Thank you for your support, my sweet mom has passed.

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Thank you for your support, my sweet mom has passed.

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A few days ago on the thread "The One Thing That Bothers You The Most About Caregiving" I wrote that this past Thursday was a fabulous day for Mom after months of bad/mediocre days with the bad outnumbering the mediocre. She ate hearty and us three girls and Mom played the card game Rummy and laughed a lot. Mom even came in second place (with Sister 1's help). At 8 p.m., we put her to bed. From Thursday evening until this Sunday morning, she'd been solid in bed practically asleep. Nothing to eat and about total of 1/2 cup of fluid. We gave her Ativan to calm jerking so bad she was sweating and was a hazard to herself, almost like constant seizing. She groaned and grimaced in pain so was put on morphine too. After an agonizing night--for us girls--Mom passed around 5:30 a.m. She's no longer in pain and ravaged by dementia. I've read that the dying often have a terrific day then dies a few days later. I thought of that on Thursday as I watched Mom laugh and play cards. The people on this forum aren't just caregivers for their charges, be they parent or spouse, but also to each of us who undertake a most difficult task. Thank you all who have given support and guidance to me or influenced me so much. If you ever have a bad day and wonder if you make a positive difference in the world, look in the mirror and say: "Yes. Yes, I do."

End of Life Grief Mom

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C Ceeceeisme Apr 2018 · Answer 1 · 2018-04-07T01:01:12.000-0400

Hi Mountain Moose,

Sending my heartfelt sorrow to you and yours, but also happiness for that special day you all had with your mom. It's what I was looking to strive for. Though she's still here, I am learning to relax that it's a toss up with the narcissistic moms.

Nice to have such a blessing.

M MountainMoose Apr 2018 · Answer 2 · 2018-04-06T07:08:39.000-0400

Thank you so much for all your support and sweet comments. You all mean a lot to me. {hugs} You're all lifesavers.

J Jnwitt Apr 2018 · Answer 3 · 2018-04-06T06:54:15.000-0400

I'm sorry to hear that your mom has passed.
Hugs

S SueC1957 Apr 2018 · Answer 4 · 2018-04-05T00:01:11.000-0400

MM,
I'm sorry on the loss of your mom. So glad you had a great day with her. Have that day as your memory of her. She's at peace and you brightened her last days.

I InMyShoes Apr 2018 · Answer 5 · 2018-04-04T21:40:37.000-0400

Dear MountainMoose, I am so sorry for the loss of your mom. Glad you had a wonderful day with your mom. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

L Llamalover47 Apr 2018 · Answer 6 · 2018-04-04T16:37:13.000-0400

Dearest MountainMoose: I am so, so very sorry for the loss of your sweet mom and am sending you deepest condolences. Yes, often the elder gives "one last hurrah," if you will...so to speak. I am glad that you and your sisters had that memorable time with your mother that you can hold on to forever! And you're welcome for the support for we all need it.
For my late mother, her eyes were closed and no communication from her EXCEPT ONE SOLITARY TEAR THAT ROLLED DOWN HER SWEET CHECK.

K Katie22 Apr 2018 · Answer 7 · 2018-04-04T16:35:51.000-0400

I am so sorry for your loss. The good memories of your Mom will continue to come back to you. Please take care of yourself too at this time.

C Ceecee65 Apr 2018 · Answer 8 · 2018-04-04T16:27:09.000-0400

So sorry for your loss, but happy that you all got to have a wonderful memory to help you through until the end. I know it was difficult, as I’ve been there before. However, I can see that you, like many of us here, are happy and relieved that your mom is no longer suffering.
Prayers for a peaceful heart as you wade through what needs to be done and for grief.

A ASusan48 Apr 2018 · Answer 9 · 2018-04-04T14:35:46.000-0400

MountainMoose, I'm sorry for your loss. My mother also had a really good day - above and beyond her normal - and passed away the very next morning. She was in high spirits all day, enjoyed a cookout held on the patio at the nursing home complete with a live local band, and chatted with the staff late into the evening. The next morning she got up for breakfast and simply collapsed.

I'm so glad your mom had a good day before leaving you. It makes it a little easier to bear their passing, knowing that they had one really good day.

C cdnreader Apr 2018 · Answer 10 · 2018-04-04T14:15:50.000-0400

Dear MountainMouse,

My deepest sympathies and condolences. I'm sorry for your loss. Thinking of you and your family during this sad time. Sending hugs.

D Dorianne Apr 2018 · Answer 11 · 2018-04-04T14:01:06.000-0400

(((((MountainMoose)))))

I'm so sorry for your loss.

W Windyridge Apr 2018 · Answer 12 · 2018-04-04T12:58:33.000-0400

MM, so sorry about your mom. Glad she had a good day. Hope you’re taking care of yourself.

L lucyinthesky Apr 2018 · Answer 13 · 2018-04-04T12:25:34.000-0400

Dearest MM
My deepest condolences to you and your family. May your sweet Mom rest in peace. Here is a big thank you right back at you for being there for me and sharing your wisdom.
Love and prayers to you .... Lucy in the Sky

S sscoale Apr 2018 · Answer 14 · 2018-04-04T10:44:20.000-0400

I am truly sorry for your loss. I always read your posts as our Moms shared the same dreadful diagnosis. Watching mom slip away knowing there was so little I could do to stop the decline that stripped mom of her dignity, her motor and cognitive skills, her lively and loving personality and her ability to communicate other than through hand squeezes. Her passing was peaceful, calm and serene as her heart just gave out at 92.

