I am not sure that anyone can help me, but I am in real, quite serious, trouble with mobile phones. Perhaps my own ageing issues as well, perhaps similarities for other people’s parent problems.
Hate cellphones with a passion. When it comes to my desk top computer, give me any website and I can figure it out in no time. The cellphone? Nope. Nada. Who's idea was this? We kept all our landline phones [same phone # for 35+ years] and refuse to get rid of them, no matter what the younger generation thinks.
I also want back my old dumb TV. It is so complex these newer TV's just to even turn on the dang thing. Gone are the days if someone calls and says "quick, turn on channel 4". By the time you get through all the steps just to get to that channel, it is too late.
Even newer cars have become a huge cellphone/internet service box on wheels. Yep, still driving my 25+ year old Jeep which actually uses a real key to get into the vehicle and start it, plus a real gear shift.
One problem is as one ages so does one's eyesight. I can't read small print [font 10 or less], and with cellphones and a TV remote with 100 tiny buttons it can make for interesting outcomes.
Margaret, do you know what type of vertigo you have? If it is BPPV (benign paroxysmal positional vertigo) then PM me, I can maybe give you some guidance on how to help yourself.
I'm hoping your doctor has prescribed an antiemetic for your nausea. This is better than OTC "motion sickness" meds, since those also make you incredibly drowsy.
I'm so sorry you're having this problem. Vertigo sucks!
I too have a very techie-minded DH and he is always changing things out on me. I didn't learn to text using my phone for years, I just didn't CARE.
He keeps adding more and more 'new and updated' programs to my computer. I had my old PrintShop down pat! and he gifted me a new one (and very sub par to the old one!) and I had to learn it all over again.
In fairness, he's a computer scientist and I am a self-taught computer newbie, no matter how long and hard I try, it just does not resonate. So I keep it simple. I don't load up my screen with APPS and I don't do a lot of stuff that requires me to learn new skills.
I have an Android phone and hopefully always will. As long as I can call out, text and google addresses, that's about all I want. I kept my landline when we moved, with the same number. I've lost touch with so many friends b/c they got rid of their phone numbers and I don't have their cells. And I hate using my cell phone for long, rambling calls anyway!
I don't watch TV. Maybe one or two movies a week just to spend time with DH. He finds the weirdest stuff--the other night was 2 'Irish Vampire' movies in a row. Yuck.
One day he was really struggling with me and he said "If you'd just CARE about this, you'd be great at it!" Ah--there's the rub. I DON'T WANT to be great at it. I want to talk face to face with people and see their eyes. I don't WANT to spend endless hours on FaceBook or YouTube just looking at junk when there are billions of books to read and neighbors to hang out with.
When I tend for my kids, the grands control the TV. I haven't got a clue how to work the various systems they have.
You are most assuredly NOT ALONE. I consider myself to be techie 'enough' when I write something to remember on the back of my hand instead of putting it in my phone. I'm unlikely to lose my hand--and very likely going to mislay my phone in a day.
Think of all the skills WE have that our kids don't! ANd my grands? Honestly, sometimes I have the family over and 14 people sit in the living room, all looking at their phones and sending each other funny videos--when they are sitting 5' apart. That dynamic makes me crazy!!!!
I'm so sorry about the vertigo. I have had that as a s/e of a migraine and it can last for days. It's AWFUL. Have you tried using migraine meds for it? That seemed to help me. But if it's due to 'crystals' in your inner ear--not a lot can be done (except the Eppley maneuver) which has helped me with dislodging the crystals. Good luck---all I can do is try to take Imitrex and do the 'maneuvers' and sleep.
As far as being a tech 'failure' you are NOT alone.
When my DH tease me for being poky about learning something new, I tell him to go in the kitchen and throw together a 4 course meal in 30 minutes. He can't use the stove, microwave, vacuum, DW, washing machine & lawnmower.
