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Veronica~There is no specific reason they are transferring me...it is something this company does periodically. It could be someone from another store wants to be local and they have connections. This manager is not aware that I was transferred because of my mother's health (which has never interfered with work). My deli manager does not want to lose me because I am one of her most dependable people but she has no control over who they transfer. She said she would talk with the store manager today and I told her I would talk with my mom's dr. I am waiting for a call back on getting a statement from the dr before I call the union.

Thank you for the good vibes and support!
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Definitely talk to the union! For a transfer like that, if nothing else, you could collect unemployment for six months. But, then you need to find a new employer that would be very difficult to do, especially with your situation. Remember the family medical leave act.
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Glad~If I quit, I would have to accept a job for minimum wage, that was one reason why I choice this job because of it paying more than minimum, getting benefits through the union. I work for a major grocery chain here in NorCal, so hopefully this will work out. A co-worker fought her transfer a year ago due to a vision problem and she cannot drive long distance at night. She was able to stay, I hope I can too or at least go to the other store here in town.
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Thinking of you Sharyn. Hope it will work out for you.
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Thank you Glad~I picked up a statement, it just says the above mentioned patient has advanced dementia. The patient needs constant supervision. I hope they accept it, they don't need to know every detail anyway.
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Sharyn, I'm wishing you good wishes to help you. {{Hugs}}
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Sharynmarie,

I went out of town with my husband both for work, which was hectic.
But I did have a few days of rest, too. Thanks you for asking.

Oh! I sure hope you can resolve this issue with your union.
I have you in my chants, my friend!

Hugs,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
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Thank you for everyone for the support on this issue. I am so angry about as I thought this was resolved 2 years ago when I knew my mother would not be driving much longer. Glad, I am going to take you up on yours suggestion of calling FMLA. My co-worker told me he had to go through FMLA because they kept trying to transfer him when he told them he is the primary caregiver for his severely disabled daughter. Apparently his wife doesn't help much with her, he does everything for his daughter...she was born with severe mental and physical disabilities and was not expected to live...she is now in her early 20's.

I gave the dr.'s statement to my store manager, he of course was just talking me up with, we don't want to lose you, but this Tracy store needs a closer who is experienced, does not need to be baby sat, someone who stays busy and works. It may only be for a few weeks since they have someone out on leave. Blah, blah, blah............I am not a 20 something that can't see between those words of manipulation. I told my manager that I am willing to go to Tracy for 2 weeks while they get another person to work there permanently, but I must work locally, either at this store or the other store in town. This is not personal...it is politics and for the first time in my life, I am going to fight back for what I want. I will call FMLA and the union Monday as well as the district manager whom I cleared all this with 2 years ago.

Tonight was very emotionally charged because I worked with "M", she is the one with the vision issue called Fuch's Dystrophy (sp?), we get along really well because we are similar...being introverts, family oriented (her mother has lived with her for 20 yrs). Her parents came her from Portugal, had 2 children, got divorced. He father went back to Portugal, her mother stayed here working as a private caregiver getting paid under the table so she has little SS. She lives with "M" and her husband, has diabetes and CHF. I went off with too much info but I am hyper tonight, LOL!! Anyway "M" and I sobbed together as we both understand taking care of a parent and having the employer wanting to transfer you every couple years. Tomorrow will be worse since it is our last night together until this is resolved (hopefully in my favor).

Margeaux~ I am happy you had the chance to rest too. You have had a lot going on over the last 6 months, recharging is good.
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Sharynmarie,you are in my prayers, this caregiving is hard enough without outside major issues as well.
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Sharyn I don't think telling them you would go for 2 weeks is good... Once you are out may be hard to get back... Keep very good records of conversations... dates/ times.
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I agee with norest. If you agree to two weeks, it may even hurt your chances with the union or under FMLA. You go girl!
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This will be my last post for the night.
Hi Margeaux.

