I've been taking care of my mother for 1 1/2 years now. My sister was taking care of her before that for 4 years in another state. Then, my sister called me and my siblings when she ( my sister) couldn't take it anymore and became suicidal and demanded that we come get my mother. At the time I just didn't get it. Now, I'm beyond exhausted and even though she's in assisted living, I feel as if I do all the assisting. My mother has dementia, which I understand and try to be compassionate about. However she has always been and continues to be mean spirited, verbally abusive, manipulative, cruel and hurtful. I'm trying so hard and usually I'm o.k. But I'm so exhausted now and all my siblings live in other states. I don't know how much more I can take. I thought I made peace with her as a person and parent, but it's all coming back up. I'm trying to remember she is my mother and deep down she is a good person, but I'm so exhausted and stressed out. I've used up a lot of vacation time at work taking her from doctor to doctor and despite her claiming she's in extreme pain, none of them find anything wrong with her. Also the pain seems to manifest itself whenever or wherever it benefits her.