Dear friends, thank you for your replies. Cx moody, I did look up this and found that it was all there, thank you, but I’m not traveling well at the moment and haven’t followed it up (vertigo, never before, has kept me in bed for 5 days because of an inner ear issue plus stress). I can't think straight or walk straight either!
Please friends (if you can) send me more nice things. I really need them. I find my other posts are getting crosser and crosser! Although the computer is the only thing I can do except lie down and and hope for vertigo to go away so that I can face the trials of life, I shouldn’t just get snotty to other people.
I’ll explain if anyone wants, but it’s not really about aged care, just about survival with a DH who doesn’t want to slow down.
Oh boy do I get this! i am 65, great with a computer and my phones,, but absolute crap when I try to use the "smart TV" or firestick! So i mainly stick to the sat tv I can do in my sleep. LOL and every dang TV in the house is different!! Thank goodness for hubs ( and DD when she visits) to put the TV back on the settings it needs when I am done! Luckily if I really want to watch something the Kindle gets it all, it's just small
It’s a pity that we all grew up with maps on Mercator’s projection, which exagerate the apparent area of places far to north and south of the equator. Oz is actually bigger than the original USA, without Alaska. And Alice Springs is bang in the middle.
Cwillie, I suppose every place has good and bad aspects, especially for retirement. I don’t like the US idea of snow shoveling, tornadoes, or dodging guns. Here on the farm in South Australia, I don’t find the sheep interesting conversationalists, it’s a 3 hours round trip to the nearest very small town, and it isn’t easy to make friends in a sparsely settled neighborhood where everyone went to the same school, church, football club etc etc. Alice is a very long way from the next cities (1500 kms to Adelaide or to Darwin), and it’s very hot in summer, which is a trial.
BUT, Alice is the service center for an enormous area, has the highest proportion of tertiary educated people in the country, has a very active friendly community club scene just because it is so isolated, and has one very large excellent free public hospital 15 minutes down the road, with free parking. And no sheep! We even have a US southern-hemisphere surveillance base 50 kms out of town, and they seem to like it too.
If only I could use this wretched phone better, I wouldn’t have too many complaints. Thanks for the interest!
I totally sympathize with the Tech Blues. You're not imagining it. I'm (sadly) the tech person in my house by default. It requires a lot of patience and the understanding that, with tech, you never coast for long until the next change happens.
However maddening it is, I will always encourage you to try to keep up. YouTube has so many good DIY videos for just about any topic/problem. It should be your 1st go-to rather than your hubs (cuz even though that's the easy fix you are not learning anything).
I have an iPhone and use Apple Care support, which has been awesome. I've never owned a non-Apple product either in our business or personally since we bought our first office computer in 1989. So, not having to switch to another OS helps keep the learning curve under control.
Call tech support for your phone if it is free. If is isn't consider buying it, since this is a problem that will never stop. I've found the customer support people to be very patient. Two weeks ago my hubs and I were trying to update our password app and solve some lingering, long-term problems with it. I looked up their Customer Service number online (did a browser search). For 2 days we were on the phone for 2 hours each time, but eventually fixed it all -- and learned a lot. Keep seeing your devices as helpful (and life-saving!) tools so that it doesn't make you nuts. My hubs gets easily frustrated because he's not used to the amount of time it takes for us seniors to solve tech issues. I just expect it and look forward to how nice it's gonna be once the problems are resolved.
My 94-yr old Mom still has her landline and I want her to keep it, since she is already forgetting how to use basic things like her microwave. She is beginning to struggle with her flipphone and so I want a way for her to call or me to call her if all else fails. You may want to consider re-installing a landline, or VoIP (calling through your computer). What will happen if your DH pre-deceases you? You have to think of this possible scenario.
IMO people your age and older sort of are the "tweeners" in tech learning: just missing out on learning how to use computers at work (and being forced to keep up with the changes). We tried to get my in-laws to use a computer but what i learned is that unless you used it every day and had access to people showing you what to do/helping you learn -- it just didn't stick. I probably could have taught my Mom how to use a smart phone, but I just didn't want to be her tech person every. single. day.
