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I've been having a hard time lately after a couple of discussions with the nurses and doc at mom's nursing home. She's been there two years and we're generally happy with the care. But my recent conversations get the response of .... well, she's been having a lot of bad days, she's been slowing down, she has lots of issues. I can understand and in some ways see the reality of what they're saying. I really can. But am I supposed to just sit back and watch her get weaker, or aren't I supposed to advocate for her and push them to see if there are things that can be done to help make her more comfortable, or even address her issues. She's not at the end of her life. She's 70 but with a lot of physical issues and history of long term bipoloar disorder. Her doc is saying that she shows symptoms of parkinsonism, probably due to all the antidepressants she's been on. But no one has officially diagnosed her with Parkinson's. I'm starting to feel like the obsessive daughter at the nursing home. What if I am? And there really isn't much more to be done? And what if I'm not, and the docs and nurses need me to push but they keep pushing back? I just lost my brother five months ago to a sudden onset and metastasis of lung cancer. That experience has left me a bit skeptical about the medical community and terrified that i'm going to loose Mom too.

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I think you have every right to keep at the doctors and nurses about your loved one. It's always better to be safe than sorry. I think you need to have a meeting with all of them (if possible) and tell them what you've told us.....that you feel like the obsessive niece, but you really care and want her to live out her life the best she can. They should take you seriously and really listen and give some other options. If not, then I would strongly advise to check other nursing homes that maybe specialize in mental illness where she could get the specific care she needs. Don't give up or you will feel guilty all the time that you didn't do your best for her. Let us know what transpires and good luck :)
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