The support I received from this site as well as through our friends, faith and family promoted me to write on Mom’s Acknowledgment cards, “Moms life was enriched by the presence of so many great friends and extended family members that she left behind to help our family through this very difficult time. Each of you had a special place in her heart, and she will live on in our hearts as we remember the special moments we shared with her. Thank you sincerely for your love, compassion, and friendship in celebrating Mom’s life.”

M Mapotter Apr 2018 · Answer 15 · 2018-04-04T10:01:56.000-0400

So sorry for your lose. I know you will always remember that good day you you all had with her. Wishing you peace.

I Isthisrealyreal Apr 2018 · Answer 16 · 2018-04-04T09:40:42.000-0400

MM, I am sorry for your loss. I am also joyous for you that your mom is no longer suffering, bitter sweet time for you all. What a great testimony about the love and laughter shared with your family. What a beautiful memory to end this long heart breaking journey with.

May God grant you grieving mercies and may your future be filled with more such love and laughter, frequently - HUGS 2 u!

G GardenArtist Apr 2018 · Answer 17 · 2018-04-02T23:28:13.000-0400

I'm offering my sympathies as well, and appreciate giving us the opportunity to help you with your grief.

D Daughterof1930 Apr 2018 · Answer 18 · 2018-04-02T10:03:47.000-0400

I’m so sorry for the loss of your mother. What a blessing you had in having such a good time with her a few days prior to her passing! I hope you’ll be able to hold onto the happy memories and good times in the days ahead

G Gershun Apr 2018 · Answer 19 · 2018-04-02T05:51:08.000-0400

Mountain I'm so glad for you that you had that last good day with your Mom! Now, relax and take care of yourself. May peace be with you and your family!

S Shane1124 Apr 2018 · Answer 20 · 2018-04-02T05:04:48.000-0400

Mountain Moose, I am sorry for your loss. Losing our mother is one of our lowest times in life.
The way you describe her last days and interactions with you & your sisters, it sounds like you were truly blessed to have that last Thursday with your mom.
Prayers to you...

S smeshque Apr 2018 · Answer 21 · 2018-04-02T01:55:17.000-0400

Mountainmoose, so deeply sorry r your loss. I am so very glad that you and your sisters had a good day with her, laughing, and enjoying. Please keep that day in your forethoughts as you continue on.
You will be in my prayers. May God bless you.

S Sunnygirl1 Apr 2018 · Answer 22 · 2018-04-01T19:52:20.000-0400

My deepest condolences on the loss of your mother. It does sound like last Thursday was a very good day and you feel that she had a nice time. May you cherish those good memories and be relieved that she is free now. It's truly impressive that you can be so eloquent and kind with your thoughts and words at this time. Blessings to you and your family.

J JoAnn29 Apr 2018 · Answer 23 · 2018-04-01T16:12:42.000-0400

So sorry for your loss. My daughter calls it their "last hurrah". She sees it all the time. My Mom had her Faith so I know she is now whole, no more Dementia.

P polarbear Apr 2018 · Answer 24 · 2018-04-01T14:20:10.000-0400

((((((HUG)))))
MountainMoose - I haven't been on this site that long, but have read many of your posts, and I feel like I know you a little, understand your struggles a little, and watched part of your journey with your mom, and your battles with your sibs so you could go home. I am happy and sad for you at the same time. Sad for your loss, but happy that your mom is now freed, and happy that you can go home and restart your life. ((( HUG)))

C cwillie Apr 2018 · Answer 25 · 2018-04-01T14:10:02.000-0400

Sending my sympathy MountainMoose.

J jjmummert Apr 2018 · Answer 26 · 2018-04-01T14:00:27.000-0400

So glad you had joy and laughter together.

F freqflyer Apr 2018 · Answer 27 · 2018-04-01T13:58:07.000-0400

MountainMoose, my heartfelt sympathy to you and your family for the passing of your Mom. So glad you and your siblings were there during Mom's "rally" so you all could enjoy that special day with her.

B blannie Apr 2018 · Answer 28 · 2018-04-01T13:56:58.000-0400

I am so sorry about the passing of your sweet mom but I am so happy that you and your sisters had that wonderful time with her before she passed. That is a blessing that you will always remember. Thanks for sharing that bright moment with us. {{{Hugs}}}

T Treeartist Apr 2018 · Answer 29 · 2018-04-01T13:54:34.000-0400

Mountainmoose,
My condolences on the loss of your mother. I am glad you had this last happy memory of her.

T talkey Apr 2018 · Answer 30 · 2018-04-01T13:50:26.000-0400

Oh, Mountainmoose, I am so very sorry for your mother's passing. I am, though, very, very grateful for your post about the help and support here. I agree completely but could never have stated it so well. Blessings to you and your family.

Thank you for your support, my sweet mom has passed.

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