Just remember that (unlike in prior decades) you can't really break anything or completely delete critical info as long as you're backing up to the cloud. Find all Customer Service numbers online and call for help if you can't solve it from a YouTube tutorial. You can help yourself a little more by learning the lexicon (the names of things) so that you can better describe your problem (what is the "interface" "portal", "Finder", using an app vs. logging in to the website version, etc). Often the service reps can do a screen share so they can see exactly what you're doing at your end. Apple even has a red arrow that navigates on my screen to point to where they want me to look or click.
Start by finding the Customer Support number for whatever device is giving you the biggest headache. If it relates to other devices (like the smartphone isn't synching with your tablet or laptop) then have those questions written down and make sure the CS person knows you have more than 1 thing to solve. Be patient with yourself. Tech is our friend....tech is our friend...tech is our friend...
"The rate at which human knowledge grows over time is known as the Knowledge Doubling Curve...until 1900, human knowledge had doubled approximately every century. By 1945, it was doubling about every 25 years. Today, experts estimate that knowledge is doubling as frequently as every 12 hours."
I had to google the location of Alice Springs, I see it's pretty much in the middle of Australia and not on an island (it is pretty isolated though). I think many North Americans have a skewed impression of the size of Australia from all those school maps that are wildly distorted😉. Why ever would you choose to retire in the middle of nowhere Margaret?
I think Margarets problem maybe where she lives, on a BIG island. Cells may be quite different there. Me, I do simple. What problems are u having? Too many apps, have DH clean out the ones u do not need. The ones you do use should only be the ones on ur main screen. Somecapps have to remain because they are needed for the phone but they can be hidden. I have a tablet so there are things I don't use on my phone. I use it to take pictures which end up onba flashdrive, to text and make/receive calls. I do not skype.
Oh, God. I sympathize and I EMPATHIZE. N. and I are 83 and 81 respectively. I never kept up with anything, used a flip phone with the little numbers thingy forever, finally last year got a big girl smart phone, but really use it for so little. N. was always able to fix stuff just playing around, whether the phones, the PCs, the router or whatever. He is less so now, and I am a bit better because I have learned the stuff won't spontaneously combust if I press the wrong button (usually).
But it is more and more tough, and more and more REQUIRED for your daily life. When we really run up against it we do the callout to the poor grandson and he comes, and in minutes fixes everything all up.
One problem here (and I guess for Aussies as well?) is that things are not compatible with one another as they are in Europe. Everything works differently. And you DO need to be some kind of techie to do it.
Margaret, the only answer for you and for me is to move in with Geaton for a while. I know she will just LOVE that. But she is quite tech savvy and I know we would thrive and learn a whole lot.
So Geaton, what about it? I wish I had an answer for you. I am hanging in here by my nails and can't figure how to download my photos from new phone to my laptop. Just keeps saying "change the setting to accept transfer". I think I FINALLY Figured that microsoft wants me to do some marrying of my devices, and so far they refuse to marry because they say they don't even LIKE one another.
I don't think it's senility. I think stuff is just moving so fast. Some of us have the sort of brain that freezes like the deer in the headlights, and some just jump in and play with this stuff. I am afraid I am well and certainly FROZEN. But have to keep on trying because I can't even use my medical system without this stuff.
Do you have internet access? When I run into phone or any tech problem I'm usually able to find some kind of tutorial or advice on line. I have a ancient Samsung phone (J3) that had a regular and a simple option when I set it up, and of course I chose simple so my home screen only has my few most used icons. I also have very few apps because I'd rather keep my phone AS a phone, all the rest I can do on my PC.
When computers first came in decades ago, I was fine, and even wrote a handbook for small non-profit agencies about using computers in the office. Then I remarried and moved with DH2 (an electronic engineer) to a farm in a valley with absolutely no mobile or even TV reception. We eventually got internet (not TV) via satelite (all done by my tech savy DH2), but mobile phone came 10 years later, also through the satellite. And my dear DH2 is so, so, on top of it all. He downloads every change on Linux (not Microsoft of course), so even my computer screen changes about once a fortnight.