When I was changing dad's pampers, I was watching HLN. In it, a tall sad white clown sang his version of the song "Royals." When done with the pampers, I came online and googled Puddles the clown. Because I don't really listen to music much, I had to first google the original singer of "Royals" which is Lorde. I watched their YouTube song and just love those female voices as the sang the chorus lines. Then I watched several times Puddles version of the song - using his persona as a sad clown to sing it in a sad way. I like his version best!

FYI, a very very short YouTube clip on his other rendition of the song: "That'll be the Day." I hope you all watch this one too. I laughed when I saw it.

I finished my ebook. Just love that author!! I laugh on her books. She has a wicked sense of humor. Unfortunately, not everyone agrees with my taste. An email acquaintance told me that she was disappointed on this latest book. I can't wait for her book 2.
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I have no choice, they have already transferred me before I was even told about it. I will fight, but no longer will I be the good worker, reliable worker they praise me to be. I see too many other co-workers who go on extended leaves 2-3 times a year, co-workers who spend all day talking, don't get their work done and guess who has to do their work come evening time....me the closer. I am done being "good ole Sharyn, she will do it"!!
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spring here in NY is delayed-more snow on Tue 3-6 inches.
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Sharyn if you are over 40 you can fight it on the basis of age discrimination.
There must be a personel office for your employer? can you talk to them? Did you have a contract when you were originally hired? Do the math and find out just how much the extra comute will cost you compared with taking a lower paying job locally.
Don't forget to add in not just the extra gas but more frequent servicing of your car. Do you pay someone to be with your mother while you are at work? That will be another hour every day at $? a day.
You may have to take the move but try and get a raise and if available a promotion.
Time for "good old Sharyn" to stand up for herself. Hugs
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Book what's the book/author?
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195Austin ugh snow here in MA on Tuesday night.. But it's 60* right now and very windy..
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Yuck more snow here too. The locals ( we've only been here 35 years) say the snow on the hills has to melt three times before it is gone for good, I have lost count
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Sharyn, so sorry your employment is messing with you. I just don't see how they can just "assign" you to new location, anyway. I hope you can work it out quickly and stay put where you want and need to be. Glad you have an empathetic coworker.

Austin, OUCH, more snow? I *think* Spring is here in Chicago, but it just dropped almost 30 degrees since yesterday… crazy! As long as the daytime highs stay above freezing to continue to let all the built up snow melt off, I'll be happy. So tired of looking at dirty snow mounds everywhere.

Book, I saw the Puddles version of "Royals," too. I like both versions. I was finally ahead of you on one trending viral video, lol. Usually, you mention them on here and then I go watch them. I read a story about Puddles. Since you like perusing the net, you might find the back story about him… I don't remember where I read it at, but maybe you could find. Apparently, the man that is Puddles doesn't speak much, has been that way a long time, is a fixture/oddity in Atlanta for many years now in relative anonymity until the singing videos.

I'm going on my previously mentioned date tomorrow… I wonder sometimes if I'm not being really, really naive about my selection this go around. This man has 4 children, under the age of 12. His wife divorced him to reunite with high school boyfriend, so its not as if he abandoned his family, but still… this has to be difficult on the kids. He also just started his own law firm within past year, so he's extremely busy. He lives about an hours' drive away from me on north side of Chicago. Even if I do like him, when would I ever see him and how would I fit into his life??? I'm just going to go on the date, enjoy the chance to get out (going to NHL game, yay!), and not make too much of it. But… almost seems like a self-defeating set up on my part. I tend to be self destructive and naive too often, I need to be more aware when I'm doing those things. Hard for me to discern, though, since I'm so open minded about pretty much everything. : /

