
Many of us, myself included, come from a dysfunctional family which adds a lot of weight to the challenges of caregiving. I have read stores on various threads on other topics and decided it would be good to have a thread just for this topic for people to share, vent and discuss.
The idea for this thread originated on the thread named "The Caregiver....How are YOU doing today?"
Thank you for the good vibes and support!
I went out of town with my husband both for work, which was hectic.
But I did have a few days of rest, too. Thanks you for asking.
Oh! I sure hope you can resolve this issue with your union.
I have you in my chants, my friend!
Hugs,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
I gave the dr.'s statement to my store manager, he of course was just talking me up with, we don't want to lose you, but this Tracy store needs a closer who is experienced, does not need to be baby sat, someone who stays busy and works. It may only be for a few weeks since they have someone out on leave. Blah, blah, blah............I am not a 20 something that can't see between those words of manipulation. I told my manager that I am willing to go to Tracy for 2 weeks while they get another person to work there permanently, but I must work locally, either at this store or the other store in town. This is not personal...it is politics and for the first time in my life, I am going to fight back for what I want. I will call FMLA and the union Monday as well as the district manager whom I cleared all this with 2 years ago.
Tonight was very emotionally charged because I worked with "M", she is the one with the vision issue called Fuch's Dystrophy (sp?), we get along really well because we are similar...being introverts, family oriented (her mother has lived with her for 20 yrs). Her parents came her from Portugal, had 2 children, got divorced. He father went back to Portugal, her mother stayed here working as a private caregiver getting paid under the table so she has little SS. She lives with "M" and her husband, has diabetes and CHF. I went off with too much info but I am hyper tonight, LOL!! Anyway "M" and I sobbed together as we both understand taking care of a parent and having the employer wanting to transfer you every couple years. Tomorrow will be worse since it is our last night together until this is resolved (hopefully in my favor).
Margeaux~ I am happy you had the chance to rest too. You have had a lot going on over the last 6 months, recharging is good.
Hi Margeaux.
When I was changing dad's pampers, I was watching HLN. In it, a tall sad white clown sang his version of the song "Royals." When done with the pampers, I came online and googled Puddles the clown. Because I don't really listen to music much, I had to first google the original singer of "Royals" which is Lorde. I watched their YouTube song and just love those female voices as the sang the chorus lines. Then I watched several times Puddles version of the song - using his persona as a sad clown to sing it in a sad way. I like his version best!
FYI, a very very short YouTube clip on his other rendition of the song: "That'll be the Day." I hope you all watch this one too. I laughed when I saw it.
I finished my ebook. Just love that author!! I laugh on her books. She has a wicked sense of humor. Unfortunately, not everyone agrees with my taste. An email acquaintance told me that she was disappointed on this latest book. I can't wait for her book 2.
There must be a personel office for your employer? can you talk to them? Did you have a contract when you were originally hired? Do the math and find out just how much the extra comute will cost you compared with taking a lower paying job locally.
Don't forget to add in not just the extra gas but more frequent servicing of your car. Do you pay someone to be with your mother while you are at work? That will be another hour every day at $? a day.
You may have to take the move but try and get a raise and if available a promotion.
Time for "good old Sharyn" to stand up for herself. Hugs
Austin, OUCH, more snow? I *think* Spring is here in Chicago, but it just dropped almost 30 degrees since yesterday… crazy! As long as the daytime highs stay above freezing to continue to let all the built up snow melt off, I'll be happy. So tired of looking at dirty snow mounds everywhere.
Book, I saw the Puddles version of "Royals," too. I like both versions. I was finally ahead of you on one trending viral video, lol. Usually, you mention them on here and then I go watch them. I read a story about Puddles. Since you like perusing the net, you might find the back story about him… I don't remember where I read it at, but maybe you could find. Apparently, the man that is Puddles doesn't speak much, has been that way a long time, is a fixture/oddity in Atlanta for many years now in relative anonymity until the singing videos.
