I m a single Mum and I have a son who is autistic. My father lives alone and is in bad health. I visit him as often as I can often leaving my own jobs etc. He is very nasty and bitter towards me. Always miserable moaning saying I hardly visit ( at least 3 times per week ) 30 mile round trip. I m fed up and don't do right for doing wrong. I feel this situation is straining our relationship if there ever has been a half decent one. He s never bothered with me or visited me ( once in 12 yes ). Nobody else bothers with him I m fed up being his vulnerable target. He gave me a car a while ago and now says he wished he had scraped it. I think this was now to pile more guilt on me I don't think he really wanted to give me it at all. Please help with some advice

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I am in the uk i m so grateful for your replies and kind words it means so much at the moment.

Why don't you stop visiting him if it makes you both so unhappy?

He gave you a car, I presume you said thank you. End of story.

If people verbally abuse us, we should leave their presence saying "oh, I'm sorry you're in a grumpy mood, I'll come back when you're feeling more cheerful". You do that once. The next time he verbally abuses you, you say " Dad, I'm sorry you feel that way about me. I can't listen to that kind of talk from you anymore". And leave.

Don't put up with this crap. Not from him, not from anyone.

I would believe you're not in the US, since you use the term "mum". I'm not sure what services are available in the UK (if that's where you are), but you need to call in some other resources so you can set good boundaries with your father and let others do what you're doing.

You have your hands full with your son. You don't deserve to be disrespected by your dad for trying to help. Find some help from others and just call him once or twice a week. When he starts in with his bitterness, get off the phone. You deserve to be treated well by this man and if he can't do it, let him find other help. You don't owe him your sanity or good health. Hugs to you...

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