Without this blog and some other professional support I have stayed fairly balanced. I came here from N. California to S. California on December 1st to be with my mum for 3 months. I am not a caregiver 24/7 and my reason to be here to assist her in the hope of improving my relationship with her and try to give her some stress free time to help her recover from some medical issues. As you might suspect I am the daughter that for not the first time or the 10th time has sustained a no win earthy companionship with my mum. I will say that the last few weeks has revealed some improvement, probably since I rented my own apartment about 2 miles from her home. I have been spending about 2 to 6 hours with her everyday. She has just celebrated her 91st. I have been doing every thing that she will let me. She has improved as I am a good cook. I have been patient and given her every option of her desire to be independent.
She is a wolf in sheeps clothing. I will have to return to my home on March 1st as I have double housing expenses and no financial help from my two brothers. I have contacted a per diem geriatric home manager and plan on a three way consultation in a safe location to provide her with a contact as I must return to my area to address my own health issues.. She has been for years adamant about living near her 3 children Northern California due to the weather and cold.
What I am most disappointed in is that my closest brother has expressed to me that he opposes bringing in a third party as a contact to assist my mum if she wants to with out obligation. I need to go back home, but want to introduce her to a reputable licensed contact should she want as I won't be able to at a moments notice to arrive 500 miles away for an emergency. What is wrong with this picture? Daughterhallie

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When a parent gets to the frail elderly stage, either there needs to be a move so that someone is nearby to show up at the hospital or you hire a care manager. If your brother does approve of a third party, let him move closer or come up with a better solution.

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