. I took them for a light dinner and then to their hotel. Mom has lost a lot of weight. She looks very frail. But, she seemed genuinely happy to be here. She gave me a large envelope full of legal papers and gave me a box with all of her jewelry. She also gave me a copy of her new will. She left each of my brothers $1.00. She left bad bro's children and grandchildren each $1.00 including her namesake great granddaughter. She left my grandsons keepsakes that belonged to my dad and both grandfathers. She left other things to me that are to go to my granddaughter whenever I decide to give them to her. My other brother gets some Navy records that belonged to my Dad. I hope this works out. My brother arrives with her things tomorrow morning.

Hope is all well with everyone tonight. I think I'm getting a cold.
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Chris, I guess I misunderstood. I thought you had written you did not know who your mother's dr was.
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Thank you upset. I am glad this valve is not as serious as it sounds.

Golden, glad you got some extra rest and are not coughing. I also had a good sleep this afternoon. I actually had a couple eggs, a piece of toast and 2 sausages for dinner. That is the most I have eaten in days.

Good night all.
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Stacey,

So happy to hear that you and your husband could manage to keep FIL set up with supplies, so that you could be free to do what you want for a change.

Your FIL has been more than fortunate that you and your husband took him in.
Try not to feel guilty about placing him somewhere, as you've done more than your share,
as we all well know being women. You and your husband deserve a life apart from him now.

Hugs,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
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Sharynmarie,

I agree with others, what's wrong with this deli manager?? You are handling food.
In any case, it's just so terrible at jobs that management behaves as if their employees should just come to work, and expose others also. Hope you're feeling better.

I'm feeling a better, finally. Acupuncture is amazing for many conditions. I had a round of it several years ago, when I had a sinus infection. It really helped. I've been having lots of blockage in my ears, so Acupuncture takes care of that very well.

So sorry for the loss of your brother's SIL.
Today, many of the heart procedures seem to be quite advanced, so that the patient benefits from many of them. Mother had a pacer placed about 8 yrs., ago and she hasn't had any problems. I will be thinking of your relative, so that things go well for her.

Much Love & Light! Margeaux
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Corporate America is greedy and some bosses don't believe you are sick regardless of a dr's note. It's just this woman is all business. As co workers we can't talk with each other without her asking if we need something to do HaaH!!! When our little girl was out with a concussion, she called her in one day, poor thing could not move her head or back she was stiff from the injury and went home after 2 hours.
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Margeaux, this is why I want to quit working. My company use to pride themselves on being a family. Because I am out right now for more than 2 days, they made me take FMLA. I couldn't believe it!!! If FMLA doesn't cover all the time my dr said I need, I don't know what happens. I don't know how to work the system like others because not everyone has had to use FMLA.
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Upset, something about that box of jewelry makes me nervous. maybe you should do an inventory and have her sign it then put in all in a safety deposit box. Maybe I am just paranoid LOL
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Kellse, I'm with you. Upset, please get an inventory of the jewelry and have your mother sign it. Wasn't a missing jewelry episode part of the mama-drama? Save yourself some pain.
Sharyn, I hope you feel better. The supervisor better watch out. One of my husband's co-managers at last job got in trouble with Human Resources about a person with Worker's Comp claim. And the can on the head lady is definitely worker's comp....just shaking my head at idiots.
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Golden,

Sure sorry that your CFS has been acting up! I hope you feel better soon.

Hugs,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
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Chris,

I'm sorry to hear about the problems you are having with your mom.
As many people will tell you here that their parents unwillingly gave up their Driver's Licenses, after either close calls, or alerting DMV about the change in driving habits. Possibly, it could help if you contact the DMV and let them take care of it. This way, it gets you out of the way of looking like the bad guy. But she is a danger on the road. O.K., we're all rooting for you.

Much Love & Light! Margeaux
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Wow, back to chronological posts. That was quick! Good job AC that was going to drive me batty! I am already half way there. 🙌
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upset - CFS/FM is very frustrating. I console myself that it is not cancer or heart disease, and does not shorten life span, though at times you might wish that it did. When I first talked to a doctor about it, over 20 years ago, many thought it was all in your head. Thankfully now there is some research showing quantitative differences in a variety of factors, e g muscle amino acids, rather than just qualitative differences, like experiencing fatigue. My dd is pretty good at accepting it, but still wants to "push" me to do more. I did more with then around Christmas and have been sick since. She suggested including the stairs in my daily walks around the house. I tried that over a year ago and sent myself into a big relapse for months. I am not a lazy person, but I have learned to listen to my body, which keeps me less active than I would like to be and than I would be if I did not have this condition. One of the confusing aspects for everyone is that sometimes, inexplicably, I can do quite a lot, and other times I sit on the sofa growing roots. My gut condition looks ok now, and I am off meds for it. My next project is to see if I can do better with the CFS/FM. Whew - that was a vent!

Hope the move goes well and your mum settles in. Her changed will is a huge statement. The chickens have some home to roost. The suggestions re itemizing the jewelry are not a bad idea. Bad bro is such that you need to double cover your butt. I do hope the worst of the manipulations are over. Look after you now - lots going on. I hope you do not get that cold.
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Margeaux - glad the acupuncture helps and you are better,

sharyn - I understand you wanting to quit. Many places of work have a very different focus and it is not on the employees other than to get as much as they can out of them. You should have some sick leave for these days off I would think.

ali You are very resourceful re selling your dads things. I wish we had some of those types of shops here. The closest ones are 5 hrs drive away.