I'm going on my previously mentioned date tomorrow… I wonder sometimes if I'm not being really, really naive about my selection this go around. This man has 4 children, under the age of 12. His wife divorced him to reunite with high school boyfriend, so its not as if he abandoned his family, but still… this has to be difficult on the kids. He also just started his own law firm within past year, so he's extremely busy. He lives about an hours' drive away from me on north side of Chicago. Even if I do like him, when would I ever see him and how would I fit into his life??? I'm just going to go on the date, enjoy the chance to get out (going to NHL game, yay!), and not make too much of it. But… almost seems like a self-defeating set up on my part. I tend to be self destructive and naive too often, I need to be more aware when I'm doing those things. Hard for me to discern, though, since I'm so open minded about pretty much everything. : /
On a positive note, I've gotten in touch with some old Midwest friends and we've talked about getting together for an evening in the coming weeks. When I was a teenager, an older woman told me something that I never forgot. She said, "you need good friends, or you need a boyfriend. Some times if you have good friends, that's all you need." She said something like that. I do know that when I have some things going in the right direction in my personal life, I have a lot more patience for catering to all my dad's needs. He is emotionally draining on me, I have to fill up that "gas tank" somehow, you know? Gym classes are still a wonderful outlet I've discovered just in past year. But… having some friends around here would be nice, too. :-)
Happy Saturday, all. (((((hugs)))))
I suggest that you approach this date as you said...a fun time out, try not to put too much in expectations on it...just enjoy the time out and see what happens. It sounds like if you get involved in this relationship, you have a lot to think about...such as...are you willing/ready to be an instant mother to 4 children...what are his priorities regarding his children, his career? Is he looking for someone to a mother to his children but not a spouse to him? While you are working on getting out of a caregiving role for an abusive father and family members, be very careful of stepping into a caregiving role as a mother while your needs as an adult woman are not being met. You are very intelligent and I know you will make wise decisions..just go slow and think the situations through.
Love to you,
Sharyn
as Sharyn said
So, your employment has discretion to assign you elsewhere, even though you had spoken up about needing to stay local? That stinks. That would make me feel unsupported by my supervisors. And that would potentially make me resentful. You mentioned it feels personal to you. That makes sense to me. Who cares what you technically are obligated to by terms of employment, if you talk to a human being who is your superior and tell them your issues, you would hope and trust they sympathize and respect your needs/preferences. I suppose in the cold world of business and bottom lines, that NO it doesn't matter to them, of course it won't, of course they will move you as they see fit… but it still stinks. And they give you no notice, no time to adjust… I'm sorry.
Austin… I'm not happy. There is fresh snow on the ground here. I didn't see it coming in my daily weather.com check. It said nothing about snow fall/accumulation. I got up to use bathroom this a.m., and there it is… snow… I am so traumatized that I had to get online and find a friend to sympathize, lol. Seriously, though, I'm darn sick of this winter. And seriously, I'm traumatized by the fresh fallen snow. I suppose I'll live through it.
Happy Sunday! (((((hugs))))) to all of you
2 months ago they hired a young girl whose father works at another store in the meat dept. They did not post it within the company because they specifically wanted her because of her father's pull within the company. By hiring her this way, they can have her work in the deli but classify her position as a service specialist. This means that she does not have less seniority than me because she is not a bakery/deli clerk. She gets 20 hours from bakery/deli and 5 hours as a service specialist. This is not because they wanted to personally get rid of me, it is politics. I just happen to be the one with lowest seniority, which nothing but bs.
I am still going to call the union because I plan to fight to stay locally, I just am not sure I want to stay at this store now knowing what I know. I got screwed even though it was not personal on their end, but it is still personal to me because I need to be local due to my mom's health.
They would rather keep another young woman who is 30, yet she goes out on extended leaves every 2-3 months for one issue or another. She is the woman whose mother committed suicide by standing in front of a train. She has a history of going out long before her mother died.
My vent is...I will no longer go in on my days off because of another person who calls in sick, I am going to do what needs to be done and I will not go the extra mile. If I get hurt at work no matter what the injury is or whether I feel it needs medical attention, I will file a workman's comp claim, getting extra time off. Why not...that is what everyone else does so why fight it, instead of me being part of the solution, I will now be part of the problem with the good ole US of A.
ABB, I don’t usually spend hours on YouTube. I’m more into my books. I only see all these videos from the news channels. Then, I google it. If I like it, I want to share it.
Trulyblessed, I’m sorry about your MIL being in the “active death” phase. When my mom died last year, and my siblings all came home, I don’t think they ever said aloud if they regretted not being here more for mom. I do know that when they went back home, they stopped responding to my emails. I basically stopped emailing them since then.
Sharyn, my fave sis ended up following everyone….take long lunches, etc…