On a positive note, I've gotten in touch with some old Midwest friends and we've talked about getting together for an evening in the coming weeks. When I was a teenager, an older woman told me something that I never forgot. She said, "you need good friends, or you need a boyfriend. Some times if you have good friends, that's all you need." She said something like that. I do know that when I have some things going in the right direction in my personal life, I have a lot more patience for catering to all my dad's needs. He is emotionally draining on me, I have to fill up that "gas tank" somehow, you know? Gym classes are still a wonderful outlet I've discovered just in past year. But… having some friends around here would be nice, too. :-)

Happy Saturday, all. (((((hugs)))))
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Very sad. My MIL is in the "active death" phase of her disease and we are simply trying to keep her out of pain until the inevitable conclusion of her journey. While I am saddened by her pain and inevitable loss, I am grieved and angered by the fact that her other three sons, who have seldom visited her, have made no attempt to come and say goodbye, even though they know she could pass away at any time. A gentler, kinder soul I have never known, and why they have abandoned her I do not know. My husband, who always loved and respected his brothers, is perplexed too. I have dismissed their open contempt for my husband and I as their means of assuaging their guilt. However, their absence during this time is unfathomable.
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Alison, they can and will transfer employees from one store to another at will...it is part of the agreement of employment with this company. The reason I have been chosen is simply politics even though I talked with the district supervisor 2 years ago about my mother's health and my need to be local. I am very angry over it because they have chosen to keep a person who is always off work for one reason or another and they are citing seniority. I have less seniority. I know I posted that this is not personal...but it is to me...not to them. I will call the union on Monday. The problem with being transferred is that it is all said and done before you are informed of it. I am already on the schedule for the new store even though I have to come back to my current store to work next Sat/Sun and the 2 stores will "share" me because the person who has more seniority than me... is currently out on leave once again as she always is several times throughout the year. Sorry if I sound bitter, but I am.

I suggest that you approach this date as you said...a fun time out, try not to put too much in expectations on it...just enjoy the time out and see what happens. It sounds like if you get involved in this relationship, you have a lot to think about...such as...are you willing/ready to be an instant mother to 4 children...what are his priorities regarding his children, his career? Is he looking for someone to a mother to his children but not a spouse to him? While you are working on getting out of a caregiving role for an abusive father and family members, be very careful of stepping into a caregiving role as a mother while your needs as an adult woman are not being met. You are very intelligent and I know you will make wise decisions..just go slow and think the situations through.
Love to you,
Sharyn
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Alison, hope the date went well. just enjoy the companionship and take things slowly.
as Sharyn said
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Thank you so much, Sharyn. I don't gather that this man is looking for mother for his children, as she still has primary custody, but… it is a sobering concept for me to go from no children to possibly dating a man who has 4 small ones. I do love children!!! But loving children is much different than stepping out with their father and seeing how they feel about me when that happens. Thanks for the advice. I'm going to try my best to take this very slowly. Who knows? 24 hours from now, I could be saying "date,schmate." I feel like I owe it one try, and nothing more.

So, your employment has discretion to assign you elsewhere, even though you had spoken up about needing to stay local? That stinks. That would make me feel unsupported by my supervisors. And that would potentially make me resentful. You mentioned it feels personal to you. That makes sense to me. Who cares what you technically are obligated to by terms of employment, if you talk to a human being who is your superior and tell them your issues, you would hope and trust they sympathize and respect your needs/preferences. I suppose in the cold world of business and bottom lines, that NO it doesn't matter to them, of course it won't, of course they will move you as they see fit… but it still stinks. And they give you no notice, no time to adjust… I'm sorry.

Austin… I'm not happy. There is fresh snow on the ground here. I didn't see it coming in my daily weather.com check. It said nothing about snow fall/accumulation. I got up to use bathroom this a.m., and there it is… snow… I am so traumatized that I had to get online and find a friend to sympathize, lol. Seriously, though, I'm darn sick of this winter. And seriously, I'm traumatized by the fresh fallen snow. I suppose I'll live through it.