Now we have different systems in Alice Springs and on the farm in South Australia, and I still can’t use a mobile phone. We don’t have a landline in Alice Springs, so I just get in the car and go an see people instead of fighting with the phone. I send family stuff (and for this site) on email. DH upgrades his own phone systems with every new thing going, and several times gave me his previous phone because it was ‘better than the one I had before’. So it all changed again, each time. Eventually we decided that he would get me a phone just like his (eg the latest and most complicated) so that he could explain it to me. That has not been actually worked well. He just goes flick flick flick, solves the immediate problem, and it doesn’t actually help after that. I went to a training session for android phones, my back pain problem caused me to leave half way through, (perhaps related to previous stress?), and they don’t run them very often.
Now that we have no landline, I simply cannot use all this crap. I don’t know what to do! I feel like a second class citizen! Do any of you relate to this? Is it early dementia? Or is my brain just different (we did a test, and I have a very visual memory, not a word/logic memory)? Are your parents coping better with this? Sometimes is seems that parents are only too competent with all this, and it's a completely different problem.
Any words of support would make me feel better. Love to all, Margaret
I also want back my old dumb TV. It is so complex these newer TV's just to even turn on the dang thing. Gone are the days if someone calls and says "quick, turn on channel 4". By the time you get through all the steps just to get to that channel, it is too late.
Even newer cars have become a huge cellphone/internet service box on wheels. Yep, still driving my 25+ year old Jeep which actually uses a real key to get into the vehicle and start it, plus a real gear shift.
One problem is as one ages so does one's eyesight. I can't read small print [font 10 or less], and with cellphones and a TV remote with 100 tiny buttons it can make for interesting outcomes.
I'm hoping your doctor has prescribed an antiemetic for your nausea. This is better than OTC "motion sickness" meds, since those also make you incredibly drowsy.
I'm so sorry you're having this problem. Vertigo sucks!
I too have a very techie-minded DH and he is always changing things out on me. I didn't learn to text using my phone for years, I just didn't CARE.
He keeps adding more and more 'new and updated' programs to my computer. I had my old PrintShop down pat! and he gifted me a new one (and very sub par to the old one!) and I had to learn it all over again.
In fairness, he's a computer scientist and I am a self-taught computer newbie, no matter how long and hard I try, it just does not resonate. So I keep it simple. I don't load up my screen with APPS and I don't do a lot of stuff that requires me to learn new skills.
I have an Android phone and hopefully always will. As long as I can call out, text and google addresses, that's about all I want. I kept my landline when we moved, with the same number. I've lost touch with so many friends b/c they got rid of their phone numbers and I don't have their cells. And I hate using my cell phone for long, rambling calls anyway!
I don't watch TV. Maybe one or two movies a week just to spend time with DH. He finds the weirdest stuff--the other night was 2 'Irish Vampire' movies in a row. Yuck.
One day he was really struggling with me and he said "If you'd just CARE about this, you'd be great at it!" Ah--there's the rub. I DON'T WANT to be great at it. I want to talk face to face with people and see their eyes. I don't WANT to spend endless hours on FaceBook or YouTube just looking at junk when there are billions of books to read and neighbors to hang out with.
When I tend for my kids, the grands control the TV. I haven't got a clue how to work the various systems they have.
You are most assuredly NOT ALONE. I consider myself to be techie 'enough' when I write something to remember on the back of my hand instead of putting it in my phone. I'm unlikely to lose my hand--and very likely going to mislay my phone in a day.
Think of all the skills WE have that our kids don't! ANd my grands? Honestly, sometimes I have the family over and 14 people sit in the living room, all looking at their phones and sending each other funny videos--when they are sitting 5' apart. That dynamic makes me crazy!!!!
