
Many of us, myself included, come from a dysfunctional family which adds a lot of weight to the challenges of caregiving. I have read stores on various threads on other topics and decided it would be good to have a thread just for this topic for people to share, vent and discuss.
The idea for this thread originated on the thread named "The Caregiver....How are YOU doing today?"
In working at the Asthma and Allergy Clinic that I did for 4 years, so often people would have surgeries, to put in "Windows", to help the drainage system. It does work, if you are one of those who often are hit with the Dreaded Sinus Infection! Gosh, I remember people coming in, who were holding their faces on hot pack, in So Much Pain from the pressure and Headaches! I hope you aren't one of those type sufferers! The sinus wash is really important, so keep that up! Sinus infections SUCK! Get well soon!
I personally still need to make appointment with ENT doc to try to figure out why my mucus has been so problematic (too dry, bloody... not right... for years now, ever since mold problem here at house). I believe that the drop of tea tree oil is helping. The little bit of blood doesn't show up every day anymore, just random. Making that appointment is at the bottom of a long To Do list, though. "Someday."
I tried to make my peace with it all today by calling my dad and talking over a few things. The bad news is -- my mom stirs up drama for no good reason. The good news is -- my dad seems very content and has no issues with me continuing to handle his personal bank account for time being. He doesn't want to get a new bank account down in new place right away. *shrug* What can I do?
What's going on Heart? Just more of the same?
THAT's the sort of thing that makes people like us buy ourselves our own Christmas and birthday presents (if we have a minute and a dollar to do it with, that is...) and on the plus side, focus more on the religious meaning of the season instead of the "family" part. Hoping there are brighter holidays in your future!
What a day this has been. I got very angry with rude girl today as she was on a mission and very rude with how she talked to me. So responded back with the tone and volume answering her question and I ended it with ...and, DO NOt TALK TO ME LIKE I AM YOUR DOG!!!!!
Tea tree oil, aka melaleuca oil is ototoxic.
It is contraindicated (anything but normal saline) in anything you may be using in your netti-pot or to wash out your sinuses.
Toxic to your ears....lose your hearing?
The ears are connected to something...eustacian tube, nasal passages, throat, sinuses, o dear, I don't remember....please look into your practice of adding 1-2 small drops to the saline solution-The person I checked with said no one does this. Even then, that would be too much.
For sinuses, a good chiropractor gave hubs oregano oil (also cures ear infections), but you rub a drop on your hands and smell it, breathe it in holding your hands over your nose and face.
Did someone recommend this to you? Can you look up ototoxic and tea tree oil?
Interested to find out from you....it was someone else who said it is ototoxic.
We did go over this before, but I forgot the outcome....is it considered ok?
"The National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine warns that tea tree oil should not directly be used internally or swallowed, as it contains many toxic chemicals. Applying this oil to the skin may also cause an allergic reaction in some cases. There is not a recommended dosage for tree tea oil, as it is not regulated by the Food and Drug Administration; however, the Mayo Clinic advises that tea tree oil products should not be used for longer than one month at a time."
BIL jumped on the bandwagon, saying he would talk to his wife about having the Old Man come to a poe-dunk in Arizona, to live with them. YEAH RIGHT! first off I'm p!ssed that hubby even mentioned anything to his brother at this point, and secondly, my FIL would NEVER go to live with this Son, 3rd, FIL won't travel by plane, and the furthest FIL has driven in the past 4 years is 10 minutes, to the Dr's office, and BIL has not spent more 5han an hours time ALONE in the presence of his Dad in over 30 years! Does he honestly think that he could ride in on his White Horse, at this stage of the game?
It shear Madness, but he has since called 3 more times, and wants to discuss this further with hubby sometime today.
I TOLD my husband to SHUT THIS DOWN! The Old Man is our responsibility, and has been entirely, for 13 years! This is a Quick Buck Scam, that has gotten into his brother's head, just like every other Scam he has pulled in his life! I would Never stand for it, but it is Amusing, that brother thinks he could get his Dad to go along with such a plan.
BTW, this is his 9th wife, as I've proven researching on Ancestry...., and even in the 6 or so years he's been married to this one, they have moved many times, and currently live in and manage a Motel! So the are quite nomadic to say the least!
