My 70 yo husband definitely has some form of (vascular?) dementia- I realised over a year ago, when he started coming out with stuff that wasnt logical, got confused driving (he'd always been really competent). He's always been difficult, but dementia makes it worse, can't see how ridiculous he is as he becomes abusive over nothing. We have long silences as the mildest comment can provoke wrath: I'd been planning day out with granddaughter. I was paying, doing it all. Invited him if he wanted. He felt she was too young. Fine..well, I'll do it and if it all goes wrong, that's my look out. But when I discussed the places I intended to take her a few days on, he became furious ("you just say it to undermine me and rub my nose in fact that you're not listening to me!") He can watch golf on TV for 12 hours straight (gazing fixedly at screen, not texting or whatever) but when I inquire "oh, what did he just say?" I usually get a blank 'oh, I must have missed that!' Having given up work a while back, and completely reliant on him to pay housekeeping (shopping is utter hell, I feel guilty for eating!) I am trying to start little job leafletting. Again, mustn't mention it too much or he'll tell me I can pay all the bills - so it's got to seem like a pocket money thing! (I currently get £5 a week pocket money- grudgingly). (He just spent £500 on new golf clubs.) Only relax when he's out (golf is WONDERFUL!) He's so unfailingly negative- ask what he thinks about something - new dress, something you've made - and he'll thoughtfully observe all the bad points. NEVER get a compliment. Might get a grudging "I suppose so" if asked "isn't this lovely?" It's a tough life; I'm only 56 and feel I'm going under some days. Would be so lovely to have a sunny smile, bit of positivity sometimes, but guess it's all downhill. I feel like one of those Victorian women, employed as paid companions to horrid irascible old people!