I'm so sorry about the vertigo. I have had that as a s/e of a migraine and it can last for days. It's AWFUL. Have you tried using migraine meds for it? That seemed to help me. But if it's due to 'crystals' in your inner ear--not a lot can be done (except the Eppley maneuver) which has helped me with dislodging the crystals. Good luck---all I can do is try to take Imitrex and do the 'maneuvers' and sleep.
As far as being a tech 'failure' you are NOT alone.
When my DH tease me for being poky about learning something new, I tell him to go in the kitchen and throw together a 4 course meal in 30 minutes. He can't use the stove, microwave, vacuum, DW, washing machine & lawnmower.
We all have our skills and comfort zones!!
Get feeling better!
Please friends (if you can) send me more nice things. I really need them. I find my other posts are getting crosser and crosser! Although the computer is the only thing I can do except lie down and and hope for vertigo to go away so that I can face the trials of life, I shouldn’t just get snotty to other people.
I’ll explain if anyone wants, but it’s not really about aged care, just about survival with a DH who doesn’t want to slow down.
Love Margaret
If you have internet access, YouTube will be your best friend.
Enter "How to use "Samsung #12345", " or whatever make and model you have, and you'll find LOTS of videos explaining things.
Simple as that.
You can replay the videos to your heart's content. That's what I do, every time my iPhone gets a new version of its operating system. ◡̈
Cwillie, I suppose every place has good and bad aspects, especially for retirement. I don’t like the US idea of snow shoveling, tornadoes, or dodging guns. Here on the farm in South Australia, I don’t find the sheep interesting conversationalists, it’s a 3 hours round trip to the nearest very small town, and it isn’t easy to make friends in a sparsely settled neighborhood where everyone went to the same school, church, football club etc etc. Alice is a very long way from the next cities (1500 kms to Adelaide or to Darwin), and it’s very hot in summer, which is a trial.
BUT, Alice is the service center for an enormous area, has the highest proportion of tertiary educated people in the country, has a very active friendly community club scene just because it is so isolated, and has one very large excellent free public hospital 15 minutes down the road, with free parking. And no sheep! We even have a US southern-hemisphere surveillance base 50 kms out of town, and they seem to like it too.
If only I could use this wretched phone better, I wouldn’t have too many complaints. Thanks for the interest!
Margaret,
I totally sympathize with the Tech Blues. You're not imagining it. I'm (sadly) the tech person in my house by default. It requires a lot of patience and the understanding that, with tech, you never coast for long until the next change happens.
However maddening it is, I will always encourage you to try to keep up. YouTube has so many good DIY videos for just about any topic/problem. It should be your 1st go-to rather than your hubs (cuz even though that's the easy fix you are not learning anything).
I have an iPhone and use Apple Care support, which has been awesome. I've never owned a non-Apple product either in our business or personally since we bought our first office computer in 1989. So, not having to switch to another OS helps keep the learning curve under control.
Call tech support for your phone if it is free. If is isn't consider buying it, since this is a problem that will never stop. I've found the customer support people to be very patient. Two weeks ago my hubs and I were trying to update our password app and solve some lingering, long-term problems with it. I looked up their Customer Service number online (did a browser search). For 2 days we were on the phone for 2 hours each time, but eventually fixed it all -- and learned a lot. Keep seeing your devices as helpful (and life-saving!) tools so that it doesn't make you nuts. My hubs gets easily frustrated because he's not used to the amount of time it takes for us seniors to solve tech issues. I just expect it and look forward to how nice it's gonna be once the problems are resolved.
My 94-yr old Mom still has her landline and I want her to keep it, since she is already forgetting how to use basic things like her microwave. She is beginning to struggle with her flipphone and so I want a way for her to call or me to call her if all else fails. You may want to consider re-installing a landline, or VoIP (calling through your computer). What will happen if your DH pre-deceases you? You have to think of this possible scenario.