I will SHUT THIS DISCUSSION MYSELF, TODAY! its rediculous, and hubby never meant for it to go like this, its justbthe nature of his brothers thought process, to see that ther is some potential "PAYOFF", that he could scam off an elderly Father, oh he would Love That!
Hubby was interested to see how fast he jumped on this idea, but brother went into hyper drive, thinking that this would even be a viable option, which it is not, as the Old Man has enough wits about him to have FREE WILL!!!
I'm just so d*mn Mad at this point. GOD, what an idiot, both of them!
In the past month, his phone calls have all been about him having an Aortic Anyurism, that requires major surgery, he is s/p 2 open heart surgeries, and has gone on and in how he could die in this upcoming surgery!
He's an idiot! Grrrr! I don't know why my husband even said anything, except that he thought he has a responsibility to tell his siblings when we Do Place his Dad. But why he jumped the gun and said anything, was so stupid! He said it just came up in the course of conversation, and I get that, I guess, but now we need to deal with the Fall-Out! Men, can't live with them, can't shoot them! Ugggg!
I'm off from job today. (That situation is winding up, I've helped to catch them up on backlog of work due to a medical issue that one of main office staff had last summer... they're fine with me taking off, so that works well as I have people in and out of house right now, 2 different contractor people here just today. I think the only reason my current employer used temp agency to staff was because of legalities? They were concerned if they hired someone for temporary position, they could be sued. I don't know much about it but I suspect that's why they went through the agency that I had applied with. Anywho...)
I decided to patch upstairs bath hot water spigot while plumber did shower hook ups in basement. Water would be off, I do my repair, he does his. I've done this patch a few times already. Spigot is old, needs drilled out and replaced, in lieu of this I replace a washer every 3-6 months until it gets chewed up by the metal and hot water combo, and fails again, resulting in hot water leaking constantly into tub.
At one point I need to clean a piece, so I turn on sink tap and plug drain. Oops, that's right I forgot, water is off. I go on about doing the patch as best I can. I finish up, put things back together, go down to basement and am talking to plumber dude when I hear and see water coming through basement ceiling.
Oh no! My patch must've failed horribly and now I have genuine plumbing emergency! I run to turn off water main, glance again at ceiling and notice -- that water's not dripping by the tub connections, it's from toilet area. I run upstairs and -- I overflowed the sink, running it into the toilet area, where it dripped through onto some storage stuff, that's now laying out all over basement to dry.
Handy? Sure. Absent minded goofball? That, too.
Hope you guys are having a great day!!
You do have a good sense of humor about it though! A plumber dude in the basement? Handy, and you had a plumbing emergency? hmmmmn.
What does this dude look like?
And who has not ever overflowed a sink?
For plumbing I mean.
We had heavy, wet snow last night and this morning, but now it's pouring rain and almost 40* - recipe for a huge, wet mess. Will have to watch our basement and roof.
You can fix my "pipes", Anytime! Lol!
Oh Alli, when it rains, it pours! Glad it wasn't a disaster!
Can you change your phone number?
Ridiculously insane-Bil needs your hubs help with an aneurism/surgery-and in the farthest reaches of his evil imagination, now wants to scam his own father.
Hope that both you and your hubs do nor even mention this trick to your Fil, protecting him from the stress of it all. He is old, doesn't need this, and neither do you!
Hubs may think he is strong, smart, but has been stronger only because he has you. Recommend to stop all this by cutting off communication with 'those toxic people'. It has not helped that hubs is now sharing your lives with a scammer, proving himself weak in this area. So sorry that this has threatened your home and relationships. You are rightfully enraged! And concerned.
Yes, shut this down right now-get call blocking too. But go easy on hubs-not coming between him and his brother, imo. Just teach him to not share anything about you, your marriage, future plans, never say your name to Bil, never say 'My wife', never say: "She" to your Bil. That will help a bit, because you have rights too.
In case there is doubt that I do not have enough experience with this...my former psychiatrist walked me through it years ago.
Don't tell him you are shutting down communications, just become too busy to talk, gotta go, can we call you later? Distract, change his subject of choice often, have noise or a disturbance in the background, say: "Oh, gotta go, Pops is calling-he is our top priority...etc. Bye!
Oh, the phone is acting up-cannot hear you-all you later when it is fixed.
If you tell him, due to his nature or illness, his calls will become more urgent, more aggressive, more manipulative. Now, have that gentle, but firm talk with your hubs.
Bless you today, Stacey.