NikoLynn88, I am so sorry for your loss. Have you tried a support group? And /or therapy? I wish I could help but I don't know what to say other than I will keep you in my prayers. (((((hugs)))))
Niko, I think what you need is some sort of closure. My suggestion would be to write your sister a letter. Say everything you wanted to say to her on that last day. Make it a novel if you have to, but get it out on paper. Normally I don't go in for this stuff, but I just may have to change my mind for you. I think it's very important you get to tell her what you regret not getting to before she died. Now as far as what you do with the letter afterwards, that's up to you. Sorry about your loss.
Niko, I am so sorry for your loss. Sudden death is easy for the person and so difficult for the family. There are unresolved issues and many things left unsaid. NancyH has excellent advice...sit down and start writing. A grief support group would also be a good way to share your feelings in a comfortable and safe environment.
You are not alone in your grief. We are all here for you. There is no timetable or right/wrong way to grieve for someone you obviously loved very much.
You are not alone in your grief. We are all here for you. There is no timetable or right/wrong way to grieve for someone you obviously loved very much.
Take good care of yourself. God bless!