Woke up early and went back to sleep till 10 am and feel and look much better. Looking forwards to doing more. I postponed my hair appointment till tomorrow as I was not feeling up to it yesterday. Roots, roots, roots! Root concealer spray helps.

Some of the old format is back - good!
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Yes, Golden I do have sick leave through the union that is no problem. It's them making me file a leave claim with FMLA which they say is because without it my benefits will lapse because of not working the minimum of 24 hours a week. This is true but I am only off 3 days last week and 4 days this week which still gives me 24 hours to work. They are just being difficult. Hubs and I feel good that I won't have to work once we move but since my mother passed, I am just so done with wanting to work because they demand too much of us. Anyway....

I am glad you are feeling better today. I am going to make an easy dinner tonight, hubs has done a lot to help with things when I was feeling the worst of this flu but it's time to start stepping up again.
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Sharon the fmla will also make them preserve your job for 12 weeks... at my job if you miss more than 5 days in a row you have to be cleared by occupational health to return. Just sneeze or vomit on them and you will get the time off you need to recover!
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THEY SWITCHED "FIRST" AND "LAST"... 0__0

Which is fine, it didn't make sense to have the first post being actually the last post on the thread... But all of it is distracting for now. 

Oh!  And, I'll be... they put them Top-to-Bottom again.  Much improved, imho.  
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Hey all, don't have much to say, but reading and checking in to my "lifeline" here.

I find it interesting that the interest in the vintage stuff I'm selling online outweighs interest in the practical things I'm selling for a very good price. Hm. I suppose hobbyists' spending money outweighs the practical in buying power.

Golden, there is a great deal (several cabinets' worth) of vintage glassware here. I've seen what local antique malls charge for it, and it's nominal value, but I'd still rather donate/sell to a reseller than trash it. It's pretty. If I could keep it all, I would. I'll box up the best of it, and find a reseller for the rest. Yes, it helps to be within driving distance of 3rd largest U.S. city for the purpose of selling off items of, really, not much value. But you sold some things, and DD helped, out of your garage? Saddles and such? I don't have anything even that useful, I don't think. It's vintage for the sake of it. Technology has created better items, but these "look cooler" to certain people...?

Chris, I've been reading, and I wish had input for you, but I don't.  I'm thinking of you and your situation, and hoping for as good of an outcome as you can get. I'm not sure I know what that is.  
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Upset, I meant to tell you "Congrats On Everything!" I hope mom will be very happy in her new place. Hopefully your back isn't too sore from moving things in today.
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Well, almost there, got approved for the rental by the property manager, checked my credit and background, nothing showed up that twisteds accused me of! ;P

Now just to figure out the date of the move. I decided to have a mover do it, too much to coordinate to do it another way. Sure wish employer was going to provide some level of assistance with it. But, to get out from under, oh well, and it is deductible. Twice in one year. Packing just about done. I just did not unpack very much at all.

Love you all.
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A creel is a basket for fish, I think. You go fishing and then put the fish you catch in it and take it home. And eat the fish. I seem to think it's a Scottish or Brit thing, to use for fly fishing on the riverbanks.

That's my two cents' worth anyway.
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Golden, Thought of you today at work. Was working in a group setting; mostly women with stress and depression. Three of the women in the group had CFS. All of them felt that their depression or stress greatly impacted their CFS. They expressed the same thing you said about listening to your own body.

My aunt left to go back to Ohio. Mom is mostly settled in her apartment. She seems very pleased with how it looks. She had given me this big pile of papers from her attorney. In the papers was a notarized and witnessed statement itemizing all of the jewelry and a statement that she had given it me permanently for my use and the use of my grandchildren. Today when we went through the box - she showed me two rings that I didn't know about. She said that she had them made from a couple of old pieces ofjewelry . They were two identical rings - single 1ct. diamonds set in 14K gold. She said that she hoped that my grandsons would use them for engagement rings at some point in the future. She had a three piece set - necklace, bracelet and drop earrings - diamonds in 14K gold. She said for me to give it to my granddaughter Emma when she was old enough to take care of it. She said the rest of the jewelry I could keep for myself or keep for Emma. I'm glad she put it all in writing. I took it to the bank and put in my safe deposit box. I spent a couple of hours helping her put things up. She had read the bulletin board in the lobby and discovered that they had an open club bridge game and I left her at 2:00 talking to a couple of other ladies and getting ready to play cards. She called me after dinner and said that she had a good time and that all of the men and women were very friendly. Two ladies on her hall had invited her to eat dinner with them. She said the food was very good. She had looked at the menus for the rest of the week and had signed up for those meals. She said she enjoyed eating in the dining room that it wasn't as lonely as sitting at home and eating by herself. My Mom in a congregate dining room - hard to believe. When I checked on her early in the day - she was cleaned up and had her makeup on. Haven't seen her in makeup in 3 or 4 years. Hope that everyone is having a good evening.
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