Happy Sunday! (((((hugs))))) to all of you
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Allison, have a good time.... You are a wise woman. Go with your heart..... if something does not seem right, bookmark that feeling! A woman's intuition is very powerful. Don't confuse when meeting someone of what feels " familiar" to what is a normal interaction. In other words when people come from bad relationships they often are attracted to the person because it feels familiar and it is actually a repeat of a bad prior relationship!
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Well the truth came out tonight. I found out they posted within the company a position opening in bakery/deli. The day it was posted, the store manager asked the young 19 year old who they hired 2 months ago to apply for it.

2 months ago they hired a young girl whose father works at another store in the meat dept. They did not post it within the company because they specifically wanted her because of her father's pull within the company. By hiring her this way, they can have her work in the deli but classify her position as a service specialist. This means that she does not have less seniority than me because she is not a bakery/deli clerk. She gets 20 hours from bakery/deli and 5 hours as a service specialist. This is not because they wanted to personally get rid of me, it is politics. I just happen to be the one with lowest seniority, which nothing but bs.


I am still going to call the union because I plan to fight to stay locally, I just am not sure I want to stay at this store now knowing what I know. I got screwed even though it was not personal on their end, but it is still personal to me because I need to be local due to my mom's health.

They would rather keep another young woman who is 30, yet she goes out on extended leaves every 2-3 months for one issue or another. She is the woman whose mother committed suicide by standing in front of a train. She has a history of going out long before her mother died.

My vent is...I will no longer go in on my days off because of another person who calls in sick, I am going to do what needs to be done and I will not go the extra mile. If I get hurt at work no matter what the injury is or whether I feel it needs medical attention, I will file a workman's comp claim, getting extra time off. Why not...that is what everyone else does so why fight it, instead of me being part of the solution, I will now be part of the problem with the good ole US of A.
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i am going to have a button made from a local store that says "Don't count on me, I'm not dependable and wear it when I go back to my old store for work on Saturday!!! That makes me happy. May I have them add a smiley face with a tongue sticking out...LOL!! I am thinking of calling in sick for next Sunday...because I am not dependable anymore.
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way to go josh! and to all of us!
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Assandy, I was reading the author: Ilona Andrews. She has several series. My favorite is the Kate Andrews series. It’s about a female “mercenary” with some little bit of magic and a magic sword (that likes to feed on blood), shapeshifters, vampires (weird version!), etc…. It’s a fantasy story. The main character Kate has a sense of humor. However, I just finished a New series book 1. It’s okay but it doesn’t beat the Kate Andrews series.

ABB, I don’t usually spend hours on YouTube. I’m more into my books. I only see all these videos from the news channels. Then, I google it. If I like it, I want to share it.

Trulyblessed, I’m sorry about your MIL being in the “active death” phase. When my mom died last year, and my siblings all came home, I don’t think they ever said aloud if they regretted not being here more for mom. I do know that when they went back home, they stopped responding to my emails. I basically stopped emailing them since then.

Sharyn, my fave sis ended up following everyone….take long lunches, etc…
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Sharyn you are sc****d but you don't need me to tell you that. I asked before but will again. "Are you over 40?" there are laws against discriminating against older workers. You must feel very bitter about this and quite rightly too. I hope the Union will advocate for you. Keep job hunting locally there just may be someone who will hire you and appreciate your ethetics. Till then pick and choose your non co-operative actions. Wait till something really embarressing comes up. For instance health inspecter is in the store and you see someone in bakery has left case of bread on the floor. In the past you may have rushed over and picked it up before the inspecter saw it. Now let it just sit there and the manager can take the heat. i am sure you will think up lots of ways to be passive agressive not that it will do you any good.
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Yes Veronica, I am over 40, but I dont see how I can prove An age discrimination case. Just because these 2 are younger is not enough. They want them because they are tattletales....they tell the managers everything that gets said whether or not it is against the company, they snitch to make you look bad. I told the bakery manager last night that went "C" comes back from leave, give her 2-3 months andsomething else will come up where she goes out again.
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