Just frazzled and anxious. Dad had the beginning of Alzheimer's before prostectomy in April, although he woke up from that surgery far more progressed. Mom's dad's primary caregiver, she also has narcolepsy she won't admit to. My own health--8 comorbid, active autoimmunes and finances from being disabled--led me toward nearly death 1.5 years ago. Stress is bad now. It reminds me of why I nearly wanted to die. I can't afford a car, so mom's the only one driving. Parents are in their 70's. They kind of can't figure out why I'm so stressed out so badly, but I see what they can't get outside themselves to see. And conversations with dad, once lively and deep, are...delicate. He believes he still has cancer even though all PET scans have come back normal. He believes he's dying from it. He knows his dementia is more advanced than his doctor expected and he's lost hope now that his brain will grow back. He won't call it Alzheimer's yet. It takes him 20 minutes each time in the bathroom. He can't adapt to change well at all. He's forgetful, regimented and security-obsessed. When I had my spell, I was gone for a bit and mom started going through my things without me and she still does. It feels as if I'm being punished over and over. In good times my antidepressants tide me over. During such stress, I wish there were more. I do have to say I was grateful when dad's last neurologist, at some pleading, put him on Cymbalta. Our family has been through one medical h*ll after another, never letting up, for nearly 36 years. It's wearing. I'm clinically depressed and anxious (tried a therapist, she gave me very bad advice, so that's not a real avenue for me.). I really could use a community of friends who understand these kinds of things and could possibly help me understand them. I'm a compassionate, loving person who just doesn't know the skills to get through it. Oh, did i mention I'm getting a dog Saturday? I'm fearful of any more stress that may bring. The shrink says it'll be a help as a therapy animal. I'm not sleeping well and yet I'm tired--stress.