IMO people your age and older sort of are the "tweeners" in tech learning: just missing out on learning how to use computers at work (and being forced to keep up with the changes). We tried to get my in-laws to use a computer but what i learned is that unless you used it every day and had access to people showing you what to do/helping you learn -- it just didn't stick. I probably could have taught my Mom how to use a smart phone, but I just didn't want to be her tech person every. single. day.
Just remember that (unlike in prior decades) you can't really break anything or completely delete critical info as long as you're backing up to the cloud. Find all Customer Service numbers online and call for help if you can't solve it from a YouTube tutorial. You can help yourself a little more by learning the lexicon (the names of things) so that you can better describe your problem (what is the "interface" "portal", "Finder", using an app vs. logging in to the website version, etc). Often the service reps can do a screen share so they can see exactly what you're doing at your end. Apple even has a red arrow that navigates on my screen to point to where they want me to look or click.
Start by finding the Customer Support number for whatever device is giving you the biggest headache. If it relates to other devices (like the smartphone isn't synching with your tablet or laptop) then have those questions written down and make sure the CS person knows you have more than 1 thing to solve. Be patient with yourself. Tech is our friend....tech is our friend...tech is our friend...
"The rate at which human knowledge grows over time is known as the Knowledge Doubling Curve...until 1900, human knowledge had doubled approximately every century. By 1945, it was doubling about every 25 years. Today, experts estimate that knowledge is doubling as frequently as every 12 hours."
Source: www.eetimes.com
Why ever would you choose to retire in the middle of nowhere Margaret?
But it is more and more tough, and more and more REQUIRED for your daily life. When we really run up against it we do the callout to the poor grandson and he comes, and in minutes fixes everything all up.
One problem here (and I guess for Aussies as well?) is that things are not compatible with one another as they are in Europe. Everything works differently. And you DO need to be some kind of techie to do it.
Margaret, the only answer for you and for me is to move in with Geaton for a while. I know she will just LOVE that. But she is quite tech savvy and I know we would thrive and learn a whole lot.
So Geaton, what about it?
I wish I had an answer for you. I am hanging in here by my nails and can't figure how to download my photos from new phone to my laptop. Just keeps saying "change the setting to accept transfer". I think I FINALLY Figured that microsoft wants me to do some marrying of my devices, and so far they refuse to marry because they say they don't even LIKE one another.
I don't think it's senility. I think stuff is just moving so fast. Some of us have the sort of brain that freezes like the deer in the headlights, and some just jump in and play with this stuff. I am afraid I am well and certainly FROZEN. But have to keep on trying because I can't even use my medical system without this stuff.
I have a ancient Samsung phone (J3) that had a regular and a simple option when I set it up, and of course I chose simple so my home screen only has my few most used icons. I also have very few apps because I'd rather keep my phone AS a phone, all the rest I can do on my PC.
Why are you trying to do? Are you okay with making calls? Getting to this site?
Why else are you wanting to do?
Now we have different systems in Alice Springs and on the farm in South Australia, and I still can’t use a mobile phone. We don’t have a landline in Alice Springs, so I just get in the car and go an see people instead of fighting with the phone. I send family stuff (and for this site) on email. DH upgrades his own phone systems with every new thing going, and several times gave me his previous phone because it was ‘better than the one I had before’. So it all changed again, each time. Eventually we decided that he would get me a phone just like his (eg the latest and most complicated) so that he could explain it to me. That has not been actually worked well. He just goes flick flick flick, solves the immediate problem, and it doesn’t actually help after that. I went to a training session for android phones, my back pain problem caused me to leave half way through, (perhaps related to previous stress?), and they don’t run them very often.
Now that we have no landline, I simply cannot use all this crap. I don’t know what to do! I feel like a second class citizen! Do any of you relate to this? Is it early dementia? Or is my brain just different (we did a test, and I have a very visual memory, not a word/logic memory)? Are your parents coping better with this? Sometimes is seems that parents are only too competent with all this, and it's a completely different problem.
Any words of support would make me feel better. Love to all, Margaret